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February 2, 2006, 2:53 pm PST

Charles is a manipulator, but NOT a good one

This guy is a manipulator, but his arrogance makes him a poor one. The red flags go up as soon as he starts with the rationalizations and justifications, and general B.S. If he was a good one this message board would not be flashing red hot with "dump hims". Funny to watch him tackle the Doc.

The wife has been brainwashed, but thankfully not to the point that she will agree to his "have my cake and eat it" agenda. Here's excellent info on the tactics all manipulators use, if she has the energy to visit and read someday. Right now I would hope she uses her energy to ESCAPE, and take her boys with her so that they don't think it is ok to be like their father. Wow. I can't even imagine what it musta been like to be married to this "Charles" (I can't use the word I want to - they won't post it) for all those years. Missy Mistress is obviously equally under his spell, but ladies educate yourselves.

http://rickross.com/reference/brainwashing/brainwashing11.html

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lindsey35

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February 3, 2006, 4:43 pm PST

GOOD LUCK

Quote From: i_eat_crow

We are still together and we will weather the storm......stay tuned.....you will see remarkable results on future shows........people like you are sharing their experiences and emailing me at chas_eat_crow@yahoo.com. I am truly grateful to all of you that are sharing their own experiences and have actually been thru those insane times we were going thru.

I hope there will be an update. Charlie needs a regular diet of crow to keep that ego in check, but if he is willing I hope they make it. Most of all I hope this lady finds happiness, however the marriage turns out. Good luck to all those out there struggling in their marriages, but don't be afraid to go it alone if you are being emotionally or physically abused. It just is not worth it.

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lindsey35

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chillin'

February 4, 2006, 11:35 am PST

CHARLES HAS RESULTED IN A LOT MORE MEMBERS HERE!

Quote From: beanerwpg

Charles was the most arrogant piece of %$#@ I have ever seen. I didn't even care what the show was about anymore, I couldn't stand him! My God! Someone needs to get off the cross!!! I have never been so aggrevated by someone that I don't even know. I had to log into Dr. Phil's web site for the 1st time just so I could get this off my chest! What a jerk. Tracy should leave him, the other woman should leave, and his friends of the "Alpha Male" should tell where to go too!

I also was so flabbergasted by this man that I also had to join the discussion for the first time and logged on as a newbie to air my opinion. I wonder if Charlie gets the "biggest negative reaction award" since this show started?

I used to be married to a guy a lot like this. It's a nightmare. Narcissists are INCAPABLE of taking responsibility or seeing other peoples' point of view. It is ALL about them. They don't even bond with their own children. You could see the narcissistic rage when the Dr. Phil challenged him. He obviously has never watched the show because he thought he could bully the Dr Phil. with his "death stare". Soooo funny.

There is talk of the couple getting counselling, and I hope it works (I hate to see any marriage go down the tubes) but frankly I think what the guy needs is a personality transplant. They transplant faces now, but have not figured out how to do personalities. Watch this space.

PS: The Doc Rocks!

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lindsey35

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February 4, 2006, 12:22 pm PST

IS THIS REALLY THE GUY ON THE SHOW?

Quote From: i_eat_crow

Your husband is confused as I was......... his clock needs recalibration as mine has been........we taped the the show ages ago ..... you and every one else should be aware...there is hope....Tracy and i are recommitting ourselves to our family......your husband has an addiction as I did .............. I stated on the show "Why did I do this..?? Where is the remorse???....The answer is clear to me now........ it's a drug like attraction.....it's consumes men....it brings back times of fun & excitement....but during the time of infestation of being consumed with euphoria...the husband justifies his arrogance, his bullying, his existance with the other woman !!!!! Get back into counseling asap...... Try it again !!!! My diet consists of eating lots of CROW now...... My email address is chas_eat_crow@yahoo.com...... if he is willing I will talk to him personally and share my past mistake of abusing my wife and kids during the "FANTASY STAGE" of my actions. Good Luck

Wow, well if it is then there is hope for us all. The attitude shown in this post is a 360 degree turn around. You are a good advertisement for counselling if it is really you, and what you say is sincere. (If you are truly sincere then I take back everything I have posted up until now). Congratulations to you both, and God bless your family.

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lindsey35

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February 5, 2006, 11:38 am PST

"blessed be"?

Quote From: vendros

He he. No wonder you understand. Blessed be.

Wicca?

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lindsey35

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February 5, 2006, 4:24 pm PST

yes thank you

Quote From: elffie

Paganism. Wicca is a branch of Paganism as like Catholicism is a branch of Christianity. All Wiccans are Pagans, but not all Pagans are Wiccans. It's just a way to say, have a good day and may the God and Goddess bless you. I know this question wasn't towards myself, but I have been following the conversations on this board. I'm am not a poly, but am Pagan. Ventros is simply stating her own opinion, it does not go for all others. Hope this helps.

Yes thank you it helps me understand where these ladies are coming from. L

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lindsey35

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February 6, 2006, 9:16 am PST

I AM SO SORRY

Quote From: hmlagirl

Hello everyone;

Well I have in in a GREAT relationship for a year. We live together are are very much in love. Yesterday I accidentally ran across some e-mails that he send another woman. I knew that they were close friends, she live in another state and I was aware that they talked a lot and I was completely okay with their relationship. They knew each other before I came around and figured if they wanted each other it would have happened before me. Back to the e-mail... I though that I was in my e-mail account and I had to check my sent file. It ended up being his e-mail that he has left on the screen. I trusted him completely. I found e-mails that he sent to his woman and I wept when I read them. There were explicit sexual fantasies that even I have never done or even heard him talk about. There was also an e-mail saying that she is the first thing that he thinks about when she wakes up and that he dreams of her.

