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Messages By: nscrchick

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January 16, 2006, 5:50 pm CST

Is This Normal?

up until my current boyfriend, i have had the big "o" but a few months ageo i had an "O" that was gushing. (how embarrassing).  i asked my best friend about this and she said that there are aorgasms and then there are "those".  ok call me stupid, but huh? the only time i have "those" are with a certain toy that i have.  any other similar experiences?
 
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January 18, 2006, 2:51 am CST

Is This Normal?

Quote From: lynn62118

I'm a 35 yr old woman, never married but have been in a few relationships.  For some reason I'm having problems when it comes to touching intimately (or anything else for that matter) my current boyfriend who I've been with for 4 months, I'm absolutely crazy about him and definitely attracted to him and I think about doing all of those great fun things but when it comes down to it, I can't.  He's  really a great guy, treats me wonderfully, we get along incredibly well and I have no doubt that he is absolutely devoted to me, even though neither of us have said the "L" word, which I have almost let slip quite a few times but due to past experiences I've learned to let the guy say it first, otherwise he'll get scared away, and since he has been in relationships that have gone bad he's a bit gun-shy too about saying it.  Because we have both been hurt before, we have been taking things slowly.  I think that my main problem is that he has 5 kids with 5 different women, I know I know, that sounds really bad and caution flags were there in the beginning, I don't know what happened between him and all of them but he's not a player or anything of the like but actually very shy when it comes to women, shoot, I had to approach him to get him to start talking to me after working at the same mall for a year and half, he did security so I saw him walking around all of the time.  Anyway, I guess I feel like I'm competing with all of the other women he has been with and not sure if I would please him, so I feel a bit intimidated.  I've had a few boyfriends but I don't have any children by any of them as constant reminders.  I've never really been all that comfortable touching a guy in certain ways anyway, I supposed it stems from growing up being taught that only naughty girls do those kinds of things.  He says that it doesn't bother him but I know it does and he thinks that he is doing something wrong, which I keep telling him that it's not him, but me, he by the way has no problem pleasing me and I very much so want to please him back.  Between feeling like I'm competing with his exes and building my own little wall around my emotions from being hurt too many times before, I'm having a hard time dealing with this, it's been 4 months after all and I shouldn't have any problem with touching him.  On today's show, Dr Phil told that one girl to stop hiding behind the wall and take risks, I don't know how far or how long this relationship is going but I definitely what to give him my heart, mind, body & soul.  I'm just having a hard time getting past this issue and it's unfair to him for me to make him pay for his exes or my exes mistakes.   

  

I dont mean to sound condescending, but are you crazy dating a man with 5, count them 5 kids!!!????  I mean he may be very sweet and all, but obviously the man has committment issues, and has he never heard of birth control??!! If I were you I would back off a little and try to gain some perspective on the whole situation before you end up being number 6.  I really dont mean to sound hateful, but girl, I really wish you would spend some more time thinking about this. 

 
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March 23, 2006, 10:45 pm CST

Body Image & Sex Appeal

 I find the majority of these posts very interesting, because I feel exactly the opposite of most women.  I am probably about 40 lbs overweight (although I must say I carry it fairly well, large breasted and all). I can only feel attractive if I am dressed, because I don't look to bad with clothes on, but I don't see why my boyfriend thinks I'm so attractive, but he does.  The funny thing is that the only time I am not worrying about how I look is when we are in bed.  Hey, leave the lights on!  I don't even think about how I look, I'm sure if I did our sex life wouldn't be nearly as incredible as it is.  So ladies, if your man wants the lights on, then it means he likes what he sees!  Get over it and let go!!! I guarantee It will be great!!! 
 
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April 13, 2006, 12:54 am CDT

Really?

I realize that this is a common phrase to use now, (kind of like when people say that they are waiting on line instead of in line), but this is a major pet peeve of mine.  I hope someone can tell me how are "WE" pregnant?  I mean you can say we are going to have a baby, but I'm sorry there is no WE to being pregnant.  I know men nowadays (some) want to be more involved with a pregnancy and that is great, but still we are not pregnant.  We all know if men had to carry a baby for 9 months that the population would cease to grow!
 
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August 3, 2006, 9:20 pm CDT

08/03 Teen Wake-Up Calls

You know I get real sick of people always blaming the parents of these kids.  First let me say that I am  a 34 year old single mother of an 18 year old daughter.  I can tell you from experience that my parents were good loving people that didn't raise me to have sex, drink and do drugs.  That was ALL on me.  Frankly they had no reason to even suspect I was doing any of these things, I did okay in school had decent friends that my parents knew and never got into any trouble (meaning I never got caught).  Kids (all people for that matter) are going to do what they want to do.  I raised a good daughter, she is by no means perfect, but she is an average kid.  Just dont be so quick to judge parents, it may come back to bite you on the ass.
 
