Messages By: kramos

My son is 9 years old and has been hospitalized twice for suicide attempts and does have "black out" rages.  He started with "night terrors" when he was 9 months old.  Trust me there is nothing worse than holding a child for anywhere from 45 minutes to 4 hrs with that child in a complete rage and sound asleep and you can't do anything but wait for that child to wake up and pray he doesn't remember the dream that threw him into that state.  With the research that I have done on night terrors in bipolar children they actually go through the entire nightmare that the average person would wake up from, knowing that makes it all the more scary to know that they are watching themselves die in a brutal fashion and there is nothing you can do but wait.  I don't mean to get so graffic, but it is reality.  I have lost friends and family members because of the ignorance of thinking it is bad parenting when it's not.  My son was diganosed with bipolar/ADHD at the age of 5 and my daughter was diagnosed with bipolar/ADD at the age of 6 and even with the diagnoses those family and friends told me that I was just looking for a reason to explain my parenting and I just wasn't strict enough. 

I married a man of which I knew nothing about his family mental history and my mom was bipolar and sick my whole life, and my children are paying for my bad choices.  Having said that, we have used any and every resource we could find (my current husband and I) and now my son is almost finally leveled off between meds,wrap around programs, hospitalization and intense therepy with some of the best child psychologists in the US (Demetri Popolos in New York, the man that discovered childhood onset bipolar disorder, is friends with and has been consulted by our couselor regarding my children, so when I say the best I mean the best) and hopefully my son will be able to return to a real public school in about 2 years.  My daughter got off much easier she has been under control with meds for 4 years.  However, if I really was a bad parent I would not have two honor roll students and making progress and strides we thought they would never make.

I guess the point I am trying to make is don't be so quick to judge the parents, I have seen so many kids struggle just because the parents can't handle the truth and just say "oh they'll grow out of it".  If more parents of kids with problems would just get past their own feelings and concentrate on their children maybe our jails wouldn't be so full.  Yes it is a lot of work to get through raising a child with any types of diabilities or problems and trying to deal with your own feelings too, but if you decide to have children then you need to do anything you can do to ensure that that child or children have the best quality of life they can have no matter what it takes or what you as a parent have to sacrafice.  There has been times where my husband and I have discussed selling our dream home to move to a smaller house so I can stay home with my kids to make sure they are in a consistant environment and this isn't even the childrens biological father.  As it was we pushed up our wedding date a year and just eloped so I could take a job from home that did not include medical benefits.  I know this is getting long, but my point is you do what ever it takes to do for your kids. 

What helped me get through my feelings with the situation I was dealt came after I read Dr. Phil's Family First and  Robin's book and decided to quit feeling sorry for myself and put what I have learned into a group of people that all have children with some kind of disability whether it be mental or physical, this has helped so much and now I can say I am very proud of the strides my children have made in working their individual programs and thriving in them. 

This group of people have started progams for the kids in our area that cater to their disability.  We have a baseball team, soccer team, bowling leagues, special olympics and music lessons.  We also have massage therapists, chiroprators, and beauticians and barbers that all specialize in dealing with "Special Kids".  I volunteer as a coach for my kids soccer team and I also hope to get more involved with the baseball team this year.  There is also one special lady in this group who is trying to get a center built in our area to act as a total resource center for both our kids and ourselves for what ever we need whether it be legal advice on dealing with the school district to respite care for parents who just need an hour to themselves to animal therapy, she is hoping to have both dogs and horses for the kids to enjoy.

So I guess in a nut shell it is better to get involved with your kids then just hope they grow out of it, you just have to know and use your resources around you and if you can't find them, start your own.  Your children will appreciate it so much.  Even if it gets worse before it gets better there is light at the end of the tunnel and you have to hang in for the long haul for your childrens sake, NO MATTER WHAT!

I am happy to see that you stuck with your child with determination, there needs to be more moms like us in this world.

Way to go Mom...Children first!!!!!!!!!!

My son is 9 years old and has been hospitalized twice for suicide attempts and does have "black out" rages.  He started with "night terrors" when he was 9 months old.  Trust me there is nothing worse than holding a child for anywhere from 45 minutes to 4 hrs with that child in a complete rage and sound asleep and you can't do anything but wait for that child to wake up and pray he doesn't remember the dream that threw him into that state.  With the research that I have done on night terrors in bipolar children they actually go through the entire nightmare that the average person would wake up from, knowing that makes it all the more scary to know that they are watching themselves die in a brutal fashion and there is nothing you can do but wait.  I don't mean to get so graffic, but it is reality.  I have lost friends and family members because of the ignorance of thinking it is bad parenting when it's not.  My son was diganosed with bipolar/ADHD at the age of 5 and my daughter was diagnosed with bipolar/ADD at the age of 6 and even with the diagnoses those family and friends told me that I was just looking for a reason to explain my parenting and I just wasn't strict enough. 

