Messages By: justweird

I guess everyone who says that this isn't real, or is 100% psychological have never really experienced it. Sorry, but mental problems don't make things fly off tables and smash into a wall. Mental problems don't change the temperature in a room. Mental problems don't create apparitions that several people can see...everyone seeing it without any prior suggestion.  I have been touched, paralyzed, and even strangled by things I cannot see.  

Sure, one can say that it is all in my head or there is a physiological cause for it.  I used to think that, too. I had medical tests including EEG to rule out some type of seizure, but everything came back normal. That leaves psychological. I do have post traumatic stress disorder and Dissociative Identity disorder. If you don't know what that is, I wont try to explain it here.  That said, I will say that SOME of the physical symptoms could be attributes to dissociated body memories/abreactions.  But I know that some of them are not.  

I am a survivor of satanic abuse as a child and have a history of satanism.  It is absolutely real. I find it odd that many Christians believe in angels and miracles, but they don't believe in demons or curses.  A lot of people who believe they are cursed, really are not. But that certainly does not mean that NOBODY is tormented by evil or by curses. One thing I will say is that whether or not it is real for an individual, the only way to know for sure is by finding a good therapist who believes in the possibility of spiritual oppression.  

Read books, talk to pastors...get a lot of opinions. If it becomes clear that you do need deliverance/exorcism, for petes sake do NOT let just anybody who calls themself an exorcist work with you.  You will wind up worse off than before!!  I know because it has happened to me.  I have yet to find someone reputable who understands both dissociation and spiritual warfare. I have to believe that there is someone somewhere, otherwise there is no hope for me.  

You don't know what Dissociative Identity Disorder is, do you?  Some of your suggestions are out of reach right now because I lose time. I don't choose it, it just happens. I am a Christian and have already been baptized. Also been through Neil Andersons "steps to freedom".  I've been to every ministry within driving distance, and you would not believe the stuff I've been through with them.  I cannot attend church right now. Long story.  Besides, every christian church I've tried to attend has asked me to leave before long.   Suffice it to say that they don't believe me.  

 I find people who believe in dissociation, but not spiritual oppression...and I can find people who believe in oppression, but not dissociation.  In other words, either shrinks dismiss any discussion of spiritual things and say its ALL in my head. OR churches who say it is ALL spiritual and do not believe in DID.  Sometimes the right kind of help is not available so all one can do is function as best as they can.  I don't bother trying to make friends anymore because they can't handle knowing the truth about me.  

I won't bother getting into what happened to me because I'll just get too upset anyway. I don't remember just about anything before the age of 11, but what I do remember is vile. I'll leave it at that.  I have post traumatic stress, severe anxiety, and dissociative identity disorder. I've been in therapy for years. It actually took several years for the DID/MPD to be diagnosed, and another couple of years for me to accept that diagnosis. I had no idea before then.   

I can't go anywhere or do normal things. I'm jealous of people who take for granted their freedom to go places without fear. I can't have anyone behind me. I always have to be able to see an exit, and that exit has better not be blocked or else I feel trapped.  I can't stand to be touched, so I avoid doctors unless I am deathly ill. I've needed certain medical tests for a long time, and I shudder to think about them, let alone actually get them done. Certain sights, smells and sounds are triggering also. The only way to avoid freaking out (having flashbacks and/or abreactions) in public, is to just not go anywhere if I can help it. Earplugs are my best friend.  

 I can't tell anyone what I am dealing with because nobody understands.  I can count on one hand the number of people who know about my diagnosis, and that includes my shrinks, my doctor, my boss, and my son. Nobody else knows what a freak I really am.  

A lot of people confuse DID/MPD with schizophrenia - are you sure your friend has DID? DID is not a chemical/physiological disorder and is not treatable with meds like schizophrenia can be. Or is she taking the medications for a secondary diagnosis such as depression or anxiety?   

I assume that she is in therapy and has a good support system in place (family and/or friends).  I don't have that - only my shrink.  Is your friend coconscious?  I'm not at all.  I'm glad your firend is happy and productive.  Some people with DID are more functional than others because of the various degrees... 

I agree with momisme about responding to people like Sharon with stuff like "Jesus is the only way", and all the hellfire and damnation things that Christians like to say. Saying those things to people who were repeatedly abused in the name of Jesus does nothing more than reinforce the trauma the person experienced. Children have it drilled into their heads that if they are bad they will go to hell, that the bad things being done are because Jesus loves them, etc.  

While my abuse in the name of Jesus was not the same as Sharons, the effects are similar.  Love hurts. Jesus hurts. and because it hurts, I'm going to hell. Or am I? This verse in the bible says one thing - that I am going to heaven. But somewhere else it says I'm going to hell, so why try figuring it out? It is just too much. 

Listen, I know that you mean well, but you are missing the point entirely. What is love? Is it trivializing and dismissing the things that people have gone thrugh, telling them to just get Jesus and get over it? It isn't that simple, and you talking like that is NOT showing compassion and love. It is saying "I don't care how you feel. Just get over it.  By the way Jesus loves you" 

You have absolutely ZERO concept of what cult abuse does to children. What happens when all a child knows for the first decade of their life is that "Love" means having sex, and the person that tells them that calls themself "Jesus".  And that telling is a sin. And that sinners die and go to hell. And if you are bad, your pet will be killed to. And maybe your baby brother too. That is all that child knows - terror. There is no place to escape and no safe people.   

Would you go up to that child and start telling them they have to love Jesus or else they are going to hell? Think about how that child would hear it. Remember - they have NO concept of the "real" Jesus. Just telling them that the other one was really the devil isn't going to help. Just telling them that Jesus is really a good guy isn't going to help.  

They have had years and years being shown and learning the opposite. They also need to be SHOWN the opposite over and over again. Not just told. This isn't something that just goes away by saying a little prayer. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality). The damage runs deeper than you know. I can rationalize all the words you just said, but there are parts of me who cannot. They are still terrified of Jesus. Terrified.  

You can sit there all day and say "well thats a lie get that lie out of your head and believe Jesus loves you before it is too late. I don't want you to go to hell".  But I have to tell you that saying those words without compassion of any kind is just plain cruel.  Did the real Jesus just preach about goodness, or did he practice it as well? 

I do believe in generational curses. Even the bible acknowleges generational iniquity. I have ancestors connected to the salem witch trials, and several generations of occult involvement. My great grandmother was a witch, and an uncles family who are still practicing satanists. Take that bizarre family and marry into another bizarre family to add in the Children of God cult, to make for some pretty messed up kids coming from that union.   

So yeah, I may be considered a crazy person because I have DID/MPD, but I'm not talking about just "perceived" curses, but all out attacks. Light bulbs blowing up, things flying of tables, glass in picture frames cracking for no reason - haunting type of stuff happens all the time, no matter where I live.  It is real.