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Messages By: amillman

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May 13, 2006, 7:30 pm PDT

Debt

Quote From: cymbeline

My ex-husband and I split up six years ago.  He left me and his only child who was 18 months old at the time.  Since then we havent seen hide nor hair of him until recently, when he got my number from my mom and called here to complain that the state was going to put him in jail for never EVER paying ch ild support.  Anyway, while we were married, he got into some trouble with the IRS and had to file a few years back taxes.  His attorney advised him to file jointly with me.  I trusted him but apparently the only reason he had married me was so that I could pay off what turned out to be $60,000.00 worth of back taxes, some of which was accrued before I met him!  And he doesn't pay child support either.  Sweet deal eh?  Anyway I thought they had resolved the issue because I have received my earned income to help support our child in the past but Friday I got a letter saying they were going to offset my tax refund for a prior debt to them.  The thought of me working my butt off as a single mother scraping in 10K a year and then paying my earned income tax refund to repay his debt just feel.. I just feel violated.  All of the income represented during those years was HIS and I had NO access to any financial information at all.  When Jack wanted to leave he would drain his bank account, which was in his name only, and leave us high and dry.  I was not allowed to read the tax papers and he threatened to throw me and the kids out into the street if I didn't sign it, so I did and it is a decision I will regret forever.  With that kind of debt, how will I ever remarry?  Nobody is going to marry that.  I may as well just forget it.

You need to get in and see a lawyer or financial tax accountant...they can help you fight that debt.  My hubby owes from before I met him and we've married since then but there is an innocent spouse paperwork you can submit.  I work for a tax accountant and I'm a bookkeeper.  GO SEE SOMEONE....If you're in WAsington state email me and I'll give you some names.  Paying them for a few calls and letters will be a heck of alot cheaper!  If he incurred the debt before you you shoudn't have to pay it off. 

  

AJ 

 
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June 17, 2006, 10:08 pm PDT

Throw it ou

Quote From: mvngfwd

My sister and I have been embarrassed for most of our lives about our parent's in ability to use a trashcan.  The junk in my parent's house has reached the point to where you ablsolutely can not move or even find a place to sit.  I recently went to their house to try and help them move forward and at least get the house to where possum will not be running around in the attic and falling through the ceiling.  There were numerous bags of beercans which they had collected for years thinking they were worth money, I threw them out onto the trashpile that was surprizingly large considdering but my mother would take them off with a degree of violence that was just disturbing.  Her dementia has become extreemly bad over the past few years and I realize that as my parents age, they will not be able to help their situation only to fall into financial ruin in a pile of junk garnished with vermin.  When they tell me that something has sentimental value I try to get them to treat it as though it realy does mean something, but htey just don't get it.  altough they say they want to move forward and create a good living environment, they will not let go.  One thing they do not understand is just because something was good once upon a time,  it is not good after it sits in the back yard and deteriorates and rusts.  There aren't enogh words to describe how bad their house has become but it is worse than any house I have seen on any "hoarding" tv show.  I guess they would feel as uncomfortable in a clean environment is I do in theirs but as they age, it has become a danger to them.  The thing is, as much as the hoarding is a problem they also have the problem of extreem laziness.  The only thing they are proactive on is blame, and we all know how effective blame can be!  After being told for years that the condition of the house was my fault, I moved far enough away to where they could not hold me responsible.  What I find simply amazing is the list of excuses they have come up  with since then.  I know that it is wrong to try to "fix" the situation as it will only pile up again after I clean it up but I can not ignore it either. 
My in laws are the same way and are in their 70's.  I am always afraid they wont be able to get out of the house if it catches fire or medics won't be able to get to them to help them in a medical emergency. My father in law just had open heart surgery so we want to make sure he's in a safe environment.  My husband finally told them what we were doing.  We're going to put a smaller house on the property (they own 5 acres) and move to it..we'll clean the house out and renovate it and live in it and make the mortgage payments.  They've always helped us so we want to help them.  His mom is very mixed on it...I thinks he's afraid of the change but also is happy we're taking over and dealing with it.  She will once again get to have people in. We're going to monitor the new house too...they should be comfortable and have less work to deal with so we hope it works out and makes their lives less stressful.
 
