Messages By: duckie7

I don't understand why people are saying there are no such things as chemical imbalances.  Certainly, we know that Parkinson's Disease is due to a lack of Dopamine (the inability to make it) because the area of the brain that makes Dopamine is almost non-existent in Parkinson's Disease when you look at it at autopsy.  We know that their symptoms improve by replacing the Dopamine with medications.  Yes, these medications have side effects, as do ALL medications.  And the decision to take them must be a consideration of risks versus benefits.   

    

We don't actually "measure" insulin in people, either, but we know there is a deficiency in diabetics because we look at their symptoms and test for the effects of insulin (blood sugar), and we know they improve when you give them insulin.  A lot of medical science is not based on actual measurement of deficiencies, because there is a limit to what our tests can do, but by making reasonable inferences of cause and effect with medication trials. 

  

So, if we know there can be a deficiency in neurotransmitters (like Dopamine) in certain patients, why is it hard to infer that there could be deficiencies in other neurotransmitters as well....deficiencies that cause depression and other psychiatric conditions?  We are still learning about depression. ( And we are behind in that research because it is so much more prevalent in women than men, that doctors for many years just thought it was just "crazy women" acting out and they didn't take it seriously.  We were supposed to "snap" out of it.  A little "deja vue", Tom Cruise?) 

  

If a doctor diagnoses depression, prescribes a certain medication and it works, then there is at least some evidence that it had balanced the very neurotransmitters that the medication affects.  There are going to be side effects, yes, and if the side effects are worse than the original problem, then you need to decide if it's worth it.  Personally, I deal with depression.  Taking anti-depressants got the suicide thoughts out of my head and gave my children a mother again and my husband a happy wife.  Without the medication, I COULDN'T exercise or eat right.  Now that I'm exercising and eating right, I only need a small dose of the medication.  Without the meds, I would be dead. 

  

I don't know why people in our society are so extreme.  There are very few things in life that are "never" or "always".  Are we overmedicating America?  Yes.  Are there instances where medication can be life-saving?  Yes.  I'm happy to even be here to read the posts about why I shouldn't take medication.  Ironic, huh? 

  

Tom Cruise said to Matt Lauer "You don't know the history of psychiatry.  I do."  Well, he doesn't know what it's like to have post-partum depression.  I do.  I guess that makes my opinion just as valid as his.  And remember, people, his knowledge of psychiatry is that which is taught in the writings of L. Ron Hubbard.  The creator of Scientology, the man who said psychiatry is evil, who criticized taking any medication, died with large amounts of anti-psychotics in his body.  Go figure. 

If you weren't made from man what were you made from??  

  

Well, let's see, I was conceived by a sperm and an egg just like any man was.  The only difference is that he got the Y chromosome and I didn't.  So....please don't be telling me what my role is based on a story in the Bible.  It is your choice to take every story in the Bible literally, not mine.  It is up to us to find out what God expects from us and use what gifts He gave us and know what our purpose is in life.   God made me a physician, I chose to listen to that and dedicate much of my life to that.  He also gave me a mother's heart and luckily led me to a husband who is my partner, and is as much of a cleaner, cooker and chauffer as I am.  I wish people wouldn't assume that their choices should be everyone else's.  You want to be a traditional wife?  Fine...I'm sure you'll then find a husband who agrees with you.  The key is finding the role that makes you feel happy, peaceful, fulfilled and that gives you a happy, content family. 

she understands that no home can function properly without the woman staying at home. 

