Messages By: cariefig

Quote From: moverley

Kelly will never make Grant happy. She can't. No matter what she does or how she does it, it will never make Grant happy. He will never appreciate her or how hard she works. She wants to make him happy. She tries. She also has children to raise, clean, educate, entertain, schedule, feed, etc. etc. She wants so badly to "make him happy". But only Grant can make himself happy. He is miserable inside himself and he is doing everything he can to bring Kelly down to his level of misery. He blames her failure to be a better wife for his own inner deamons. It is not her fault. I suspect that even if all the closets were orgainized, the house was like a photo from Decor magazine, the meals were gourmet and Kelly learned salsa, tango, two-step and swing, Grant would still find something to criticize and correct. Kelly obviously loves Grant and wants to be his perfect wife. She is being crushed by him. She is tolerating what I consider to be abuse, abuse, abuse. He will drag her down into depression and hopelessness. She will NEVER make him happy. Grant's ridiculous explanation for not wearing his wedding ring is insulting. He is not in love with his wife. He doesn't respect her, support her, appreciate her, consider her, defer to her, compromise with her or most importantly CHERISH her. That's why he doesn't wear his ring. If they both want to stay married and find a way into happiness, they will need serious marraige counseling. However, I think the most beneficial thing would be for Grant to get individual therapy. He is the problem, not Kelly. I know of what I speak. I am also a stay at home wife. I DO have a Decor perfect home, my closets are perfect, my furniture is "perfectly placed", I cook fabulous meals fashioned after the best New York City chefs, I keep myself in amazing shape and dress as sexy/elegant as my husband could possibly desire. I have also learned salsa, tango, swing and two-step. I was also taking a spanish class (because my husbands perfect wife would be bilingual). I left my books on the dining room table one too many times and that became an argument also. There I was, trying to become MORE perfect for him. But in doing so, I became less perfect by leaving my books out inbetween studying. Trust me. Being a perfect wife doesn't matter. It's not about Kelly. Grant needs to find his way through his need to control Kelly, their house and everything else in his life. Kelly probably doesn't criticize Grants performance at his job, tell him what to do and how to do it better. They have decided to have a "traditional" family structure. He should do his job, and let HER do hers. He is not her boss. Let her prioritize her MANY responsibilities the way she feels is best. Stop micro-managing her and let her be her best Kelly.

Quote From: groovy

I second this.  This is not just Matt & his $500 a month.  It's about Matt's child AND about the rights of future children.