I went to school all day and he was at work. I could not even talk to him about it when I got home. He kept asking me what was wrong and I just couldn't say it. So we went to bed pretty much after I got home. He asked me what was wrong again this morning before he went to work. I told him what I found and he said that it is nothing and he husband does not give her what she needs so he just "puts a band-aide on a bitch" and doesn't think about it again. The sexual message that I was really talking about this morning he said that he wrote while playing a computer game. Did I mention that the e-mail contained links to different pictures of outfits and underwear that she would have on.

I am just so confused. We need to talk about it more. He really wanted to stay home today with me today bit had to go to work (that was not a lie). I love him so much and I can't even consider leaving him but this has been going on for months now and I am in disbelief. Please give me so advise.

Your post made me really sad. You must be so confused and unhappy. Your partner is a dishonest person I'm afraid (and you only together one year so far). This man is not a good candidate for long term commitment/marriage/fatherhood. The very first thing you need is to be able to trust someone before you commit. Please take this away from my post if nothing else and remember it.....he is lying to BOTH of you. Men like him (and women too) lie to cover up when caught. He is LYING to you. I would like to add that there a lot of very good quality loving men out there. Don't lose hope, but don't waste time trying to change this one either. Read the posts on this board .....some ladies have put up with people like yr partner for 40-50 years. What is it that the Doc always says "the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour". Don't waste yr life (or get pregnant with him!)>

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lindsey35

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February 6, 2006, 10:11 am PST

PS to my previous post

Quote From: lindsey35

Your post made me really sad. You must be so confused and unhappy. Your partner is a dishonest person I'm afraid (and you only together one year so far). This man is not a good candidate for long term commitment/marriage/fatherhood. The very first thing you need is to be able to trust someone before you commit. Please take this away from my post if nothing else and remember it.....he is lying to BOTH of you. Men like him (and women too) lie to cover up when caught. He is LYING to you. I would like to add that there a lot of very good quality loving men out there. Don't lose hope, but don't waste time trying to change this one either. Read the posts on this board .....some ladies have put up with people like yr partner for 40-50 years. What is it that the Doc always says "the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour". Don't waste yr life (or get pregnant with him!)>

I was thinking about yr situation while cleaning up. I had similar situation in my marriage. What I suggest is that you contact the other woman and tell her about the "bandaid on a bitch" remark. If she believes you (and lets hope she is smart enough to do so) then she may spill her guts and you guys can compare notes. If she doesn't believe you then so what? You have at least tried to inform her. EITHER WAY this man is a liar. I read somewhere that one lie can be passed off as a misunderstanding. Two lies you should start to be very suspicious. Three lies and you can accept that you are with a HABITUAL LIAR. I suspect if you honestly review in yr mind the last year with this man you will remember many lies, half truths, rationalizations (ie: BS excuses), "misunderstandings" .....search your memory. I bet you've been ignoring the "LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE" red flags? Don't be embarrassed. We all do it. (is that how you spell embarrassed?) Good luck, and get back to us!

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lindsey35

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February 6, 2006, 10:12 am PST

me also

Quote From: pat1345

I want to know where you get the energy, with 4 kids under 5??

That was also my first thought. Yikes.

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lindsey35

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February 6, 2006, 10:21 am PST

"bandaid on a bitch"

Quote From: lindsey35

Your post made me really sad. You must be so confused and unhappy. Your partner is a dishonest person I'm afraid (and you only together one year so far). This man is not a good candidate for long term commitment/marriage/fatherhood. The very first thing you need is to be able to trust someone before you commit. Please take this away from my post if nothing else and remember it.....he is lying to BOTH of you. Men like him (and women too) lie to cover up when caught. He is LYING to you. I would like to add that there a lot of very good quality loving men out there. Don't lose hope, but don't waste time trying to change this one either. Read the posts on this board .....some ladies have put up with people like yr partner for 40-50 years. What is it that the Doc always says "the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour". Don't waste yr life (or get pregnant with him!)>

Sorry, keep going off to do my work and thinking of something else to say! The fact that the expression "bandaid on a bitch" comes out of your partner's mouth is not good news. Shows disrespect for women (misogynist?) and it is also "minimization". Manipulators use minimization as one of their tactics to get out of trouble when they are caught in the act. Anything that conveys the message; it's no big deal/stop getting your knickers in a twist/why are you so upset about a LITTLE thing?/etc is a minimization. You end up feeling like you are being hysterical (watch out for THAT word coming out of his mouth in the next few days!) over nothing. Read "In Sheep's Clothing" by George K Simon PHd to learn their other tactics.....sounds like you need to understand how your partner operates so you can see what is going on clearly. I was dealing with an ex husband who has a Phd in manipulation. I learned the tactics by heart and when I deal with him I can name in my head which one he's trying to use on me. Your partner is a liar. Did I say that already? Ya. LIAR. Whether you want to spend yr life with a liar (and maybe have babies with one in the future) will be up to you. Good luck. I feel for you.

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Messages By: lindsey35

Charles is a manipulator, but NOT a good one

GOOD LUCK

CHARLES HAS RESULTED IN A LOT MORE MEMBERS HERE!

IS THIS REALLY THE GUY ON THE SHOW?

"blessed be"?

yes thank you

I AM SO SORRY

PS to my previous post

me also

"bandaid on a bitch"