 

No home?  NO home?  Have you been to my home to see how it functions?  You know what gets me?  It's that many of the "Christians" who quote the bible are using it to support their choice to stay at home, often going so far as to say that women "should" do this because the Bible says so.  What about the decisions we make through our everyday prayer?  I know in my heart that the Lord gave me the heart of a physician.  He gave me the compassion, the talent, the gift.  I choose to nurture that.  Do I need to work for the money?  Absolutely not.  But I feel that NOT working is NOT using the gifts he gave me.  My husband looks at me like I'm crazy when I ask him if he wants me to throw his things in the laundry with mine.  He never considered the fact that he can't do it himself.  They are his dirty clothes.   And I have two pre-teen sons that do their own laundry.  They get their own breakfast.  They feel good about themselves that they can do it.  They're proud of their strong, intelligent mom.  They know that if their mom needs to be away that their dad has everything under control.   Now who can tell me that I haven't given some young woman a GREAT husband in the future by raising boys like that????  None of my kids or my husband feel like I have put them second by not being at home all the time fulfilling their every need.  The world is a better place with my kids in it, and I will stand up for any woman who looks into her heart and does what fulfills her, not what others say she needs to do.  We need to discover what our purpose is on this earth.  If it's to stay at home and wash your husband's feet, I don't care.  And if it's to give our gifts to the world through a career, you shouldn't care.  The point is, find a husband who wants the same thing, and the rest will follow. 

My issue is with women who make the choice to work when they don't have to.    

  

I take it your definition of "have to" is merely financial need.  That's very narrow minded.  I "have to" give back what I can to the world with the gifts I was given.  That decision came to me through lots of prayer.  My children were raised by me and my husband, with the help of other adults who just piled even more love on top of them, and they are independent, secure kids who are proud of what their mother does.  My husband doesn't feel neglected, and he loves that he can also cut back on his hours to spend time with the kids because he has a wife who can share paying the mortgage. 

I've noticed that Diana has not yet responded to my posts about what constitutes "having" to work.  Perhaps she hasn't seen them.  I don't know.  I do not have to work because of financials.  My husband makes a great living.  However, I was given gifts and talents to make my mark in this world, and I choose to do that.  What that does is take the pressure off my husband to be the sole provider in this family, and allows him to feel free to work fewer hours so that HE has time with the kids.  The key is parental involvement, not just maternal involvement.  He would never consider not doing his laundry.  He got the clothes dirty in the first place.  If I have to be gone, I know the house is in perfectly good hands, and my kids don't worry that things won't be done because Dad is just as capable of running the house as Mom is.  My boys know how to do their own laundry, get their own breakfasts because it gives them a feeling of independence, and help out around the house.  They're going to make great husbands some day, I can tell you that, because they see that their father and mother are partners in everything.  If I cook, he does dishes.  If he cooks, I do dishes.  And we both pay the mortgage.  I'll put my household and my kids and marriage up against anybody's out there.  And even in my sweats and no makeup, my husband holds my face and tells me how sexy I am.  Woman can do it....they just need the right man to support her. 

You have some passionate beliefs on choices, and I have somepassionate beliefs on raising kids first. 

 

But that is your choice.  You said that your "issue" is with mothers who work when they don't "have" to.  Why would you waste your time having an "issue" with someone when you don't know what's in their hearts, what God has led them to do, and what they believe is best for their kids and their marriage?    Good for you for loving your lifestyle.  But you are being judgemental about others when you say you have an "issue" with them.   Why can't you just acknowlege that? 

I think women who "have" to work work more out of financial reasons.  

  

But I just told you that I "have" to work because it allows me to be the best person.....and, as a result, the best wife and mother......that I can be.  And I'm not the only one.  Yet you have an "issue" with that? 

I think it's better for the kids to have a parent stay home.  

  

I think it's better for both parents to be involved at home.   Sharing income earning so you can share the parenting and home duties allows Dad to be more involved.  If the Dad wants to do it as much as Mom does, of course.  My husband is on a field trip with our son tomorrow.  We share those duties. 

Who is with your kids while they're at work? 

 

Well, they don't work.  My husband and I do.  We have a wonderful nanny who's like a grandmother to them.  Just one more person to love them.   Now that my youngest is in school most of the day, she gets them off to school after I've put everything out the night before and I'm usually home by the time they get home.   

Girl, just go give your kids a kiss and know in your heart that what you're doing is best for your family.   That's what I'm going to do.  Good night.....I'm going to let this go, and perhaps you should, too.  Look at the bright side.  I save a lot on lipstick since I don't need to reapply it every night before my husband comes home.