Messages By: noraann

Hi there! That's what this board is here for. Not always for answers. Just to vent, get things off our chest's, or just our two cents worth. Glad to see you post......... 

Nora 

It is time to take control of your life and your family.  Working at the shelter, you have the tools that it will take to help you get on your way. I'm a little baffled at how you think that you carried the curse to your daughter? Her father is at fault not you.  You work in a shelter, are you not able to stay there with your children? Leave the jerk! You are helping others, but are failing to help yourself.....? I don't know everything going on, but I can't imagine nothing being done about this. The abuse has to STOP. And it will take you to do so. Is there a Victims Assistance Program with the local police department? Talk to your boss. Find someone to help. If they aren't able is it because of who your spouse is? Help me out here.......It's time to stop hurting, you can email me if you would like. I know that the support is here for anyone that needs it. We aren't a closed group. The circle is open to all in need. What can we do to help?  

Nora 

jbfam@sbcglobal.net 

Maybe because you are out of your safety zone? You aren't used to this new world yet. It's been about 10-12 days now? You will get over the feeling. I did. As for crying......I couldn't cry for years. Once I got started, I couldn't stop! LOL.....let them flow sweetheart! Let them flow! I look at the tears as a sign of freedom and independence! As for the feeling to need to ask permission to do something...as my "Father" says.........."this to shall pass"........so you go girl! Spread those wings and fly, live every day as if it is your last, and Thank God for moment of every day.  

God Bless!  

Nora 

My spouse had the same problem you had. 1st and 2nd wife cheated on him. This was after he had built a new house for each one! He worked many hours to provide for his family. Three boys. Well, he finally decided to call it quits.....well almost. He tried date.com, in the mean time I had just returned from out west after four years of running away. My new husband of one year died in my arms. I ran thinking that I could escape. Didn't work. I came back to Indiana, made a life with my kids.....but I was still unhappy. I had a great job, my family back, nice apartment, but no one to share my life with. I sat on this computer and cried. I prayed that I was lonely and that although I had everything, I was grateful, but I did not deserve anything more, I needed a gentleman in my life to be with. Not know what was happening, Jim to had said more or less the same prayer! Long story short......I answered Jim's email form the date.com site. He was a good Lutheran man, went to church, believed in God, and was very much a gentleman. That was two years ago. We have been married just over one year. Life is wonderful. He is 6 years younger than me, but age doesn't matter to us. God brought us together. To this day, we still hold hands and tell each other we love each other and praise God together..........My first spouse was a lazy one. My second was a God fearing Man to...just that God needed him more I guess......but he gave me Jim in return. You to will find that  Miss Right....do not settle for 1/2. You deserve 100% and you will get it. Know what you want in life and in your mate to be. Society jumps into bed to quick. And then they move on. They need to get to know each other BEFORE they test the marital bed! Good luck!  

Is there not a saying about why pay for the milk when you can get the cow for free??? Why is it that people are so eager to jump into bed?  

Good advice........... 

just my 2cents worth...... 

Is there not a saying about why pay for the milk when you can get the cow for free??? Why is it that people are so eager to jump into bed?  

Good advice........... 

just my 2cents worth...... 

I don't think any of us are without sin...mistake.no problem. It takes a real person to admit and say I'm sorry. Isn't it nice to know your human! LOL......I mean look at my picture......I'm a bear!! 

Nicole..........If you tell anyone it would have to be a real friend. If you find out that they leave them they were not a true friend.  

Counseling helps if you have the right one. You state that it helps sometimes. I went through over 4 years of it. It was hard. But I knew that I had to push hard. I was blessed the second time with a guy that helped me. He knew how much to push and could control my anger and flashbacks. He was a Vietnam vet. He is highly regarded in our town. If I walked out without feeling pain and a sense of accomplishment, then I felt that I didn't do myself any good. The need to be free of the pain and guilt drove me harder to succeed to survive.  

Do Not......and I repeat........DO NOT HURT YOURSELF! You have people around you that love you. They depend on you whether you know it or not. We care here to.....so pick up the phone and ask for help. I hear that Welbutrin is great! I should know....LOL....it helped me at one time. So pick up yer bootie strings and lets keep up our chin! We can do this !