Messages By: killerb255

It's hard to say. 

Your best bet would be to talk to a therapist.  His ADHD may be comorbid with something else.  Bipolar disorder may be a possibility.   

A therapist would be good for him on another level.  Medication may help with helping the brain function better, but it doesn't teach him communication skills, problem solving skills, or overall social skills, which would overall help his self-confidence, self-respect, and self-esteem.   

I faced similar challenges growing up myself (high IQ, low social skills, labelled "gifted", low self-esteem, etc.).  However, my ADD diagnosis didn't come until recently...and I'm 26 years old.   

Interesting enough, some people with ADD/ADHD alone (that is, the ADD/ADHD is not comorbid with anything else) have depression and anxiety symptoms, although there is debate going on as to whether these are side effects of ADD/ADHD or if these are just ways to cope with the disorder.  Honestly, I think it's the latter.  The anxiety comes from being afraid of failing and the depression comes from the actual sensation of "failure".   

Yello_moon 

Your best bet would be to try to find a good therapist in your area.  It wouldn't be fair to you if any of us offered advice only to find that it didn't work.  It's great to have a support system of people who feel for you, though! :) 

I could offer a few suggestions as to what could be going on here, but they would simply be based on a psychology bookworm's point of view.  You need a qualified professional's expert opinion.   

I personally wouldn't rule out Bipolar II, Borderline Personality Disorder, or even Schizotypal Personality Disorder.  Google a few of those and see what you find, but don't forget, the Internet is no substitute for in-person professional advice.   

I'll try to be as graceful as possible with this: 

The C word is a derogatory term for the lower part of the female anatomy.  It ends with the letter T. 

Its equally as derogatory synonym starts with the letter P.   

I think the old saying is "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." 

When someone is in a position of power, they could easily abuse that power.  Police officers are granted rights that a normal civilian does not have, but need those rights in order to do their job.  However, if that officer never had power before and does not know how to use it responsibly, we end up with people like Jim.   

Perhaps all candidates from police academies should get thorough psychological analyses before graduating.  Those doing the analyses should be trained to recognize a wide variety of behavior disorders, which includes NPD and other Axis II disorders.   

Since we've touched on the subject of Narcissism in a few posts, we might as well cover Inverted Narcissism as well, since your sister, in this case, is the perfect example of an Inverted Narcissist, or an "Echo" (named after Echo, from the Greek myth about Narcissus, which Narcissism comes from).   

Inverted Narcissists are people who depend on the significant Narcissist in their lives for adulation, admiration, attention, etc., and don't know how to get that from anywhere else.  They share some things in common with the typical Narcissist: attention-seeking, selfishness, manipulativeness, etc.  We hear about it all the time: women who insist on staying with their abusive husbands, boyfriends, or whatnot.  Most, if not all, of these women suffer from some form of Inverted NPD.   

Your sister needs therapy.  Inverted Narcissists are as tough of a nut to crack as Narcissists: they believe that what they are doing is not a problem or are not signs of any kind of mental disorder.  They believe what they're doing is perfectly normal, or they're so comfortable with it that they just don't give a damn.   

My TiVo and I are waiting for the day that Dr. Phil does a show on NPD.  The problem is getting these types of guest on the show.  Then again, Jim was on the show... 

Have you talked to your father about this?   

When I was about 12, that's when I met my step-father.  He was anal--in fact, everything had to be done perfectly, or he would throw a fit.  It got to the point where my mother actually told him something like "I raised my children.  I didn't raise you.  I love you, but I didn't raise you.  I could divorce your ass."  Since then, he's been a lot more laid back.  I'm 26 now, and he's actually been more of a father to me than my real father had been.  My real father didn't keep his promises, said he would go to my sister's 8th grade graduation, and never showed up.  On his weekends for visitation rights, he backed out. 

In any case, your best bet would be to talk to your father.  Let him know how you perceive your step-mom is feeling about you.  Failing that, try talking to a guidance counselor at school.  Failing that, ask your father if you could speak to a counselor outside the school system.   

Nope.  It's a rerun: 

Original Air Date: 10/13/05) In a heartbeat, your entire life can change. No one knows this better than the families of Brandi and Daniel. Seventeen-year-old Brandi was a cheerleader, an excellent student and an all-American girl. She was in love with athletic 18-year old Daniel. Now he’s dead and she finds herself behind bars serving a 12-year sentence, all because of what happened in just a split second. Was it murder or simply a horrific accident? Hear members of both families describe how the tragedy unfolded, and the struggle to put together the pieces of their shattered lives. Plus, Dr. Phil visits Brandi in prison to ask some very hard questions. She has an emotional message for Daniel's mother -- and for Daniel. Talk about the show here. 

First off, let me say that I am not going to pretend to know how it feels to be an alcoholic.   

I do know, however, that alcohol can be used as a form of self-medication.   

When babies are born, they cry when they want something.  They don't know what they want (they don't know how to conceptualize wants and needs yet), but all they know is that they want it and they want it now.  It can be food, it could be a new diaper, it could be love.   

To a lesser extent, this type of thing happens to everyone.  As adults, we end up stressed out for things that we can't conceptualize.  Often, it's a sign that there might be something wrong, perhaps neurogically, and that we have no clue what that is.  We want a fix and we want it now.  Alcohol is often the "solution" used for this.  Hence the term "self-medication": you medicate yourself to fix the hidden problem(s).   

Some of these hidden problems could be depression, bipolar disorder, AD(H)D, or a personality disorder.   

I've never been to a rehab center, but I wonder if someone could shed some light on this: do some rehab centers have programs for those types of disorders as well?  I would think (and I could be wrong) that as long as mood or personality disorders are a problem in such an individual's life, there's always the possibility of relapse.