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Messages By: ceceliags

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February 22, 2006, 1:13 pm CST

Not Your Job

Quote From: taryn12

 i feel like i have the same problem. i know im young but me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years now, and we plan on getting married after college. The problem is , his mom and stepdad. they hate me. they feel like im taking him away, and that they think im "to good" for him. They say they just want zach to be happy, but my question to them is, what makes them think he isnt happy? i dont understand, why they hate me. I havent gave them a reason to. Im nice to them, and ive done so much stuff for that family, like babysitting when they wanted to go out. Or making sure their kids get where they need to be, when they had other things to do. I just dont know what i can do to make them like me?
It's not your job to make them like you. Dear you can't "make" anyone like you. You are who you are and who God made you. You can't change that and shouldn't want to. You are marrying Zach not his parents, just remeber that. Love conquers all. If Zach loves you, the rest can be history or fall in to place. It's yours and Zach's choice.
 
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February 22, 2006, 1:22 pm CST

02/22 Wedding Wars

I can not believe this woman sits on nationwide tv and proclaims to be a christian! This is the most hypocritic person I've ever seen. What Bible does she read? I would like to know because the one I read tells me Love covers a multitude of sins, so she should think about loving her soon to be daughter in law, accept her for who she is and live (move) on. If she feels threaten it can only be because of her shortcomings in raising a son who can't make sound decisions. If she thinks she did do a good job in raising him, accept his decisions and love them both. Lady get a life, hobby or something.  

 
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February 22, 2006, 1:23 pm CST

Soul Searching

Quote From: steff313

Is her family invited to the wedding?
I wonder why he's cut you and his brothers off? Have you done any soul searching to maybe see Y?
 
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September 26, 2006, 9:09 pm CDT

Unhappily Married


I seem to be in a stale marriage. I have no feelings at all for my husband and rarely spend "quality" time with him. His job keeps him away from home 3 or 4 nights of the week and we communicate better over the phone than in person. I have no attraction for him and he can not stimulate me in conversation or sexually. I have grown so much since our marriage but he hasn't. I have outgrown him. But how do you leave such a sweet sweet soul. I often wonder why he's still with me. Sometimes I wish he would say enough I'm outta here or that he'd do something awful enough to make me leave. I know he loves me, but I just don't feel I can repriocate that love to him any more. I often wonder if I ever loved him. I hate to hurt him and I hate the reactions of friends who can't understand my side because he is the nicest, kindest soul around but seemingly not for me. What should I do?

 

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Unhappily Married

 
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December 1, 2006, 1:50 pm CST

Give them a break

Quote From: shmigelz

Im not a bad person but people who gain all this weight and then cry about it and always go why me, why me...

 

Im sorry but I dont feel sympathy for you people. Gaining the weight was all self induced. You all willingly choose to eat all the food you did.

 

Even the first woman of Dr.Phil today... I mean eating some pizza is one thing but eating 3 whole damn pizzas??? Gimmy a break here....

 

When I was in my early years like age 10 - 14 I wasnt fat but I wasnt skinny.... I did get bugged and picked on a little bit not alot but enough to bother me. BUT instead of feeling sorry for myself and crying about it, sitting on my bed and eating all day, I did something about it and took MY OWN LIFE and POWER back!

 

I started working out, going to the gym, eating better. I did it and researched it all on my own. No one helped me one damn bit. I didnt have to go on any talk show and cry or ask for help! I knew what I wanted and went and got it, like I said all on my own!!

 

So for anyone whos out there, over weight and crying abou their weight.. Do something about it!

 

IF IT WAS EASY EVERYONE WOULD BE DOING IT! But its not easy! It wont happen over night either. You gotta commit yourself long term, and be completely 100% dedicated or dont even bother......

 

The reality is. If you want your life back  you can get it but you gotta want it. Don't just sit there cry and whine about it and ask 'Why me, Why me!"

 

End of story.

Dear allow me to just comment quickly. Obviously you are not aware that addiction is a disease and it can come in any form. Now a disease is not something you can just  "do something about it". Mind you I am not an obese person at all, but I am a human service professional. So just as drugs can be an addiction so can eating. Their are certain neurons in the brain that fire toward certain pleasure centers. So give these people a break and just know that it takes professional help and a change of lifestyle to just "do something about it"! Just know NO ONE WOULD CHOOSE TO BE 3,4 OR 5 HUNDRED POUNDS, PLEASE.

 
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December 1, 2006, 2:01 pm CST