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June 17, 2006, 10:11 pm PDT

Getting help

Quote From: burrwright

I have a cousin who is a hoarder.  Her house, van and car is so full of stuff she can't hardly move around in it.  Her house is so full that you have to hold on to the wall or whatever is stable to move in her house.  Her bed is so full she can't even make her bed or sleep comfortably.  She owns stuff that she will never use and stuff she doesn't even know she has bought.  My mother even tried to offer to help her get help for her disease.  It is too the point that she has bad knees, back and complains she is tired all the time.  We know it is being caused by her living conditions because she can't move around properly.  What really is scary.  If her house was to ever catch on fire she won't be able to get out.  Nor could we let a fire crew go in because of the safety factors.  I personally feel sorry for these kind of people who think that all coupons, sales, yard sales, and 2nd hand stores are just a place to shop at least 3 to 5 times a week.  It isn't a healthy way of living menatally or physically.  

   

Can't someone in the county or city help by requiring her to fix the fire hazard??? I know its dramatic but no one should die due to this.  Maybe it would motivate her to get some help???   

  

  

 
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October 26, 2006, 11:25 pm PDT

Father not there

Quote From: ingdshands

 Dr. Phil had the oldest child on, I am guessing, to defend her mother and father in a dispute with her Aunt and Uncle. No father, not even by telephone. Hmmm. Where do you think the daughter's aliance will stand? C'mon Dr. Phil ! I know that you have been taught to believe the authorities in whatever position they hold as most of America does; but I can tell you from a personal perspective that Children's Services in the town I live in is a complete joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I stood in a court room not long ago and said with many different adjectives this very thing. My grandson has been being abused since he was 3 months old. The first 2 months he was in a foster home. Mom and her side are doing the abuse. Mom's Uncle is a convicted sexual offender and the Children's Services chose to allow my grandson and his 14 month older half sister to live in the upstairs half of a double that the sex offender owned. I could go on and on but the point here is that the mother of my grandson has lived a life of abuse herself and doesn't even think that what is happening to her now 4 children is abusive. She is only 22 yrs. old and all of the children have a different father.

The girl is not by any means going to rat out her parents.

Is the Aunt and Uncle up to no good? I think that the Aunt believes that she is doing what she feels is right. I'd like to watch the father under a series of questions and then I could see clearer about what is going on behind closed doors.

Personally I find nothing wrong with the dad not SHOWING his face to the world especially if he was inncent.  I think life has been hell for them and living in a small town I'm sure he's very self conscious as it is.  To many things don't fit...and the daughter was so well mannered and mature..but not in a bad way for her age.  I really question this situation. I don't see 7 kids being able to lie well and/or act natural if they were lieing.  I think the biggest thing for me is her going after her sister for fraud which was unfounded and now is going after her for hacking her email account???  Sorry but its going in a direction that suggests other issues here.  If my sister was abusing my three nieces...I'd be 100% focused on those girls and finding a way to protect them.  That would be calling authorties and doing what I had to do.  I would NEVER EVER send any email to those kids or discuss it in the way she did.....they are kids ...why is she doing that to them.  They are goingto get stressed out thinking they will lose thier home, friends and family.  Her letter to the DA or whoever it was for...it also sparked an issue other than her family well being.  None of those things fit with the situation.  They look more like someone out to get someone in any manner necessary.

 

AJ

 
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October 26, 2006, 11:44 pm PDT

Porn

Quote From: rianashley

Christie seems very angry but  there is something  also troubling me with Christie's sister's story too. Why would she leave her husband if she did not for have some small reason also believe her husband was looking at child porn? Somethings not adding up.

Some people in this country are very adamant about porn...no matter what it is or if its soft or hard core.  Maybe it was hard core adult porn?  Maybe it was a fetish.  Just because she felt compelled to leave doesnt EVEN suggest it was kiddie porn.  Everyone has a level they feel is appropriate.  I may not be bothered if my husband looks at porn occasionally but someone else might be.  I might be okay with playboy pics but not movies.  So I dont find anything odd about her leaving...she also probably had encouragement from her sister.
 
