Messages By: teachwr38

 30 years ago, I was diagnosed with Craniopharyngioma, a brain tumor.  Back in the 70's, this was a very rare tumor for children.  I was 8.  Today, my life has always been about achievements, and things I have "overcome."  I have a hard time just living for life's sake without the fears of what still might happen.  I was never supposed to pass the 10th grade.  I was supposed to be in a nursing home by age 21, and dead by age 24.  My entire teenage years were lived in fear.  I always lived for the accomplishement.  I want to just live to live, and let go of my past.  A lot happened to my body due to the surgery and damage, and I will always live with that.  I just do not know how to let go of 30 year old fears, nor how to move on.

 Thank you for sharing a small part of you, that really made big sense.  To look at me you could not tell I had a brain tumor and surgeries.  The scards are covered mostly by my hair.  I just appreciate you taking time to share you, in hopes of helping me feel better.  God Bless.

Wayne

Oh my goodness!  I'm a teacher and misspelled scars???  What's wrong with me.... okay, just kidding.

 Dr. Phil and Robin:  30 years ago this month, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor called Craniopharyngioma.  Since that day, I have always lived life based upon what I was never supposed to do.  I was never supposed to pass the tenth grade in high school.  I was supposed to be in a nursing home by 21 and even dead by 24.  My first great achievement was graduating from high school at age 18.  My second great accomplishment was graduating from college at age 33.  Today, I'm a Special Education teacher.  Yet I still live with the same fears I developed as a child.  My dreams are to have financial security, which is coming, to have a family, which I may never have.  I live every day looking for the next  "Great Accomplishment" and struggle to live today just for today.  How do I drop the baggage of my past, and become open to the possibilities of the future?  How can I stop living in fear of what I might never do? 

 14 months ago, I weighed 362 pounds.  I was huge, bigger than I have ever been.  My little brother has always been thin.  I have always been envious of him until I realized it was more important that I live healthy than look good.  As of yesterday, I weigh 260.  I feel better, and I look better too.  I started dressing nicer, tucking in my shirt and feeling really good about how I look.  Yet, there remains a small part of me that says being healthy is not enough. 

Looking good is supposed to equal feeling good about yourself.  I think lacking in the self-esteem area keeps me (or anyone) from feeling good about myself.  It's like I walk around with society's measuring stick and am not successful in the looks department until I measure up to it.  Being single puts me in situations where looking good is key, and being healthy is a sub-par value as long as I'm becoming better looking. 

After all of that, I look back and come to a realization that I wouldn't be doing the job I'm doing, having the close friends and familial relationships I have if it weren't for something on the inside.  If all of my friends and family based their reasons for being my friend, or for having such a close relationship with someone in my family, then I'd be alone or lonely or both. 

For one thing, I'm a patient person.  I'm a Special Education teacher and that takes tons of patience.  I'm a very kind and understanding person at heart.  I have a general want to help take care of people whether they are sick or not.  I pray for everybody and for everything in that respect.  I have these qualities that make for a good person.  So why do I (or anyone else) still base success on how good we look?  Maybe, just maybe I need to continue looking deeper until I find the unsee-able features that make me a good person, that make me successful. 

I loved what Jay did on Tuesday's show.  Some how, some way, society is going to have to change its view on what makes a person successful, and/or what makes a person good.  I cannot imagine my own parents fighting against me, when society is doing such a good job already.  I am fortunate to have two blessed and wonderful parents.  Have a blessed Thursday all.

 Furious:

I think the mom's ought to be taken away from the children.  Why tear up the children's home when it's the mother's issues?  I thought very highly of Victoria as well.  I have scars from my waist up from multiple surgeries: brain, ruptured appendix, ventrical shunt, kidney bags, etc.  I spent most of my childhood wearing t-shirts over my chest and stomach for fear of how bad I looked.  Fortunately, my mother was always supportive and assistive in this need for me.  Today, I have two nephews, 1 neice, and 6 second cousins all age 17 and younger.  My parents own a swimming pool and they love it when I come over and go swimming.  Today, that happens shirt off. 

I'm a special education teacher and see the visual challenges that my students face just from being seen in public.  Yet, they are constantly reminded how special they are and how much I love and enjoy working with them.  They are amazing.  Funny how kids learn to love their inner self/child when they have parents/adults who remind them how gorgious they are just for being a child of God. 

My only question to your wonderful post would be this: What does being married have to do with being great?  I'm a single 38 year old guy, who loves just being the best uncle he can be.  No, I didn't take that wrong, just was curious as to how you meant it.  Thanks for the post and your time.

Spec. Ed. Teach in Texas