|
November 20, 2005, 4:42 am PST
I think Becky's family needs to grow a pair.
If there is a social situation where her foul mouth will be a problem DON'T INVITE HER! She has to understand that there are some consequences for her attitudes. Of course you love her and want her to be a part of your life, but apparently she has no consideration whatsoever for other people's sensitivities if it does not affect her personally. If she is required to be polite to get a desired response (i.e. to land a job) she has stated she will be. She has stated that under many circumstances she can and will hold it in. Apparently she does not consider her family's comfort to be important enough for her to be willing to do so in their presence, but has this "If you love me you'll accept me for who I am and let me do what I want" attitude.
If you don't want the behavior, don't let her get away with it. Giving her "that look" isn't enough. It's like punishing a child by sending him to his room. . . with the gameboy, and the tv, etc. You have to give her consequences that are unpleasant enough for her that toning it down is less unpleasant than the alternative.
If someone asks you why your beloved family member isn't there for an important occasion, be blunt: you love her dearly and wish she could be there, but she has a potty mouth and no self control.
If you really can't bear to leave her out, then suck it up. Accept that she has control over you in this regard. Accept that she has no sympathy for people who aren't willing to put up the effort to upstage her, no concept that there are situations in which it is inappropriate to even try to upstage others, or that other people's feelings deserve respect.
People go through all kinds of embarrassments to have loved ones involved with social functions. The elderly father with incontinance and alzheimers. The autistic child who throws loud violent tantrums. The schizophrenic who spends the entire evening in a heated vocal argument with a punch bowl. These are conditions which the afflicted have little or no control over. Some folks will leave these loved ones at home, some will bring them everywhere, and some will pick and choose the situations. It doesn't mean these people are loved any less for their ailments. How do you want to view Becky? As a person who makes a choice to behave the way she does or a person with a disability which has to be accommodated for?
|