I married a man of which I knew nothing about his family mental history and my mom was bipolar and sick my whole life, and my children are paying for my bad choices.  Having said that, we have used any and every resource we could find (my current husband and I) and now my son is almost leveled off between meds,wrap around programs, hospitalization and intense therepy with some of the best child psychologists in the US (Demetri Popolos in New York, the man that discovered childhood onset bipolar disorder, is friends with and has been consulted by our couselor regarding my children, so when I say the best I mean the best) and hopefully my son will be able to return to a real public school in about 2 years.  My daughter got off much easier she has been under control with meds for 4 years.  However, if I really was a bad parent I would not have two honor roll students and making progress and strides we thought they would never make.

I guess the point I am trying to make is don't be so quick to judge the parents, I have seen so many kids struggle just because the parents can't handle the truth and just say "oh they'll grow out of it".  If more parents of kids with problems would just get past their own feelings and concentrate on their children maybe our jails wouldn't be so full.  Yes it is a lot of work to get through raising a child with any types of diabilities or problems and trying to deal with your own feelings too, but if you decide to have children then you need to do anything you can do to ensure that that child or children have the best quality of life they can have no matter what it takes or what you as a parent have to sacrafice.  There has been times where my husband and I have discussed selling our dream home to move to a smaller house so I can stay home with my kids to make sure they are in a consistant environment and this isn't even the childrens biological father.  As it was we pushed up our wedding date a year and just eloped so I could take a job from home that did not include medical benefits.  I know this is getting long, but my point is you do what ever it takes to do for your kids. 

What helped me get through my feelings with the situation I was dealt came after I read Dr. Phil's Family First and  Robin's book and decided to quit feeling sorry for myself and put what I have learned into a group of people that all have children with some kind of disability whether it be mental or physical, this has helped so much and now I can say I am very proud of the strides my children have made in working their individual programs and thriving in them. 

This group of people have started progams for the kids in our area that cater to their disability.  We have a baseball team, soccer team, bowling leagues, special olympics and music lessons.  We also have massage therapists, chiroprators, and beauticians and barbers that all specialize in dealing with "Special Kids".  I volunteer as a coach for my kids soccer team and I also hope to get more involved with the baseball team this year.  There is also one special lady in this group who is trying to get a center built in our area to act as a total resource center for both our kids and ourselves for what ever we need whether it be legal advice on dealing with the school district to respite care for parents who just need an hour to themselves to animal therapy, she is hoping to have both dogs and horses for the kids to enjoy.

So I guess in a nut shell it is better to get involved with your kids then just hope they grow out of it, you just have to know and use your resources around you and if you can't find them, start your own.  Your children will appreciate it so much.  Even if it gets worse before it gets better there is light at the end of the tunnel and you have to hang in for the long haul for your childrens sake, NO MATTER WHAT!

I know this is the second time I have posted this, but I hope that this will enspire someone or help them in a desperate situation

My son is 9 years old and has been hospitalized twice for suicide attempts and does have "black out" rages.  He started with "night terrors" when he was 9 months old.  Trust me there is nothing worse than holding a child for anywhere from 45 minutes to 4 hrs with that child in a complete rage and sound asleep and you can't do anything but wait for that child to wake up and pray he doesn't remember the dream that threw him into that state.  With the research that I have done on night terrors in bipolar children they actually go through the entire nightmare that the average person would wake up from, knowing that makes it all the more scary to know that they are watching themselves die in a brutal fashion and there is nothing you can do but wait.  I don't mean to get so graphic, but it is reality.  I have lost friends and family members because of the ignorance of thinking it is bad parenting when it's not.  My son was diagnosed with bipolar/ADHD at the age of 5 and my daughter was diagnosed with bipolar/ADD at the age of 6 and even with the diagnoses those family and friends told me that I was just looking for a reason to explain my parenting and I just wasn't strict enough. 

