Messages By: hopeless1

today i'm going through a so many different emotions and i'm not sure i'll get a reply now but tonight is my last night with my husband.  tomorrow he has to turn himself into authorities for committing a crime.  he was out on his own recognizance but was on probation and had rules to follow.  well...he choose not to follow them completely.  he has been smoking pot.  he has been doing this to "self-medicate" himself.  he is bi-polar and has been put on various medications that he has had allergic reactions to u name it.  then he's been having troubles sleeping and he's been going through different sleep meds to help that.  anyway...he hasn't been working a steady job so now that he has to surrender he's done nothing to set me and my daughter up.  on top of that i've had to spend money this week to fix my vehicle so nothing major goes wrong with it and he got his last unemployment check today...only for 1 wk instead of the usual 2.  tonight he says he needs to take out $120 for a money order to put into his commissary when he gets to prison.  i'm angry, sad, mad, frustrated, scared, alone.  i have a few friends that know about this but i can't fall on them completely.  that isn't fair to them.  but my closest friend of so many years i thought would be understanding and supportive...and i can't say she isnt' but...i owe her money and she wants to know when i'll get her paid. she knows that i'm going to be down to one income and he's done nothing to help us when this day came.  i haven't forgotten that i owe her money and my intentions r to pay her back but right now i'm worried about heat for the house, food for my daughter...i'm going to have my car repo'd and file backruptcy.  but back to my feelings tonight.  this is our last night together and i'm angry with him.  i'm mad that he didn't get jobs and put money away for us.  that he didn't do things around the house to help me with the cold weather or stuff that needs tended to.  he's asked me if i'll b there when he gets out.  right now i'm pissed that he asked that question.  how could he?  right now i want to ball him out instead of snuggle with him.  as u can see i could go on, and on.  i just need someone to talk to, listen, and give me advice.  i need to seek counseling.  i know that but unfortunately there is nothing free around here for that unless i have no income and i don't have the $70 to pay for a one time visit.  i need a friend...these next few days r going to be unbelieveable emotionally for me.

my question is...how do u move on from a relationship that ended suddenly?  how do u become happy being single?  i was involved w/ a man that had alot of baggage from the beginning of the relationship.  he was so much what i've always wanted in a man.  he painted a picture for me that was a future w/ him.  and then...his baggage got the best of him and we ended our relationship.  he said that he wanted to still call and see me but...i haven't heard from him since my birthday...and when i sent him a text message to call me the next day he never did.  our relationship was only 2 months long but it became serious very quickly.  and i've come to the point that all he said about caring about me and all that it was a lie.  y would someone do that?  how can someone be so evil to toy w/ someone else like that?  now i've been dealing w/ sadness and anger.  and i'm tired of hurting.  i want to move on and stop the pain.  but i just can't seem to do that.  i'm not over him or what he did.  but i want to move on.  can someone tell me how to move on and be content w/ being alone and happy?