Messages By: fuzzy123

I am 24yrs old... Female
I have delt with Bulimia for the last 4years.
I have always been overweight and I have tried exercising and diet and nothing seemed to help. I tried to be anorexic but didn't have the self control and couldn't hide it from my family. Being bulimic was sooooooooo much easyer and combined with exercise I could still be "part of the group" but not have to worry about wieght gain because of my slow metabolism... I went from 170lbs to only 130lbs (in about 8months)... Still another 10lbs to go before I was my "ideal" weight. 
I started going to a pentacostal church near me and that was when I realized I had a problem and needed to deal with this...It was not what God wanted me to be doing.. He loved me too much to have this happen. It took me another 2 years, very supportive friend/sister in law, a huge amount of prayer (and a bad case of bronchitis) before I was able to get a foot up on the step of recovery..    

I am now 5'4 and 150 lbs... It is still sooooooo hard to deal with. My body and my weight is an obsession... I have been "clean" for about 1yr...unfortunately there have been times when I "slip"... but I am trusting God to get me through this... He has put in my path friends and websites like this to help me through...  
I just want to send this out to all who feel like there is no help and they are at their wits end... I have sat by my bed crying feeling like there was nowhere to turn and there was only darkness ahead with no out... TRUST ME!!! There is a light at the end of the tunell... don't give up... Please... there is a better way
 

I have been there where you are now...
You feel as if there is nowhere else to turn as if no one would understand...
Just please keep remembering Gods promisses... He will NEVER leave you NOR forsake you...
He has a plan for you...
This may sound like a bunch of blah blah blah..... but I am not saying this like it has been years before and I am all better....
Just last night I sat at my church crying over the exact same thing you wrote.
A friend of mine just kept reminding me that God thinks I'm beautiful and that this will end... Just put your faith and trust in God 

I wasn't a christian when I first became "bulimic"... I knew that God was there... I had him as my personal savior... but that was it....
I felt so condemed when I became a christian and had this "addiction"
I thought I was alone... That no one would understand and that I was the only "Christian Bulimic"  

I am still trying sooooo hard to stay strong... but to see that I am not alone... having Jesus as my personal savior but to still have a problem... To know in my head how much God loves me... but to still have no control and hurt myself like this...
God has sustained me... but I will say this... It is/has not been an easy battle...
Thank-You soooo much for your kind words HISJEWEL. You are definately a kind spirit and allthough I've never met you.... I feel like I know you... Thank-you again... You honestly don't know how much your words have helped me... Gave me a little more strength.
 

Ok... well... Thursday was a bad day at work...
All I could think of was trying to gain controll... I was spinning out of controll and there was only one thing I have control on..............
I guess I realize now.... that the reason I'm ON This site is because I don't have control... that I want help... and not feeling like a freak.... 

BUT.... I did it.... I got through.... I went to bed.... didn't sleep too well.... and felt soooo sick in the am...... but I did it.....or should I say I DIDN'T do it..... I just got off the computer.... brushed my teeth.... read my bible.... and stayed in bed......
One day.... sometimes one second at a time....... 

Hi...
I have to agree with HISJEWEL.
Everyone has a diffferent way of dealing with Bulimia.
Mine was realising that I had a problem and understood that I wasn't only hurting myself but my family, my friends, and the worst was God... To just sence that He was hurting... just imagining the look on his face...when he saw me...his preciouse daugther... His jewel ;) hurting myself....
I am not better.... I think about purging EVERYDAY.... but I am SLOWLY gaining the strength that I need to overcome this. I have the hope and faith that this is NOT THE END...
People never thought that I was bulimic... unlike most bulimics I'm overweight  

By the time I was purging 4-6 times a day I went from 170 to 130 (I should be about 120)
NOW... I have had "episodes" since I stopped...but for the most of it... well....I hurt my metabolism..... I am 150lbs.... and it hurts.... I still HATE how I look... and I HATE trying to shop for clothing....
BUT the point is.... I am on the road to recovery....I got a lot of prayerand got one of my best friends as an accountability partner...She was GREAT... she would come over and just flat out ask me if I threw up today... I didn't want to lie.....
Please don't give up...
I will say this too.....
It doesn't matter if you are only 80lbs or 250lbs (or more) God thinks you are preciouse and loves you with all his Heart...just release your hopes and dreams unto Him....HE WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN...