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Messages By: alfie33

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confused
April 21, 2006, 12:03 pm CDT

Is he interested

Hi to all, 

I am a divorced 49 year old woman.  I consider myself happy go lucky and fun to be around.  I have met a very interesting guy (52) who also is fun to be around.  I have been divorced for 4 years but he has only been divorced for 2 years.  He was married to a nurse and she ran off with a Dr.  He is so wonderfully sweet and I've only been dating him a short time.  He is so afraid of a relationship and I undertand that because I've been ther too.  I am so very interested in gettng to know him bettter that I am afraid I'm gonna scare him away.  He does call me and E-Mail me.  we live 150 miles apart.  I would travel once a week to see him and he has been told that.  He also comes to see friends where I'm from and we get together then.  How slow should I go or How long do I keep hanging on for something more?  Some advice Please. 

 
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confused
September 23, 2006, 8:14 pm CDT

Confused About my relationship

I have been dating this man for 6 to 7 months.  It is a long distance relationship.  We talk on the phone several times a week.  He told me when we met he was gun shy.  He has been divorce for 2 years.  His ex wife was in an affair and then just dropped a bomb on him and filed for divorce.  He lost his wife and 2 sons just like that.  His 2 boys were his wole life.  When were together it is great.  It seems we have the desire fora relationship, but when he leaves he doesn't seem to get excited to make plans for the next time tobe together, I feel like I am always pushing for our time together.  I really want to be with him, I probably am falling in love with him but I will not let him know that other than how I treat him.  We neither one say those words to each other.  I don't even know where I stand with him and I am afraid to ask him, becuse I am afraid  I will scare him away.  One other thing he said to me earlier on was to be patient with him.  What kind of questions should  I ask him to be more confortable with where I stand with him.  My emotions are going crazy with not knowing where I stand with him.  Any advice , please help?
 
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September 24, 2006, 3:14 pm CDT

Confused about relationship

Quote From: jaimie1974

You said that you feel that you are pushing him to make time to be with you- my advice for you is this: the next time you are together, dont say anything about plans to see one another again, wait for him to do it! This will tell you a lot. You dont want to be too eager, you want him to want to be with you, right? So, give him the chance to step up and make plans with you. Perhaps he doesnt do it because he knows you will- so give him the chance. If he doesnt step up at that time and say something, dont worry; give him time. He has already told you to be patient with him, so you need to be patient! You can only learn how to be patient by being patient. Best wishes!
Thankyou for making me feel a little better and I will sure try your advice.  I want to be patient but I also am afraid if we don't see one other that he will just as soon forget me.  He is worth trying to wait until I know what he wants but I don't want to feel used or confused.
 
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October 2, 2006, 3:40 pm CDT

Should I move on or hang in there?

Here is my problem, I've been dating this 52 year old man for 7-8months.  Long distance.  These last 2 months we have seen each other more often and I thought we were growing closer.  I asked him where I stood in this dating relationship.  His reply was I'm not in any hurry to get into a serious relationship like I was in my marriage.  So I said what do you want me to do.  He said I would like you to stay just like you are, sweet, friendly, fun to be with.  He also said I know its not fair to you but this is how I feel, I am very gun shy. He said he did fear I wouldn't wait around to see when he's ready.  He was burned in his marriage of 27 years-infedility and more.  He does call almost every day and when he does come to visit me he is very helpful around my house, he repairs things etc.  I do have very strong feelings for him, but I am afraid also.  Anyone have any advice???? Help  Thanks Alfie
 
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October 3, 2006, 9:22 am CDT

Thanks Angie it helped

Quote From: pointon

Hi.

 

He sounds like a nice guy, i would wait that little bit longer if i were you, 12 months at least.... 27yrs is a long time to just get over someone, be carefull he may still have feelings for his ex... Just let the relationship between you get closer, without any comments of moving the relationship on, not yet anyway...Beside's whats the rush.??..7-8months isnt that long really, to be thinking about moving in, and engagment, stuff like that..... Enjoy what you have now with him, then in 12 months time if nothings changed, sit and explain how you feel after that, he may then want more..!!

 

Hope this helps..

 

Regards Ange

 
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October 3, 2006, 9:23 am CDT

He or she won't commit

Quote From: pointon

Hi.

 

He sounds like a nice guy, i would wait that little bit longer if i were you, 12 months at least.... 27yrs is a long time to just get over someone, be carefull he may still have feelings for his ex... Just let the relationship between you get closer, without any comments of moving the relationship on, not yet anyway...Beside's whats the rush.??..7-8months isnt that long really, to be thinking about moving in, and engagment, stuff like that..... Enjoy what you have now with him, then in 12 months time if nothings changed, sit and explain how you feel after that, he may then want more..!!

 

Hope this helps..

 

Regards Ange

Thanks to Angie it does help to know someone else thinks like I do.  My other friends keep telling me to move on.
 

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