NO ROMANCE TEACHER

Quote From: njpman

I am kind of that guy right now. All I can say to you is that maybe you are holding on to things that skew your view of him. What do you mean by saying you have grown and he hasn't? Let him know how you feel. You might be surprised at what will change if he knows what is going on. He might realize you are upset, but not know what to do. If he is a nice as you say he is then I don't think he would let you down if you really give him a chance. If he is anything like me he just wants to know how to make you happy, and will do anything to make it happen. My wife who wants to leave has said some the same things you are saying. My wife says she doesn't want to hurt me and that I am such a great guy, but then choses not to even try to fix things. It breaks my heart. Just give it a real chance before you do anything rash.
If I can be honest I do think I married the wrong person for the wrong reasons at to early an age.  I had no idea what the true meaning of love or marriage was. I was 24 when we married. And he was someone who did what I wanted when I wanted and I thought that was what I wanted. But as I've grown and matured, I find that is the total opposite of what I desire in a man. I don't want someone who is that hen-pecked. I want a man who will make decisions, finalize things, ake care of business. He isn't that. And if I have to tell him how to make me happy, I don't feel like I need him, where's the element of surprise. I could tell anyone and they could do that. Now as for you and your wife I would say initiate a conversation addressing the issues you have concerns about (my husband can't even do that) and just truly try to find out what her interest and likes are and try to engage in them with conversation and participation. Become multi-dimensionally (my husband is just sports minded-he can't hold an intelligent conversation about anything but that). Hopes this helps and it's not too late for you.
 
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December 1, 2006, 2:15 pm CST

No help

Quote From: jaimie1974

You dont say how long you have been married, and you dont say if you have children together or not.

As another poster already mentioned- counseling could help you very much. I urge you to seek counseling together and also separate. If your husband doesnt want to go, you need to go alone anyway. Although, by the way you describe your husband, it sounds like he might be the type of man who would go. Perhaps he is just waiting for something to happen in life because he just doesnt know what else to do. Both of you deserve to be happy and fulfilled- whether you are together or not.

When you live your life according to how you think other people will react to you, you will never truly experience the deep joy in life that you deserve. Professional counseling can help you learn to overcome your fear of what others might think of you if your marriage ends. It will also be so helpful for you to learn how your life got to this point of unhappiness, so that you can move forward and experience the happiness that life holds for you. Best wishes!

Listen what I found is that years don't impress me and means anything. Do you know how many people have been married for 20,30,40 years and have been miserable for more than half that time? But for the record 10 year-no children. I was 24 when we married. And he was someone who did what I wanted when I wanted and I thought that was what I wanted. But as I've grown and matured, I find that is the total opposite of what I desire in a man. I don't want someone who is that hen-pecked. I want a man who will make decisions, finalize things, ake care of business. He isn't that. And if I have to tell him how to make me happy, I don't feel like I need him, where's the element of surprise. I could tell anyone and they could do that. Now as for you and your wife I would say initiate a conversation addressing the issues you have concerns about (my husband can't even do that) and just truly try to find out what her interest and likes are and try to engage in them with conversation and participation. Become multi-dimensionally (my husband is just sports minded-he can't hold an intelligent conversation about anything but that). Hopes this helps and it's not too late for you.
 
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December 1, 2006, 2:24 pm CST

What is love

Quote From: jaimie1974

He what?

You said that we have decided to take a break and he is going to pursue this other woman. The two of you are married; for him to pursue another woman, even with your permission, is still being unfaithful to you. Im curious to know why do you feel that this is all that you deserve? Why does he get to tell you how the rest of your life will go? You have a child to think about. Remember that you are the strongest female role model she will ever have, she is looking to you as an example. The decisions that you make, such as tolerating a cheating spouse, is teaching her this is normal, but in reality, there is nothing normal about a wife granting her husband permission to pursue another woman while she waits for him to come back. Have you thought about what you will do if/when he doesnt come back? You need to think about your future, and the future of your child. There are long term negative consequences for his irresponsible decisions.

Listen dear you need to do a self-analysis and find out who you really are and what you're capable of and what you are good enough to have. The only reason someone can walk in and out of our lives is because we allow them too. Ask yourself what kind of person I am to allow him to even say this to me, have I given up on myself. The best thing I can recommend for you right now is to get Dr. Smith's book "Lies at the Altar".  It  is awesome. And you will discover what "love" really is and how to love yourself. Please stay posted
 
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December 13, 2006, 8:11 pm CST

Don't allow the years to impress you!

Quote From: dtk7322

Well another weekend is here and he is spending it with his lover. Me & my son went up and confronted him last night and he chose her over us it hurt me more then anything else He just said I don't want to come home I will talk to you later and he let her call the cops on us then turned around and went back inside with her. I know I should move on but I'm devastated and just don't know what to do.He has been part of my life for 26 years and I can't believe he is doing this to us. HOw do I get thru this
Listen dear you need to do a self-analysis and find out who you really are and what you're capable of and what you are good enough to have. The only reason someone can walk in and out of our lives is because we allow them too. Ask yourself what kind of person I am to allow him to even say this to me, have I given up on myself. The best thing I can recommend for you right now is to get Dr. Smith's book "Lies at the Altar".  It  is awesome. And you will discover what "love" really is and how to love yourself. After 26 years you should know this. Don't allow your heart to over rule your head. Don't be bombarded by the years; out of those 26 how many were you really truly happy and satisfied. Please stay posted
 
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December 24, 2006, 1:36 pm CST

Hello

Quote From: kelseym127

I'm extremely obese and I can't seem to lose any weight. I'm a girl and I weight 119 pounds. I've been trying to lose weight for a few months, and I can't get anywhere below 119. No matter how much I try, nothing ever changes.

You failed to say what your age and height is. Depending on that 119 doesn't seem like a lot. If you are anywhere above 5 feet you're ok. Again, what is your desired weight goal?
 

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