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November 24, 2006, 10:54 pm CST

How Porn Has Affected Our Relationship

Quote From: kimikomine

When we believe only one way, catholic, buddist, athiest, black, white, yellow, muslim, we are in deep trouble. Separateness is what creates wars, keeps wars going. No one should have to explain to anyone their sexual preferences, religious beliefs, as long as it is being used for the good. Good thought. Good action. Good words.
So what you are saying is that isn't it a shame that a husband looks at porn or cheats on his wife, but if he start living a homosexual lifestyle, she should just get over it because that is the way he is?
 
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November 25, 2006, 6:12 pm CST

How Porn Has Affected Our Relationship

Quote From: stevepage

...you've just lost any credibility that you may have had. Homosexuality a choice??? Just another example of the Christian Right's blinkered, antiquated view of human sexuality that does far more harm than good.

Actually this was the post I wanted to reply to.  I don't see where the poster you were replying to said anything about homosexuality being a choice or not.  I thought they were referring to working thru problems in a marrige, whatever they may be. 

I also don't understand why someone with a Christian point of view is not credible, but every other point of view is perfectly acceptable, no matter how ludicrous.

 
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November 25, 2006, 6:13 pm CST

One more thing

There is a reason they call it the Christian "RIGHT"

 
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November 25, 2006, 11:58 pm CST

How Porn Has Affected Our Relationship

Quote From: kimikomine

Getting over something implies we are avoiding the obstacle and will probably have the same obstacle face us once again. But if we go through it, feel and experience it for all it is, when we do get to the other side, we will have experienced it completely so that when we are up against it again, the fear won't make us want to "run and get over it" but know that "we went through this once" and we now have the confidence and wisdom that makes it easier the next time.

 

Accepting porn, cheating, accepting homosexuality in our lives does not imply "we" accept it within ourselves but that we "accept" it as the way it is for others. It gives that person the freedom to be was they want to be and our controlling has no place in it. If we can love all beings, even our enemies, then our life will be a much more peaceful and useful. If we fight against the tide, we will drown, if we go with flow of it, it just might take us back home. But struggling never seems to be the way to go.

 

If a man starts living a homosexual lifestyle, or if he spends his time and money on porn, or if he cheats on his wife, who is really suffering? I know my husband looks at porn, every day if he could, I don't think he cheats on me with someone else, I do question his sexual preferences. But this is all relative. I am not here to figure out what or who he is or what or whom he sexually prefers to be with, in mind and in heart. I am here to figure out how I react to these things. My reaction of loss of control, anger, humility , rejections, hurts, these are things that even though his actions may have initially "pulled the rug from under me" I chose to stay under. By trying to figure him out, I lost touch with who I am and then that's when the real trouble begins.

 

Start with a moment by moment analysis of how "you" are feeling and grow to accept all sides. The ugly, the beautiful, the joyous, the depressed. The more you can accept you for who you are you will see that the actions of others, although they may hurt you and continue to pull the rug from you, you will have the confidence in youself that you will be ok, no matter what happens.

 

 

 

also does not mean

HUH?

I'm sorry, but I think some of the biggest problems in this world today are caused by giving people the freedom to be whatever they want to be and do whatever they want to do.  And I think that this "tide" is what is pulling this country under and we damn sure better fight it.

 

 
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November 27, 2006, 9:12 pm CST

11/27 The Dr. Phil House: Heroin Twins, The Intervention, Part 2

Quote From: jenn4489

You can not blame the mom for sleeping and her kids doing drugs, please come on seriously. If I blamed my parents for everything I did while they were sleeping, I'd get out of everything. Being a teenager in highschool, I do stuff in front of my parents & they don't realize it. Parents just want to think that their child wouldn't do that, and come to reality they do. And showing the tapes in school, it'd do nothing. They show us tapes all the time & my highschool is one of the biggest cocain/herion/meth abuse schools and I live in a super nice town with less then 20,000 people. It happens everywhere, it's never going to change, but don't blame the parents for what these girls did, they chose to do drugs. The parents didn't sit there with a needle & be like "hey inject your-self"

I have said the same thing.  I am 35 now with an 18 year old daughter i've raised by myself.  I know when I was a teenager I was doing things my parents knew nothing about, and I was home by 10pm.  I had loving parents who knew my friends and liked them.  Bad parents can have kids that turn out good and vice versa.  Like I said on another board, people are going to do what they want to do.  Just the other day my daughter and her friend were talking about things they used to get away with, and I was saying things I used to get away with (my mom was there too), when I had to tell my daughter to stop the story she was telling, I said its been 20 years since I've done these things, its too soon for you to spill your guts to me, you can still get in trouble!! :P haha

 

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