I married a man of whom I knew nothing about his family mental history and my mom was bipolar and sick my whole life and my children are paying for my bad choices.  Having said that, we have used any and every resource we could find (my current husband and I) and now my son is almost leveled off between meds, wrap around programs, hospitalization and intense therapy with some of the best child psychologists in the US (Demetri Popolos in New York, the man that discovered childhood onset bipolar disorder, is friends with and has been consulted by our counselor regarding my children, so when I say the best I mean the best) and hopefully my son will be able to return to a real public school in about 2 years.  My daughter got off much easier she has been under control with meds for 4 years.  However, if I really was a bad parent I would not have two honor roll students and making progress and strides we thought they would never make.

I guess the point I am trying to make is don't be so quick to judge the parents, I have seen so many kids struggle just because the parents can't handle the truth and just say "oh they'll grow out of it".  If more parents of kids with problems would just get past their own feelings and concentrate on their children maybe our jails wouldn't be so full.  Yes it is a lot of work to get through raising a child with any types of disabilities or problems and trying to deal with your own feelings too, but if you decide to have children then you need to do anything you can do to ensure that that child or children have the best quality of life they can have no matter what it takes or what you as a parent have to sacrifice.  There have been times where my husband and I have discussed selling our dream home to move to a smaller house so I can stay home with my kids to make sure they are in a consistent environment and this isn't even the children’s biological father.  As it was we pushed up our wedding date a year and just eloped so I could take a job from home that did not include medical benefits.  I know this is getting long, but my point is you do what ever it takes to do for your kids. 

What helped me get through my feelings with the situation I was dealt came after I read Dr. Phil's Family First and Robin’s book and decided to quit feeling sorry for myself and put what I have learned into a group of people that all have children with some kind of disability whether it be mental or physical, this has helped so much and now I can say I am very proud of the strides my children have made in working their individual programs and thriving in them. 

This group of people has started programs for the kids in our area that cater to their disability.  We have a baseball team, soccer team, bowling leagues, Special Olympics and music lessons.  We also have massage therapists, chiropractors, and beauticians and barbers that all specialize in dealing with "Special Kids".  I volunteer as a coach for my kid’s soccer team and I also hope to get more involved with the baseball team this year.  There is also one special lady in this group who is trying to get a center built in our area to act as a total resource center for both our kids and ourselves for what ever we need whether it be legal advice on dealing with the school district to respite care for parents who just need an hour to themselves to animal therapy, she is hoping to have both dogs and horses for the kids to enjoy.

So I guess in a nut shell it is better to get involved with your kids then just hope they grow out of it, you just have to know and use your resources around you and if you can't find them, start your own.  Your children will appreciate it so much.  Even if it gets worse before it gets better there is light at the end of the tunnel and you have to hang in for the long haul for your children’s sake, NO MATTER WHAT!

I just want you to know that you are not alone, my 9 year old little precious child is exactly the same as what you describe your child to be.  I know how lonely it is not to mention frustrating and consuming.  I have written to Dr. Phil several times asking for his help and I pray every day that he answers me some day.  I would love to get my son into the hospital in Texas he talked about last night, but since I can't work (due to my son's condition and not being able to put him in daycare at all) money is very tight and we need our prayers answered to be able to get my baby the help he needs.

Hang in there and just love him as much as you can.  I know how hard it can be at times but when nothing else works that's all that is left as well as prayer.  So many people don't understand that majority of these kids that have these problems do come from loving, caring homes and not an abusive mess.  I have done everything I can between couseling, hospitalizations, police visits, wrap around programs, special schools, and run ins with CPS that I am at the end of my rope.  And not having family support due to ignorance is the worst.  I have one friend left and my husband, other than that I pretty much have no other interaction because everyone has disappeared because of my need to vent to people and they all got tired of hearing about it.

Yes it is hard!!!!!!!! 

I was married to a man for 8 years and if he wasn't on the internet, phone, or movies he was cheating for real.  Guys like this never get enough and they will not stop no matter what the cost.  Him and I had 2 kid's together and that wasn't enough to stop anything.  We were averaging $1300.00 phone bills, $250.00 cable bills and I couldn't even turn my computer on when my kid's were around because of the pop ups.  The one thing I found out is this had absolutly nothing to do with sex it was adrenaline.  At one point he even told me to my face that he didn't care about the consiquences at the time he was doing this.  It was so bad we were evicted from two houses and lost 3 cars, phone in the house was few and far between (w/ 2 babies in the house).  I would steer clear of this guy, he will ruin you and your children's lives.