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October 27, 2006, 12:09 am PDT

Unreal

Quote From: afraid

just going to jail is too damn good for any one who will take peoples money and run leaving them out in the streets, wow talk about a greedy heart damn, if i had a way there and the materals to work with i would go and help every one i could i am a brick layer, and all my help will cose any one of these people is a hot meal at night and a place to rest my head and wash me ars,

It almost gives an excellent argument to wiping out scumbags.   I'm so sick and tired of people that are such low lifes, would feel okay about  feeding  off others at the worst time in their lives and actually live with themselves.  I don't know if I could convict someone for taking the scumbags out to the as we say, to the back 40 and putting that bullet in them.  Its a terrible way to feel but how much is enough?  Nothing is stopping these people.  They dont care if they go to jail.  They don't care about people, our economy, our country or humanity.  They sure wouldnt hesitate to take me out.  You read about it all the  time. They go after the weak. They just live their destructive lives and breed more of the same to carry on. Few of their offspring have a fair chance in the world because they don't know anything else so the next generation begins.  I remember growing up I thought all adults did the right thing.  I am sadly misguided.  I think most of us are decent people.  I'm not perfect but I don't think my actions have every hurt another and I sure have never taken something from someone without giving back in return...but we have that one group of people that does more harm than good.  I'm to the point where maybe the eye for an eye isn't so crazy.  3 strikes your out?  Civil rights? I'm sorry but I don't care about civil rights when you're hurting others.    I don't care if its fair.  It wasn't fair when they took and damaged someone elses life . There is no restitution and these people hurt never recover.

 
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December 12, 2007, 12:47 am PST

Plastic Surgery Nightmares

Quote From: sabres44

In all honesty....if I was to ever have plastic surgery (which I doubt very much I would do), having seen Dr. Adams on TV hosting a show based on plastic surgery, I would assume he was a competent, board certified surgeon, and probably would have been very trustworthy of him. Surgery of any kind comes with risks, but I will admit, just from watching him on TV alone, and hearing him speak of surgery and the risks, I probably wouldnt have researched his credentials as much as I would for my own neighborhood doctor. Shame on me! And good thing I love myself the way I am!

I think this show was totally wrong.  These were people that didn't investigate their dr or the office.  They obviously didn't know the risks or the types of scars they could end up with.  I had weight loss surgery and lost 232 lbs.  I've had many of these surgeries.  Some did well and some didn't.  its not an exact science.  Every one of them had issues that I was aware of before my surgery.    FOr the one tha had weight loss surgery, you realy didn't do your homework.  You have classic issues of people that have had these types of surgeries.  I've had my arms done.  Mine look about like yours...numbness is a risk.  As to the lady that kept opening up...I know someone that had that problem.  Its a risk.  She should know the risks before allowing someone to cut into your body.  As for location of the office...as long as they have the equipment etc...its very common now adays.  I also know many send patients to hotels to save them money.  I've had some very big surgeries and I spent barely any time in the hospital when I had them.  I spent most on my own in a hotel.  Maybe this dr has issues...but these were not really anything that would make me sure of it.  Its typical and every plastic surgeon deals with them.  I walked away from the show feeling like it was a bashing show and that these women wouldn't have been happy no matter what.  If you don't like scars then you shouldnt get surgery.  No one knows how they will heal till its done.  I'm sorry they didn't have good experiences but all my scars aren't perfect either.  Should I sue my dr also?   No...because I did my homework and knew what could happen.  I felt I could live with.

 

And anyone that has surgery with a surgeon they never met till 10 min before the surgery...you are crazy.

 
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December 12, 2007, 12:51 am PST

12/11 Plastic Surgery Nightmares

Quote From: irgoddes1

We as a society complain that "insurance companies" force people into "drive-thru" births, but really when it comes to spending our OWN dollars, it is amazing at how--ahem--"cost-conscious" we can become.  And to our own detrement!

 

I admit that I, like the first woman on the show, wanted to have multiple procedures done in one visit rather than separate ones and sought a surgeon who would do the combination surgery.  (Although it was only a tummy tuck and breast augmentation, not full body lift.)  I wanted to combine them for other reasons, such as less overall down-time because I have four children.  The combo doctor, however, required an overnight stay (and the subsequent cost) and it became not any more cost-effective to do the two procedures at once.  I was further convinced that having a break between the two procedures would aid in healing, so that is what I opted for.  But had someone sweet-talked me into some "buy-one, get one half off" deal, I am ashamed to say I would have probably thought about it.

 

I understand what the doctors were saying about the increasing availability of these procedures to people who cannot afford the additional adjustments--it is like "qualifying" for a huge mortgage, just being able to squeek out the payments, but not being able to afford to put in the lawn let alone landscape it!  Cosmetic procedures are not a "quick fix."  They are a step, a portion of lifestyle changes and additional upkeep to maintain any benefit.  They are not an investment--they are a luxury.  Investments have lasting dividends over time.  Without further allocation of resources (time or money) the benefits of the surgery or the overall effect will be lost over time.  Like it or not, it is the truth. 

