Messages By: lmsrepp

I hope that the guest that was on Dr. Phil's show that married the older man reads this. I too married a man 21 years older than I am. We have been married almost 10 years. I was 21 when I met him and he was 42...just like you. We have 2 wonderful daughters, 7 years old and 3 years old. We waited until I graduated from college to get married. We were both working professionals for a few years. He is a Pharmacist and I was a Computer Programmer. WE made the decision that I should stay home with our first daughter when she was a year old. Since then, we have opened our own grocery store and phamacy. He works full time and I work part time to raise our kids. I'm sharing this all with you because I want you to realize you are not alone, and your relationship CAN work. I want to support you and let you know I am praying for you. I have never looked at my husband's age as a way of defining who he is. I married him because I love him. I think if you really start to look at who your husband is instead of his age you will see the reasons why you chose to marry him. I obviously don't know him, but from what I saw on the show, he's a sensitive, gentle man who is HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH YOU. Really look past the things that make you so different and embrace what you have in common, and the most important common denominator is your great kids. And remember, MANY younger fathers don't participate in helping with the kids either. That has nothing to do with his age, but it sounded like he is willing to change. Also, remember, EVERY marriage faces challenges. Yes there are times when our age difference comes into play, but life is unpredictable. What if you were in a car accident that immobilized you? Then YOU wouldn't be able to keep up with him. I'll bet he would be right there for you. In closing, be proud of who you married. I sensed some embarassment over your choice of marrying someone older than you. Look...he doesn't beat you; he doesn't drink/do drugs; he doesn't neglect or ignore you; he respects your opinion; he loves you unconditionally; he supports you emotionally; he provides for you. The list could go on and on. You have a lot to be proud of! Marriage isn't about having that "warm fuzzy" feeling all of the time. Sometimes it's about hanging in there in the tough times and praying for better times. This is a tough time. It CAN be better. Only you can make the decision about whether it's worth fighting for. I just hate to see you make that decision based on his age instead of who he is. Hang in there!

First of all, ask your doctor about getting him OFF that medication. Our 8 year old has ADHD, and we have been through several different medications looking for the one that works best for her. When she was on Adderall, she was up ALL NIGHT, EVERY NIGHT. Thank God it was summer time. My 13 year old niece was spending a couple of weeks with us and sharing a room with our daughter. She was the one that told us our daughter was up until 5 or 6 in the morning. Thank God or we may have never known. She was quiet and we were sleeping. But MAN after a few days that kid was GROUCHY! She became downright mean. We took her off the med and THAT night she slept for 14 hours. Poor little kid was wore out. Luckily now, she is on the right medication and gets a healthy night's sleep. Adderall is a "Ritalin cousin". It is an upper and some kids DO NOT tolerate it. Get your kid off that medication ASAP. Always talk to your pharmacist about medications. That is their specialty, and you don't need an appointment to ask them a question. Good luck to you:)