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Messages By: cassie2_5

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hopeful
January 27, 2006, 10:32 am CST

sad face

As I watched the show on Thursday I was so struck by Bridgett and how sad she looked.  I thought her face and her eyes especially were full of pain and she looked like she had given up.   A few time when I saw her smile, I was amazed at the light and beauty there.   I understand the pain you feel.  I too have seen it in the mirror.    Please know that there is hope out there and if you know God hang on to him.  If you do not, then  I pray you will soon.   My hubby works 55+ hrs a week and I too feel resentment.   I feel out of control and I often turn to bad habits like food and trying to present a nice home and a good face for the world.  My husband is hard to love and often yells and makes the house shake with slamming doors and fits of temper.  I applaud the courage you showed by going on the show.   I hope you find peace for yourself and your family.    
 
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February 10, 2006, 5:51 pm CST

COURAGE

As I watched the show today I felt so sorry for April and wanted to reach out to her.  I applaud the courage she showed and understood how she felt in a small way.   I suffered through anorexia during high school and into my twenties and still struggle with the issue of weight and healthy balance of food and exercise.  I think that April will be good and has made a huge step forward in battling this disease and it is a disease!  I am sure we only heard the horrible side of her ex husband and it is not easy to watch someone you love literally shrink and waste away.   But he is a coward and I hope when April is healed inside and out she finds a wonderful man that loves her and supports her.   It is a long journey but the rewards are worth it!!  Everyday I go to grocery store, make meals for my family and look at the weight I carry from children, I have to tell myself I am worth the love and that inside I am a beautiful women.  The package is not perfect but that is OK.   I was not and am not the typical anorexic.  For me I just want to fit into a perfect mold and I do not.  I am a work in progress still. 

 
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quiet
February 10, 2006, 5:57 pm CST

awful

Quote From: nasale

How are you doing now?  I hope that you get some emotional support too. Man, that guy is a straight up DOG!!!
That is awful.  How are you now?   I pray that you have the strength and the means to get out of that toxic house.  A friend or family member to help you emotionally and physically.   You need to know you deserve better than a loser like him.
 
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blank
February 10, 2006, 6:08 pm CST

get real

Quote From: alohapmom

April needs to stop playing the poor anorexic victim...who would be willing to put up with all that crap?  Jon realized after what a mistake marriage to this woman was, it's not his fault.  That's life.  So he called her to tell her he wanted a divorce while she was in the hospital, he could have chose a better time, but after all, she put herself there, not him.

Are you married?   Have you ever been sick?   Seriously what makes you think that he did not know what he was getting into?  He asked her to marry him and he knew she was sick a anorexic.    Honestly if that was you who had a disease be it cancer or anorexia or depression would you want  LOVED one to do that to you?    I agree that we did not hear her husbands side of the story truly.   And he lived her hell probably day in and day out.   But he is a coward and it appears he is in love with someone else.   He did not give his marrige half a chance and he took the easy way out 

  

 
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February 10, 2006, 6:13 pm CST

control

Quote From: clarabelle

 April is a controlling, abusive woman. Her husband has to work  until after midnight, gets home has to shower and then clean the bathroom to  her  specifications and then gets kicked out of bed by 5 a.m.  This relationship was all about  her,  she went on Dr. Phil today so she could exercise a little more control over John. She was supposedly hellbent on saving the marriage at the start of the show, but signed the divorce papers within  a few hours.   She had no intention on saving the marriage, she just wanted to  humiliate him.  Actually, I don' t blame him for leaving a message of the split on her voicemail. It was the only way he could do it with her controlling manners.   Her disease is not an excuse for mental, physical and emotional abuse that she inflicted upon her  husband.  I consider the forced sleep deprivation as physical abuse. If the tables were turned and John was a controlling, abusive alcoholic, no one would have blamed  April for ending the marriage, even  if  he was in rehab.

I find more fault with Brian in the second couple.  Dr Phil seemed  too concern with her marital affair  than what  I perceived as controlling abuse by Brian.  Just a few things mentioned in the broadcast: breaking a cell phone (that the lover gave her), tearing up the seperation papers,  trying to prevent her from leaving  during an argument, the children hiding under the kitchen table in fear. What have we not heard? Too me his angry outbursts are a symptom of something much more serious than her infedility. POssiblly, her infidelity is a result of  his controlling behavior.
I agree with you that she had or has control issues.  Duh she is anorexic, it is a control disorder.  Trying to control you weight as you lose control of everything else.   But  to leave a voicemail message on her cell while in the hospital?   Come on that is cowardly!   I am glad that the papers are signed and hope that April gets a new life and the help she is crying out for.
 
