Messages By: jphoenix

I watched yesterday's show and was so touched by the two last stories.  I especially feel concern for Sharon.  I find it hard to accept that a father would do such a terrible thing to his little girl, a girl who was so obviously afraid of life (no doubt learned by her father and the images he surrounded her with). 

While I cannot relate to such abuse at the hand of someone who "loved" me, I can relate to the fear of religious symbology.  When I was younger, I would have trouble sleeping after watching a movie with religious symbology (The Seventh Sign comes to mind).  I would literally be shaking with fear.  I would obsess over reading the bible, looking up passages that I had seen quoted in movies.  I think it is important to note that I was not raised in a religious family.  My mother and father chose not to raise us in a church family, so that we could make up our own minds when we reached maturity (maturity isn't something you reach when you are 18).  These dreams and fears stayed with me until adulthood.  I lived overseas for some time, and went through a terrible, dark depression while there.  The nightmares climaxed.  I was literally fighting evil in my sleep.  By myself I felt completely helpless, and frankly terrified.  I thought that demons were going to possess me if they hadn't already.  My intellectual self knew that my mind was simply putting symbols on to the feelings I had inside.  Even though I knew this, I was still terrified.  I went to an international clinic, and explained my situation...I myself said "fighting inner demons"...which the doctor corroberated.  I worked hard at fighting for so long, and was absolutely exhausted. 

I read and read and read in the following months.  Philosophy, religion, science, psychology...I am a firm believer in learning by and helping oneself (life teachers of course are invaluable).  One thing stuck in my mind.  It is a fact that spans time, space, religion, science, spirituality.  It is something that has brought me peace and at times real joy.  It is something I found a great deal of comfort in.  By writing this, it is my hope that maybe Sharon will read on, and realize that ALL humans have good/evil, light/dark (whatever your preference), in them.  There is no need to fight anything.  Fighting causes struggle, conflict and pain.  Know, accept, be aware, and there will be peace...and let your light shine!