Messages By: happymom99

I think that the last thing on earth that men need is an additional way to not live up to the responsibilities that life gives us. 

Men need to take responsibility for not only the actions that they take but for the results of such actions. 

When men can actually carry a child in their bodies and have to make the decision of what they should do then they can have they say over what happens.  Men think that these are easy choices and that then you just get on with your day.   There are three choices for women that are pregnant.  One is to have the child and all the responsibility that comes with rasing that child (to often on their own) Two is to give the child up for adoption and live with the emotional pain and guilt that comes along with this choice.  The last is to end the pregnancy and live with the aftermath of such a final decision that you can not take back.  Men get the choice to stay or leave.  They often do not have an emotional attachment to the child as the do not carry it inside them.  I know this from my husband as he really did not make the big connection with either of our children until they were born.  So with out that sense of bonding they can easily walk away from a child that they did not plan to have.  Women do not have that luxury as they are bonded long before the birth.  When you feel that signs of pregnancy, the baby move then you are looking at things from a completely different place.   

If men truly do not wish to have children then thay have choices to make.  Take a chance and if there is a baby be a man and take responsibilty.   Use birth control methods that are as effective as possible and always understand that there is still a chance that you can make a child.  Get yourself clipped and snipped and ensure that your swimmers can not get free.  Or do not have sex.   

If you have sex with a women and do not properly protect yourself because she says she can not get pregnant then you are a fool!!!!!! 

I think  that if you are man enough to play then you need to man enough to pay!!!!! Not only financially but emotionally and with your time. 

When men can carry a child they can make the decisions but until that time comes someone has to take responsibilty for every child that is conceived regardless of the situation. 

I think that it is time that these two and many others just grow up already.   Life is far to short to spend it being angry about something that you can not change.

My husband and I have recently seperated after 17 years of marriage.  He had an affair and decided that he needed to move on.  We have two small children and we (especially me) had a choice to make.  We could be spiteful and hateful and destroy our children and ourselves in the process or we could act like adults and make the most of the situation.  We decided to get along.  He ramained living in the family home for a year after telling me about the new girlfriend and then moved out to a new home that they purchased that took the childrens needs into account.  I remain in the family home as that is the home of our children.  She is very good to our children and they love her.  There is no visitation agreement as he may have our children as much as he wishes.  She has even taken them out on her own.  I am glad for that because they need to growup to be strong and grounded and it is our responsibility to do so.   The children should be happy and content and they are not responsible for this their parents are!

So get on with your lives put an end to this chapter of your life.  Take the lessons that you can learn and be happy.  You only get to go around once and it is a shame to spend the time that you are given being angry and bitter and looking for revenge.