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February 13, 2006, 12:29 pm CST

empathy

Quote From: alohapmom

If I had a CURABLE disease, then I wouldn't have accepted the proposal in the first place and put someone else through my own hell until I got a hold on myself!  She told him that it would get better after marriage, and being that he is not a professional psychologist or doctor, he may have believed her.  It's not his fault that he is human and not fit to deal with this kind of drama.  It's NOT cancer or some other unavoidable disease, it's a disease that at a certain moment in your life, you decide that you will take that road or not.  You are not born destined to be vain which leads to anorexia. 
I understand you have not suffered with this disorder.  thk you for your points but I have been anorexic and still battle with my weight and self image.   Not all men and women that are anorxic are vain or controlling.   I just felt that April was crying out her hubby and he was not ever truly in love or was not equiped to deal with her emotional baggage.   Where is the love for April?  Not here :)  If she had a type of diesease like cancer or other mental issues, her ex still would have left her.  He is a coward.  
 
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confused
February 13, 2006, 6:54 pm CST

good looking and good for you

Quote From: ladybug11

hi!  well  i am 32 and still have not found the right man..     what i want in a man  is for him  too  look good, !  also  for him to be a Christian  and put god first and be  honest, caring, loving,  down to earth  person!!    the  main thing is for him to be a Christian  and go too church!!    i don't want a man  that drinks.     because i don't  drink or go too bars.    i  don't  care for  drinking, bars or partying!   its just not  me.   i did try all those things  in the past when i was  younger. but  i hated it.  also   i care what god thinks of me  not what others think of me..   its hard  too find a good  man!  most men  are  dogs!!   
You say you want a good guy, a Christian like yourself but the FIRST thing you say you want is for him to look good?!?  Look good how?  In Gods eyes your perfect mate might have no sense of fashion a lil over or under weight or a slight limp..........etc.   Better to look for a good man not always a good looking man.
 
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chillin'
February 23, 2006, 11:11 am CST

Help me cope

I am a stay at home mom with two boys aged 5 and 3.  I babysit M-F two boys aged 5 and 2.   I do not think spanking works or is necessary.   In fact I am not allowed to spank or lay a hand on my daycare kids!  I would be in such trouble with the parents.   That being said I am at a point where the fighting between the boys is escalating !!!!!!  I need help,  does anyone know good ways to disipline children that is effective and will have some peace in my house? 

I love these kids and timeouts are not working here.    Spanking is cruel. 

 
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February 23, 2006, 1:29 pm CST

thanks

Quote From: ladidyon

I meant to say I am 54.....don't want ya to look at my profile and call me a liar  LOL 

Thank you for advice.   The two yrs old are not my real problem it is the five yr olds.  And I do the separate thing for all of them.   Thankfully the lil ones do sleep in afternoon.  The five yr old I babysit does not sit for more than 15 mins at a time.  A movie is out question although they do enjoy 30 mins of gamecube.   Helps me get few mins down time.   As for the age you can say your 34 54 or 70 raising kids makes us feel young somedays and old the next.   Bless you for watching the grandkids.    Must be hard work.   Thank you for the advice I will try it.  
 
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February 26, 2006, 8:32 pm CST

finding a balance (trying)

This was a busy weekend.   My hubby did OT on Sat and I decided to take my 7 yr old niece for the weekend.   My youngest is def turning 3 and becoming a challenge to say the least.   I think this is payback for the easy going baby he was.  LOL  My five yr old is going thru the kindergarten attitude.  Luckily I was warned by friends this would happen.    How can they be so sweet and loving one min and then be embarrassed to kiss you hug you or even hold your hand the next????   I miss the Lil man that held my pinkie in the mall.   I need some more time to clean my house and pack for a trip in Lil over a week.    The kids art time reading time and cuddles are not leaving alot of time to keep up on house work.    But I think the kids will remember the laugh and fun time and hopefully forget the mess.      Maybe tomorrow I will get the dust bunnies out and the laundry done.  If I don't then we may just move!   lol   Spring cleaning looms.   I wish for a maid or maybe more hr in the day.   Yes I think this week I will clean the house, and get a handle on the things I must do and still laugh with my kids.   Finding a balance is the challenge. 

  

 

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