Quote From: alison_32I am really annoyed with today's show, as I feel that Dr. Phil spent most of his time making a mockery of the exwife and her fiance' than advising them and/or pointing them in the right direction. Don't get me wrong, I love Dr. Phil and have the utmost respect for him. I record the show daily to avoid missing it, however, I am just really disappointed with the outcome of today's show.
First, I agree that the exwife is obviously still harboring pain from the divorce along with jealousy towards the exhusband's financial stability. There is obviously no question that some personal counselling is needed for her; specifically, in my opinion, some spiritual counselling to help her forgive her exhusband completely. The unforgiveness she holds inside is not hurting him, but is actually poisoning her entire body, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. If she could just seek some spiritual counsel on how to ask for God to teach her how to forgive him and the new wife, while understanding that forgiveness doesn't mean justifying the other's behavior, but releases her from that bondage completely and gives her inner peace, I believe it would benefit everyone in the situation;most importantly, the children involved.
I do, however, understand her frustration with the child support situation. Unfortunately, it is all too often a distorted belief on the behalf of the absent parent that when he/she pays their child support obligation, that he/she is in no way responsible to provide any further financial assistance outside of the court mandated amount. The fact is, child support is paid to the custodial parent specifically to financially assist him/her in providing the child with the basic necessities of living such as running water, food, shelter, clothing, proper hygiene, etc. When extra expenses come along, it is still the absent parent's responsibility to at least pay for half of those things such as the yearbook mentioned in today's program. Anyone who has children knows that extra expenses are always coming along such as school fees, sports fees, tutoring fees, extra curricular activity/attendance fees for school dances, football games, basketball games, field trip fees, etc. The child support paid out is not meant to cover those kinds of expenses. I feel that maybe she should have asked if her exhusband would be willing to split the cost of the yearbook with her rather than expecting him to pay the entire amount.
I feel that the exwife came back to the show to try to get some real help and advice this time because she felt she was not only wrongfully portrayed during her last appearance, but felt she was unable to get any type of support for her issues. She obviously felt there were too many things left unsaid and unresolved, hence, the notes she wrote on her hand in attempt to remember the things she wanted to get addressed. As for the dentist appointment, I really do not feel it was necessary to bring the issue up, as it just appeared to be an attempt to portray the exhusband to the viewers as an unreliable parent. I do feel, however, it is the responsibility of the absent parent to assist the custodial parent in taking the child to doctor visits of any kind.
At any rate, I will close this small book I have written (haha) by saying that there were far too many comedic approaches towards the exwife and her fiance' and not enough guidance on how to solve the issues at hand. Obviously, the root of the problem needs to be addressed, which is the pain and jealousy harbored by the exwife before anything else can be done. Next, a mediator needs to be involved to avoid anymore contact between the exspouses. Finally and most importantly, the children need to begin some counselling to help each of them overcome the trauma this entire mess has caused each of them. As for the exwife and her concerns about the exhusband's finances, I would just simply advise her to request a modification and/or investigation be done within the child support enforcement agency and if that doesn't work, I would request an audit be done on the exhusband's finances. I pray that God blesses each of these individuals with some kind of inner peace and provides each of them with the guidance to move forward and leave the past where it lies.
Alison, the only thing I agree with you about is that the ex needs counselling. Dr.Phil tried everything to try and make this woman understand that everything she was saying was not productive at all, and she said she understood what he was saying, but then she would start right back up with the "he said, she said game". There was no making her understand, and she will most likely continue this crazy behavior when they get home. No amount of counselling will make her stop. So don't blame Dr.Phil, that woman was making all of us watching the show have migraine headaches. She didn't want a solution to the problem, she just wanted a venue to rant and rave.
