Messages By: xaviersada

 I am having a similar problem with my current boyfriend.  He claimed that he was infertile (.01%), which for  all extensive purposes was probably true, and we had talked amongst our informal wedding plans and extended future talks, about what we would do if we did get pregnant.  Well, it happened, condoms and spermicide a majority of the time didn't help.  He isn't taking it at all well.  Neither of us wanted children; I wanted to adopt an older child in a few years, but I am 30 and he is 35 and I feel that things happen for a reason.  We are having a hard time getting through the mood swings and emotional changes...If we decide that this relationship can't handle this stress, then I will most likely leave, but I wouldn't want child support from someone who so obviously is set against having this child.  How do you explain to a child that they are unwanted.  I was an unplanned child, and I resent my father now that I know he didn't want me.  Ironically, after all of the problems in our relationship, my father is happy to be finally getting a grandchild.  My boyfriend's family still doesn't know, and I just started my second trimester.  How do I get it through to him that maybe his family will be supportive of this, which I think would make him feel more secure as well?