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June 27, 2006, 5:45 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: skwirl

I lost 40 lbs, and I was sooooo self-concious, but that was waaaaay in my younger days, when I was insecure anyway. Even when I lost it, I was insecure. I am sooooo built funny too! I gotta buy like boys jeans! I soooooo hate shopping, can't find anything that fits right and when I do, they quit making it! So you think you're unlovable because of the way you are built? Look around girl! There are some really fugly people out there that have found their true love, so why would you think a little extra around the middle would keep you from finding it? YES!!!!! You are so right, this world is shallow. But if you wanna find a guy, then ya gotta do what ya gotta do to get what you want, and that includes changing things to please a man. NOT your personality,(unless you already know that you aren't being who you TRULY are), but there are things you can do to make yourself more desirable in a man's eyes. You soooo need to find a guy that's interested in cars! If you are so knowledgable and that is one of your passions, then that is where you need to look. Your independence is a virtue, and the right guy will recognize that. Don't say that no one will look past that because they will! You just haven't come across him yet is all. The more you do what you love, the less you will care, and the more apt you are to find your man. So can you work on my car? I think I love you...........

:)

The guys at the racetracks like big busted skinny blondes. Sorry don't fit that mold either. Some of them are obsessed with racing to the point they dont give the women the time of day. Some of them get intimidated by a woman who knows anything about it as well. The ones my age are arrogant at the track and haven't grown up yet-the older ones are too old. I'm not holding my breath. I go to car shows all the time, but all the men there have a bombshell by their side. I don't know. I think I have truly lost hope-I just don't feel comfortable anywhere. I am trying to get comfortable in this singleness since this is where it will be permanently.

I do see some of the so called fugly people, and I still don't know their secret. Maybe I should just settle for whatever I can get...

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kwindshawn

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June 27, 2006, 6:23 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: skwirl

Hell! Not many of us do fit that mold, so freaking what? You can't be something you're not, but that doesn't mean you are hopeless finding a guy that loves YOU!!! And ALL guys like big busted skinny blondes, so what? I think they look good too, but that doesn't mean I wanna marry one of 'em! You just gotta hold out for what you want and keep on keepin' on. If you give up then you will never find what you want. Would you really rather just give up? I don't think so, you are posting here for a reason, and that's because you are "TIRED OF BEING SINGLE". Right? And those fugly peoples secret is................THEY DIDN'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!! And if you settle for "whatever" then I am soooooo gonna b*tch slap you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get an attitude!!!!!!!!!!! Damn!!!!!!!!!!!! Is there nothing good about you other than you can work on cars? I find that really hard to believe. Don't make me come over there!!!!!!!

I'm nice, but doesn't seem to be enough. Guy at work still talks to me at work-always gets me whatever I need-boxes, coffee, whatever. Just doesn't speak with me outside of work. Any ideas on that business? Can't tell for sure if he's playing me or just not wanting a long term thing. I really don't understand where he is coming from or what his intentions are. Maybe just a casual thing? Who knows-may be the only option-been making the best of this-only prospect in years next to the guy I lost...

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kwindshawn

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June 27, 2006, 7:29 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: skwirl

He could just be being nice, and then again he could be interested and waiting for some kind of sign from you. Soooo doesn't sound like he's playing ANYTHING, just being a nice guy. Maybe you should just up and get HIM a cup of coffee some morning, check it out, see how he reacts. But even more important, are you attracted to him? Or just wondering if he's interested in you?

I did give him coffee today. he has been to my house. What I don't understand is the coming on kinda strong one minute but disappearing for a while. Outside of work, I don't hear from him much. This is just so different, i don't know how to react. I was kinda attracted at first, but now I am being cautious because I just don't know what he is up to. Part of me wants to stay at arm's length-if he's not really into me, I don't want to put myself out on the line to get stepped on. And why only at work? That I really don't understand. Maybe he doesn't want anything serious or even to chance it. There is so much to find out yet-one thing that bothers me is that I'm just not head over heels like the last one. I think that's my problem-I am trying to give him a chance, although at times, I don't feel he is interested-just being a gentleman. Any thoughts?

I am really stupid about these things anymore

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kwindshawn

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June 27, 2006, 7:33 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: ckennedy

Hey all! Have any of you read Dr. Phil's book " Love Smart " ? if so what did you think of it? I've always been used to guys showing interest in me not the other way around and honestly i have no where to even start. Any advice you could give on maybe getting out there and even meeting people would be great. Im a shy type and really dont hang myself out on a limb to get noticed. I always get " your like a sister to me" and "i don't want to ruin our friendship" so i've kinda lost my courage to even meet men. Makes me feel like im not quite "love worthy" lol ... anyway have a good evening all, hope to hear from someone soon ...

Sounds like my life quite a bit and my reactions-I am painfully shy which is why I am alone. The book has great suggestions, but I don't have the guts to get out there and be that aggressive. The few times I have done that, I have made a jack ass of myself, and no longer wish to do that. I am hoping someday to get the courage to go out and be more outgoing, but the fear of ridicule keeps me home. If I had some encouragement and help I think I may be able to beat this, but all my friends are hooked up which doesn't leave much time or inclination to go to singles' events. Hmmm

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kwindshawn

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June 28, 2006, 6:24 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: hobart7

Hi. I think your taking it slow this time around. Being hurt or what ever happened in the last relationship has you thinking more, and not just falling. As for him maybe he is thinking it's not going to work working in the same place or maybe he has been hurt? If your intereted in him, and he seems to be at some point just take it slow, and see where it goes. If this seems like a waste of time, and your gut will tell you go with the first thought you feel, and that will be the right choice. Hope this works out, and things are grand.

