Messages By: noraann

We are guilty and it is our fault IF we know better.  

You did not know it was wrong.  

You are not guilty.  

Right? 

Not knowing how old you are now, if you are under age, you can call the CPS in your area. Jump in the phone book and look or jump on line for your area. If you are an adult then there should be support groups in your area also. Local mental health agencies usually know of groups that meet and are normally free. Not dealing with the past will only tear you apart. Life is to short to let that happen. Your last post left me a little confused. Can you elaborate? Or are you still uncomfortable in speaking up?   

Nora 

I have been reading the thread here and I can understand how agitating this subject can be for people. Maybe it's just having a long weekend  or church was just that good on Sunday! I feel more content today than normal. LOL..... 

but for every person that has hurt us in some way there seems to be two good persons or more in return. Mike has a wonderful family. Parents that took him in and taught him what a good family is. Which blossomed into love, caring, a family of his own with a beautiful wife and children.  WOW! How can any one say there's not a God out there.........this is an awesome group of people here........just my two cents....... 

Nora 

It's great to see that the two of you can come together and be a family. Madelyn you spoke up when I know it had to be hard but you did it! And Nancy, to believe in your daughter tells me that you are a great mother. You both are an inspiration to everyone out there! Thank you!  

God Bless........ 

OPPS! Sorry everyone........CPS=Child Protective Services 

Sorry I was doing my volunteer thingie. I try and help out giving my time at the food bank. We are also working on a quilt to auction off in September, so that's where I have been this AM.  

Wow! Miss Dramamama.....Thank You SOOOOO much for the vote of confidence. I have been at this for over 20 years and if I can help just one person, then I feel that I have done my best in this crazy world. I want to get back into helping my town. When I lived in the bigger city close to me, I wrote a few articles and appeared on TV to help others. I caught some static from those who didn't want to hear it. But I caught tremendous applaud from professionals in that town that thought it was about time for someone to speak up. I hate to see others suffer if I have something that can help them.......I think we are a great bunch here! Pats for all!  

Nora 

Cisco, It's nice to see that you have taken another step forwards in helping yourself. I am proud of you. When you are ready to tell your mom, you may be able to have the assistance of your counselor with you. I helped a teen one time tell her mom she was pregnant. We addressed it in a way that Mom didn't feel as if we were all against her. Mom took it very well. If your mother is unable to accept this, it is not your fault. She has to accept that you need to do this for you, not her. Stress to her that you would like her support. If she is unable to give it, that's OK to. She may freak, she may not. But knowing that you have taken that big step in seeking some one to help you is just exciting in my book. It's a big step that we all have done or have wanted to do. You are on your way. It wont be easy all the time, but later on when you look back and hold your head up high, you will be proud of who you are. You have a lot of support here, lean on us........  )))))HUGS((((( 

Nora 

I was so up set after yesterdays show. I still have a headache. I would have stood up in the middle of the show and volunteered to take over raising Victoria. She is a beautiful young girl that deserves more than what she is getting. Her sister is is going to have a difficult life also. Mom does not realize what she is doing to both of these girls. We don't know because of the time element of the show what is going on with the other family members. She mentioned something about a step brother. A new husband? What do they think? What about dad? SO many questions and not enough time. I wander in my mind if this Mom was treated like this also and this is the only behavior she knows. The damage she is doing will mar this precious little girl for life. I feel bad for all of them, even the mother.  

My foster parents always introduced their son as "our son and this is our FOSTER DAUGHTER". Like they were doing me a favor. It made me feel second hand. My mother still to this day insults me, but thats OK. I realize that she can't help who she is. I'm not here to please her, I'm here to please God. But it is hard to understand why people have to do this to little children........it's the one thing I may never understand....why hurt little Innocent children....? 

Is this the one you are referring to? It aired in May, 2006. 

familywatchdog.us. 

First of all let me say that you did the right thing in speaking up. Those that feel you should have kept "it" quiet are the ones that are unable to deal with child abuse them selves. So don't ever feel that you did wrong. You are the victim here.  Do not carry others loads of guilt.  

Your brother carried this to his grave. He was unable to deal with what he did to you. Maybe this was his easy way out? Can't say, he is not here to answer that question. This does not mean that you can't go to the grave and talk to him. You can get angry there just as easy as if he were there in front of you.  

Seek out a counselor and a support group in your area. Start a journal of how you feel, even on the days that you are feeling great! Read it back to him at the grave. One thing I did was to write a letter to my brother. Took me several times to perfect it. I then gave it to him. He was very upset I could be so cruel! LOL......I looked him in the eyes and reminded him how cruel he was to me. We speak, but because of all this, he still has his cross to carry. I survived, he hasn't. 

This will take time, but understand you are not a "freak" you are one of God's children and he will not leave you. I have not forgotten what has happened to me, you are right in this aspect. But I will and do not allow it to control me any longer. Just like you some day will feel the peace that I and others on this board feel........You can do this. You are stronger than you think. And if you ever dout this, look at where you are today and look where your brother is at.......... 

God Bless..........Nora