When I saw this show, it made me very upset that the mother of the boy who died became a victim of the prosecution's "Devil's Advocate" techniques. Face reality!! First of all, both of the teens involved were abusing each other in a stubborn, mental way to be in the predicament of a game of "chicken". He obviously thought she would stop the car, she thought he would jump out of the way. Yes, it was tragic, but she chose to leave him and he chose not to move. And how does it benefit you as a mother to hold onto all of this resentment and anger? You have a family who needs encouragement and positive motivation- not bitterness and self-justification for what was God's will. Yes, your son died, but you need to realize that every minute that girl is in prison, she is suffering too. People do dumb, ignorant things and one mistake doesn't have to ruin somebody's life just so you feel better out of your insecurity over your son being dead. He's in a better place anyway, she got years of misery ahead of her by being in prison, why are you causing yourself such grief? Why are you so hateful towards her parents? It's not their fault that the kids decided to play chicken, just like it's not your fault either. Quit playing the blame game and recognize that your son wouldn't want you to be such a vindictive person. Be better because of him, not worse because he's gone. Let go and forgive them both for what happened. I guarantee you'll feel a whole lot less guilty and burdened. You don't have to like them, you don't have to even be friends, but you need to let go because it will hurt you the same way that it's hurting her mother. And how would you feel as a mother if your son was the one who ran her daughter over and the roles were reversed? I can't imagine the hole in your life, but you're the one who can choose to fill it with love or fill it with hate.
To the cheerleader's mom- I know how it feels to have someone you love in prison, but it wasn't your fault they decided to play chicken. It's hard to accept that she's there and not able to do all of the things you and her wanted. But you should be proud of all of the things she is doing in prison for others and glad that she has become the woman she is now. I can see that she is a gift. Don't let what happened ruin your health. By being proactive and talking about what she goes through and went through you can change lives and save lives. You are stronger than the pain and you need to use that pain to grow and make a difference. Your daughter needs you and your family to succeed, no matter where she's at. People in prison are no different than people on the outside. The only difference is that the law is dealing with them. There is no justice in the justice system, in my opinion. And your daughter deserves to have you around when she does get out, so take care of yourself better and try not to use drugs unless it's necessary. You need to focus your energy on living healthy and being well for your family. The best thing you can do is focus on what you can do for your son and husband so they can cope with you. You are not alone and I know what it's like to go visit someone. I always tried to connect with the "family" that was there every week visiting by talking. It really helped me to help them sometimes by listening. It made my situation seem smaller and it made me feel better to just realize that there are worse things and made it easier to accept what we had to deal with.
Even now, I miss the "family" I was a part of for two years. Connecting with other people helped me to get through the time a lot easier. I have little kids, but if I didn't and I had the ability to be there every week, I would. Sometimes people just need a hug and to know others understand how it feels to have someone they love in prison. Giving of yourself makes a huge difference to you and to them. Make a difference and God bless you.