He is divorced, although I don't know the details of it. He is not very open about his life, but before I can really make a decision, I need to know a few things. One night when he was over it went a little too far, but really nothing has changed one way or the other as far as his level of interest in me. It was unintentional and I don't plan on repeating it. However he still goes out of his way at work to help me carry things, saves boxes for me, etc. He pulled a bunch of stuff people were pitching-good stuff, working lamps, furniture, etc-and brought it over to me. He also has saved a good quality 5 drawer filing cabinet that has nothing wrong with it, that our wasteful hospital is pitching, and I get it. He also is watching for a desk-these are good metal ones-and computer parts. I don't understand this behavior, unless maybe it's his culture. He's puerto rican, and I know nothing about their ways, although some of the things he does mirrors my native ancestors. So, I dont really know what to make of all this-is he being respectful, or is he interested? I am confused...

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kwindshawn

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June 28, 2006, 6:27 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: turkalurk

The humidity sucks in the Midwest!!!!!!! I work outside, and people think I'm crazy because I'd rather work in the Mojave than the humid midwest. It may be hotter in the dessert, but it feels better without the nasty, thick, sticky, steamy heat that you get with humidity.

Amen to that-I really want to go back west....

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kwindshawn

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June 28, 2006, 6:29 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: kwindshawn

He is divorced, although I don't know the details of it. He is not very open about his life, but before I can really make a decision, I need to know a few things. One night when he was over it went a little too far, but really nothing has changed one way or the other as far as his level of interest in me. It was unintentional and I don't plan on repeating it. However he still goes out of his way at work to help me carry things, saves boxes for me, etc. He pulled a bunch of stuff people were pitching-good stuff, working lamps, furniture, etc-and brought it over to me. He also has saved a good quality 5 drawer filing cabinet that has nothing wrong with it, that our wasteful hospital is pitching, and I get it. He also is watching for a desk-these are good metal ones-and computer parts. I don't understand this behavior, unless maybe it's his culture. He's puerto rican, and I know nothing about their ways, although some of the things he does mirrors my native ancestors. So, I dont really know what to make of all this-is he being respectful, or is he interested? I am confused...

I also have even distanced myself thinking he wasn't interested, and that was the time he called me on his way to the house with the furniture. When I break contact and then see him around some time later, he talks to me at length. Hmmmm

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kwindshawn

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June 29, 2006, 5:11 pm PDT

Maybe?

Quote From: hobart7

Hi. I am thinking he is into you a little. He may have been hurt or afraid of something ,and is warming up.Take it slow if he is what your looking for, and see where it goes, but don't fall ok. Be warm, but careful wit hyour heart. lots of luck.

He may be afraid, because really he has been trying to get my attention for a year now. He is friendly with everyone, but has made special attempts with me. I am going to take it very slow-I think he may have a few scars-he was in desert storm as well, laying in the trenches, trying to stay alive. So, it's ok. There is plenty of time-thanks for the advice.

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kwindshawn

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June 29, 2006, 5:15 pm PDT

divorces

Quote From: hobart7

Hi. I also feel I am not love worthy. Both my ex's were not good for me. Yeah I have been married twice now. I have thought that was enough, but the feelings of that special someone keeps filling my head with maybe there is one that will show mw (real) love. What is that anyway. Dose anyone really know what love is? Someone has told me that with two divorces they are not much intereted in that person. They must have done soething or maybe they are mean to there mates? I myself take pleasure in doing what I can to make her feel loved. maybe that is the problem huh? I do not believe in hurting my mate nor do i think it's ok for her to hurt me. I am a lover not a fighter. I except her for her, and do not think trying to change her to fit me better will make her be her. She is who she is, and as the relationship grows we/I/She will change to fill in the places that do change. That to me is a blessing from god that true love is in the heart! Randy

I don't think the number is an issue-at least with me it isn't. I know a woman who was married twice and both guys actually bedded other women-when she found out, she divorced them. I know she was true, so it can happen with women as well. Sometimes, people are just unlucky. my aunt has been through 4 marriages-she is single now, although she is a strong and opinionated woman-and bipolar-so that may have something to do with it. Even with all of that, she has a heart of gold if you can look past the hyperactivity-although when she is "up" she is quite entertaining!! You sound like a great guy-hang in there and like you told me, take your time.

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kwindshawn

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July 4, 2006, 5:47 am PDT

Gave it up

Haven't heard from my guy at work and haven't seen him either. I have decided to give it up-it is obvious he is not interested. It's ok, I have accepted it. Some days like today, I am okay with being alone, other days, it just sucks. Guess I'll wait and see what life has in store for me. Had a dream about my widowed friend last night. It was nice-he came over and things resumed where they left off. Maybe subconciously I'm not over him? A dangerous thought, since it will never be. I sometimes wish things had been different-if we had met before his lost wife, it would have been ideal. Not what I want, but guess I will stay alone until this issue is resolved. Sometimes things don't turn out the way we want, but it's for the best.

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Tired of Being Single

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divorces

Gave it up