Messages By: astellhorn

I really can't believe that Matt is that ignorant,  I mean if you don't want to be a Dad then don't have sex!!!  You take a risk of having a child EVERY time you CHOOSE to have sex, even if you wear protection and she's on birth control.  He's old enough to know that and if he was so sure she couldn't get pregnant then why did he initaly wear a condom.  There is no garuntee that someone can't or won't get pregnant, no type of birth control, not even getting your tubes tied or getting a vasectomy, and definately a Doctor saying; sorry but you won't be able to have childern. Only God determines who will and won't be able to conceive.  I know this first hand.  My boyfriend and I had been together for 5yrs with not even a scare of pregnancy, and trust me I am VERY forgetful and wouldn't take my pill for weeks.  I finally said forget it and stoped taking it altogether because I was sure one of us couldn't have childern.  About 6 months later we learned that he had testicular cancer and needed to have one of his testicles removed.  We were told that he needed to bank sperm because he wouldn't be able to have childern.  We paid to bank sperm for a year for nothing, because we got pregnant less than a year after his surgery, and again with our second the following year.  So like I said Doctor's are not always right, they can only tell you what they believe medically, God will take care of the rest. 

It's very shocking to learn that you are pregnant after you've been told there's no chance of that happening, espesially if  she was also taking birth conrtol of other reasons.  Appearenly Matt is a selfish person and didn't think that maybe she wasn't quite ready to have kids either but here she is pregnant and since she made the desicion to have sex she is now taking care of the responsiability THEY created.  Not running from it and looking for any excuse not to be a responsible adult. 

Having a child is not easy to do and she is doing it all on her own...good for her!!!  She has to be a strong woman to be going through all this and still being there for her daughter.  The baby is who I feel for the most, she didn't ask for any of this and one day she most likely will see or hear about this whole situation, no matter how hard her mother tries to shield her from it.  They are much better without him around, he's the one missing out on the joy have having a child. 

I think fighting a war in the justice system over a mans rights is absurd. Women have more rights than men (in this situation) because if a woman gets pregnant unexpectly, and the man doesn't want to take responsibility, in the past, he didn't have to.  The laws were formed, as Dr. Phil pointed out, because there are men out there who want to have sex, unprotected or not, and not deal with the responsibilities. Why do you think the phrase "single mom" is so popular?  The woman didn't have a choice. So women have more rights. I'm not saying that makes it fair, but it also isn't fair when women are raped and have no option but to keep the baby. It is not fair that women  are (generally!) the main, or sole care givers for children. If's not fair when men and women both want to have sex, and the woman has to change her entire life for a child she was not prepared to care for instead of recieving help from the father. Parents should be made up of two people.  

I understand that it seems as though his rights as a man were violated, but as Dr. Phil pointed out, he could have used a condom. Yes, that isn't 100%, NO form of birth control is. The only 100% way to avoid pregnancy is abstanance. If he isn't willing to not have sex to aviod fatherhood, he has no right to fight this battle in court. What he should be fighting for is more forms of birth control for men. Why do women have all different forms of birth control (the pill, the patch, depo, the ring, iud,,, etc.)? Because  they wanted and they fought for them!