Messages By: amychack79

Ok I have concealed my identity for this reason...I dont know if I am supposed to say anything about whats going on, but I wasnt told not to so here it goes. I am christy...yes the Christy on the show!  I have been reading the messages and have replied some.  But I want to say something...again...This is TV!  Some things are chopped up and edited, for example "her husband wont even kiss her because she is too heavy"  I may have given that impression when I said I dont know why my husband has a hard time kissing me and I think in my head that it is because I am heavy.  It is TV and it has to sell. I am not saying that it was all false a lot of things were said and I was and am hurt by much of it. But one of this things my husband and I have worked through since the show is that I have to forgive him fo rthings he said when he was drinking.  He used to get drunk all the time and 2 1/2 years ago he quite, praise God.  He also has said a lot out of frustration when we were arguing. This does not make it ok, but he knows that.  The reason both of us went on the show was because one, the fact that I am really heavy has now been affecting our marriage and the comments he has made trying to help.  When Michael feels bad about himself he wants to change it and he has in the past so in his mind (not right) he has thought if he comments about my weight like others did him when he lost weight before that he would help.  He has since learned it doesnt help and I am glad ot say he no longer brings up my weight to me.  He did at one point think I wasnt doing what I needed to, to lose weight and then he was off work for a few weeks for hurting his shoilder, after that he reaslized I do everything I can.  He then realized I have something wrong with me and was concerned.  The reason he and I went on the show was to see what I could do to heal from the things that were said that hurt in the past and also he wanted help to not see my weight and have it bother him.  He knows it shouldnt but being a man he has a human visual mind and struggles with it.  HE knows that.  We knew the risk of going on TV was that it might be scewed a little but it was worth it to both of us to get the help.  We tried to make sure he wouldnt be portrayed as some man who hounds me non stop and puts me down, because he doesnt do that.  Though he takes full responsability for saying horrible things to me that have hurt and has since realized that it isnt me that he is unhappy with it is himself.  He has since also told me that he is very happy with me and knows I am a beautiful woman and never doubted that, but he has something in him that makes him not content with anything.  This is just an outlet.  Not anymore I am happy to say he is dealing with it. I am working on getting my self esteem back as well, and it has helped to see him and why he has said many things.  I love him deeply and he loves me deeply and that is why I wont kick him to the curb.  IF you have any question on our situation please ask.  

also, about my weight issues. I am full aware of my weight and that I am fat.  I will never deny that. I hate it. I do so much to change it.  My history is unknown because I am adopted and so I dont know how women in my family were.  Dr phil knows all the history I know. I gave him pictures of every time period to show him I never was real obese I was not skinny. Iw as about a size 10-12.  I was very athletic.  I love sports.  When I was in college I gained so much weight I was about 300 lbs.  I take full responsability for that I ate like crap and didnt take care ofmyself.  But I decided to lose it. I had been friends with  michael and he knew me that heavy.  We had no intentions on dateing.  We actually set eachother up on dates.  I had began to lose weight and lost about 60 pounds when we decided that we should date because we had what eachother wanted on the inside.  We fell in love and by the time we got married I had lost 130lbs on lowering my carbs.  I wasnt finished with my weight loss when I became pregnant 6 months after we were married.  I didnt gain any of my weight untill I started lactation. Then it just piled on.  I have seen numerous doctors and tried all their diets and they all said I probably know more than them about weight loss.  One doctor told me that I should not be heavy there is no way not with how I eat and exercise.  the doctors have been passing the buck because non of them can figure it out.  When Dr phil asked us to do the show, he askedme to send a food journal and asked how much I exercise. I was very honest because if he could tell me even if i was doing something wrong I would love to hear it.  But from his homework he decided that there is something wrong and I have been seeing a doctor for it since. They are doing a ton of tests to figure it out.  I am so thankful for the shows help in this way and in the way of helping my husband to see what in himself is bothering him.  he has been going through Dr. Phils book self matters and so have I am, it is great. 

So in all this i say my husband is a good man, a great man who is strong enough to say I am consumed with image and I need help.