Messages By: simpson821

Hello everyone.  I need to know if I'm crazy or if there are other people who can relate to this.  I have two children, a 21 month old son and a 4 month old daughter.  Every since my son has been born, my mother in law only wants to spend time with him (and now his sister) when it's convenient for her.  My father in law however, is amazing with my kids.  I love when he spends time with them.  They adore him.  He is never too busy for them and cherishes every second he spends with them.   She on the other hand complains about everything they do.  When my daughter spits up on her, she goes nuts.  When  she drools, she's right there wiping her mouth every five seconds!  When my son gets dog hair on his clothes, she gets out the lint brush and rolls him clean.  She never let my husband get dirty as a child.  She also kept him on such a rigorous schedule that if he didn't eat at a certain time, she made him wait to eat until his next meal.  She gets mad when my son makes a mess when he's eating and she tries to feed him which makes him mad because he's very independent!  She gets mad at him when he doesn't want to sit still to eat his entire meal and won't let him even try to eat more of it until she's ready to sit down for the next meal!  He's used to eating small meals throughout the day, not a set three meals a day at a set time.   And what toddler sits down long enough to complete a meal!!!  She makes me in sain!   When he spends the night, she complains that he wakes her up in the middle of the night or that he gets her up too early.  To me, you should just cherish every second that you get to spend with your grandkids and not complain about them being kids!  It just seems to me that she only wants them when it's good for her.  When my father in law suggests that they can watch the kids, she gives him evil looks like it's such an ordeal for her to keep them.  A couple of weeks ago, they watched them so my husband and I could go out together.  Her comment before we left was "hurry up and go eat so you can get back and pick up your kids!"  Now they've called and guilted me into letting them keep my son for the day on Saturday and all I can do is feel frustrated by the fact that I feel that I have to let my child go over there with her for an entire day!  Plus, she always wants her mother to come down to see him and that freaks my son out because he has this phobia of old people.  She also gets mad because he's afraid of her large dog and her dog has to be put up and kept away from my son.  She makes comments about how he just has to get used to her dog.  Ughhh!!!  I always get cranky when I know he's going over there.   Why can't  I just shut up and let it go?  It bothers me and I worry about him all day.  I know they won't let anything happen to him, but she just doesn't let him be a kid.  Am I crazy?  Can anyone relate?  Should I just be glad they're wanting him this weekend?  Am I right to be annoyed that they only offered to keep my daughter if I "really needed a day to myself" ?  HELP ME!!!!!  I'm going crazy!!!

My son is now 21 month old.  I started timeouts with him when he was about the same age as your daughter.  I wasn't sure if it would work either.  It took a lot of consistency on my part, making sure that when he repeated whatever he wasn't supposed to do that I always made him take a timeout.  At first my son thought it was a game because he could still see us and he could still play with us while in his chair.  So we started turning the chair away from us and facing the wall.  We ignored his screams and his cries and hissy fits.  We also made it a rule that he can't get out of that chair unless mommy or daddy lets him get down.  After months of thinking this was never going to work, it was like a light came on in his head and he realized that a timeout was a bad thing and he didn't want to go to the bad boy chair.  Now he knows that when he does something he's not supposed to do that he is going to get a time out.  There's even been a few instances where I was busy with my daughter and didn't get to give him his time out but he knew he had been bad and gave himself a timeout and would wait patiently until we let him out of his chair.  It takes time, but it does work eventually.  Don't give up.  Consistency is the key.   It will eventually click!  Good luck!

Hi....the other day my husband and I were having a rather heated discussion on what he considers to be pornography.  I have a major problem with him looking at any form of nudity and I even have difficulty with some of the magazines such as Stuff, FHM, etc....I feel that sometimes the illusion that they create leaves very little to the imagination and that can be more of a turn on than nudity.  I asked if he considers pictures of naked girls to be pornography and he said no.  The only thing he considers to be porn is if they were actually engaging in sex.  Now, am I crazy to be upset that he does not see anything wrong with looking at other people nude?  To me if you are looking at someone else naked, it's a form of cheating because you aren't thinking about your spouse.  Am I crazy?  Are there others who feel this way?  Do I have a right to be hurt by this?  He knows how I feel about looking at that stuff and yet he still does.  I feel that this is total disrespect for my opinions and values and I'm very hurt by this.  I really need to know if I'm hurt and upset over nothing or if it's okay to feel this way.  Thanks.

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that this was a message board for things about children and parenting.  I'm sorry.  I posted this in the wrong group.  Would still like imput if anyone has anything to offer.  Thanks.