Messages By: lillskr

Women get the lion's share of the choices in this issue because they get the lion's share of the concequences.  The day that a man can carry, deliver, and nurse the child, they can have all the choices they please!  

Sex is fun, and sex makes babies. If you are really opposed to having children, then you should not be having sex.   

Yes, women have alot of power. We put out or not. We abort or not. I understand how that can seem terribly unfair. But here's the flip side. We carry the baby. We loose bone and blood for them We sit up at night while they cry. We take lesser jobs so we can spend time with them.   

Men do none of these things. I have been in a situation where I was on the pill and got pregnant anyhow. I chose to keep my son, how could i not, the creator himself chose me to raise him. I was young and poor and had to take state health insurance (medicaid).   

To get the medicaide,  I had to tell who the father was, even though he didn't want anything to do with us. I know for a fact that he has a support order against him that he isn't paying.   

BUT THAT ISN"T THE POINT  

The point is what is best for the baby. I have a child, that fact alters my life permanetly, If the guy has to pay a little child support, then so be it. But if he was so opposed to being a father, he should have gotten himself fixed. Its a quick and easy operation done in an out patient setting.  

My son is in an abusive relationship, as well.  His first real girlfriend, who treated him like a god at first - he could do no wrong.  Her and her mother both thought so.  But she has a violent temper, and has hit him on many occassions, in the face as well as body. I remember he had a big bruise on his face, near his eye, and he had shrugged if off at the time.  It never occurred to me, then, that she would have hit him - but she did.  He won't hit back, but he uses his words to fight back.  They both get vicious with words over the internet, but my son is the one who is called the abuser.  She came over when I was out and my son was home alone (16 yrs) for a couple of hours.  He said they were talking, he was telling her about some movie he'd seen, she got angry and threw a CD at him, hitting him in the face.  He told her to get out, she wouldn't.  She yelled, hit and kicked.  He wouldn't fight back, but did yell at her, and eventually just shoved her out the door.  She stood on the porch, yelling, and hitting the thick, stained glass and lead insert in the front door - until she broke it in two places, completely caved it in.  And this is a small girl!  My son made up some story to cover for her about a drive by rock throwing, but it was obvious that it had been hit by a fist.  He covers for her all the time, partly I know cuz he's afraid of getting into trouble for having her over when parents aren't home, but it happens even when we know they're together.  Even when we're here with them.  She'll turn things around, distort them, to get attention.  If he's not doing exactly what she wants, behaving just so, she'll do something to provoke a fight, then twist what happens to make him look bad and her, the poor victim.  I know she just makes things up - and so does her mother (the girl even IM'd my son to apologize for her mother's lies in one of her threatening letters to me). They've broken up many times, this last time at his doing, and all she has to do is call, cry on his shoulder, say she's sorry, she loves him, she needs him, and he goes right back.  Any suggestions?  He's only 16 1/2, and this summer this will have been going on for 2 yrs.  How do we get him to say goodbye and mean it?  He's working with a therapist, and he does seem calmer, but if she crooks her little finger - I know he'll go back.   

If woman demand the right to not suffer any consequences, POST-coitally, including by means that are neither biological nor medical ( See " Legal Abandon Laws ", and " Adopting Out Laws " ), 

then its anti men sexism to deny men the same kinds of legal choice by which to say " no ". 

If " sex is a two way street ", how come the consequences of sex are held ONLY against men ?  

And, how about asking *women* to live up to their responsibilities, too ?  

" Her body, her choice... HER *responsibility* ".