 

How many women getting "discount" breast implants are told that these are not permanent fixtures--they are only figured to last a max of 10 years (maybe 14 if all goes well) but in most likelihood, they will need to be either removed replaced at some point down the line--especially if a 20 year old gets them.  Do they plan on how they are going to pay for the "next ones?"  This is something that is lacking in disclosure still, I think.

She had more than a body life...a body lift is the waist down...she also had her arms and thighs..she should never have had that done at once..it should have been broken up in to several surgeries.  Every surgeon is diferent in what they will do in one surgery.  She also had the dog ears which are common in legs and arms and the scars not being straight is something I was warned about.  Its hard when you are laying down for them to make it perfect.  They do draw all over you when you're standing but its only as a guide.  My arms aren't to bad but they are far from perfect.  But I decided the scar was better than arms so flabby I couldnt wear shirts with sleeves...they were to tight.
 
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December 12, 2007, 12:59 am PST

12/11 Plastic Surgery Nightmares

Quote From: butterfly777

MY NAME IS DAWN. I HAVE A PLASTIC SURGERY NIGHTMARE!! I HAD A GASTRIC BYPASS AND NEEDED TO HAVE A TUMMY TUCK/HERNIA REPAIR DUE TO THE EXTREME WEIGHT LOSS! MY SURGEON TOOK 17 LBS OF SKIN OFF ME!! I HAVE A SCAR FROM RIGHT UNDER MY BREAST AREA, DOWN TO JUST ABOVE MY PUBIC AREA AND HALF WAY AROUND MY BODY!! THE HOSPITAL WHERE I HAD THE SURGERY PERSONNEL WOULD COME INTO MY ROOM TALKING ON CELL PHONES AND WOULD HANG UP AND DEAL WITH MY WOUNDS WITHOUT GLOVING UP OR WASHING UP! THUS, I WAS GIVEN A DEADLY BACTERIA CALLED ACINETOBACTER WHICH IS A FORM OF THE FLESH EATING BACTERIA THAT LIVES ON CELL PHONES. BY THE 2ND WEEK AFTER MY SURGERY,I AHD TO GO BACK INTO SURGERY AND THEY HAD TO DO A DEBREAMENT AND IT HAD TO BE LEFT OPEN.I WAS THEN PUT ON A CENTRAL LINE AND HAD TO BE ON VERY HEAVY ANTIBIOTICS THROUGH IV 2X PER DAY! THESE ANTIBIOTICS ARE THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD KILL THE INFECTION AND I HAD TO HAVE WEEKLY BLOOD DRAWS DUE TO THE FACT IT'S VERY HEAVY AND IT CAN SHUT YOUR KIDNEYS AND LIVER DOWN.MY SURGEON TOOK THE CENTRAL LINE OUT TOO SOON AND IT TURNED INTO MRSA+ WHICH IS A WORSE FORM OF THE FLESH EATING BACTERIA.I WAS THEN PUT ON A PICLINE AND PUMPED FULL OF IV ANTIBIOTICS AGAIN!! THE SCARRING ON MY BEELY FINALLY HEALED AFTER A YEAR OR MORE. BUT NOW, I HAVE REOPENED AND IT'S BEEN MONTHS AND I HAVEN'T HEALED!! MY MRSA+ IS BACK AND I AM SCARRED TERRIBLY!! I WILL START GUSHING BLOOD FOR NO REASON!! I DON'T HAVE MONEY TO GO TO ANOTHER SURGEON TO GET FIXED UP!! I AM IN EXCRUTIATING PAIN THAT I TAKE VICODIN E.S. LIKE IT'S CANDY. MY DOCTOR GIVES ME A RUNNING PERSCRIPTION!!! PEOPLE,PLEASE DO YOUR HOMEWORK NOT JUST FOR THE DOCTOR YOU GET BUT ALSO ON THE HOSPITAL YOU WILL BE IN!! I ONLY REGRET ON MY HOSPITAL AND SURGEON CHOICE,BUT I HAD TO HAVE THE SURGERY!!

Which is why i've had my surgeries in Spain and Brazil. My hubby went to Mexico...and we have way better care than here. 

 

If someone comes in your room to take care of you and they don't wash hands etc...you NEED to speak up.  This is your health, your life...you have every right to be your own advocate and make sure you're getting good care.  If i had nurses come in on phones I'd ask for a supervisor or my dr.  That is not acceptable.

 

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