Messages By: bluedane2

I am ashamed to hear so many women encouraging Michele to leave her husband.   No one said marriage was going to be “a walk in the park!"  Marriage requires work to make it through the roller coaster ride of "life", and this couple is now taking those necessary steps to get over this obstacle.  Instead of discouraging Michelle, we need to encourage her, as well as, her husband so they can get through these difficult times.  Analyzing Michele's husband’s physical attributes is evidently not an issue for her, so we should stop talking about him.   Michele probably didn't marry him because of his looks anyways.  Men and women are attracted to one another for various reasons.  Some women may cherish a man with a good income and humor over looks.   While some men may choose looks over a women’s earning potential because money is not an issue for them.  Love and attraction is two separate things, and unfortunately the masses of folks around here can not distinguish between the two.  I assure you regardless of any disappointment I may feel due to the physical changes my wife may go through, I will gladly lay down my life for her in a second  because I love her.  Wake up people!   Dr. Phil truly needs to do a show on true love not this mess that some women watch on TV and read in romance novels. 

Husband can accept my natural beauty, but if I ever get fat (Anything above my BMI- the ideal weight of what my doctor gives me) and I accept myself that way, he'll leave (He's a health nut- he hasn't always been though, but it makes me learn to control what I eat and eat healthy and since I got an ok from the doc- which I didn't have before, but now I do, i'm going to start working out).   

From your postings I would wager that you are a male.  No concern about feelings, just about LOOKS. I suppose you compare all women to airbrushed, made up and image-enhanced actresses and models-get a clue-they don't look like their pictures either! You side with him.  I suppose you also think his mean comments are okay. 

If by chance you are a female, I would say you are not a very compassionate or well-informed one. 

You are also unrealistic and naive about saying that all she needs to do is work out.  If you had more knowledge you would understand that "just working out" doesn't help in all cases.  She seems to be at a good weight so she obviously is doing some positive things in the weight control area.   

True love means doing what is necessary to please the one you love, even if that means stop looking at soap operas and getting on the treadmill to workout.   The very problem that they are experiencing can be fixed by simply eating right and exercising at least 30 mins a day!   Yes this maybe hard at first, but the benefits from this change in life style will go way beyond than fulfilling her husband’s needs.  Too many people are making excuses for those who are overweight and out of shape, and this is why America is facing the many health issues that it is today.   Children and adults are rapidly becoming obese for lack of exercise and poor dieting.   This attitude of making excuses for this poor behavior needs to stop. 

Back on true love again......

I agree with you 100% that true love is unconditional, but just because a husband is not sexually attractive to his wife doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her.  This is unless, you feel love is directly correlated to sex!   Love is more than just sex, it is the attitude that you will sacrifice your all, be there emotionally, spiritually, and physically to help uplift and provide for ones needs.   Yes, Michele's husband said some distasteful things, but those words came from years of frustration and continuous disappointments.   Those words didn't just come out of the blue, I'm sure there were times in the beginning when he brought those issues up in hopes of them being rectified.   I'm also sure that Michele told him that she would take care of it and do what it takes to achieve the end result.  Well after years of waiting and seeing very little improvement, frustration began to set in.  Believe it or not, his frustration is directly connected to the love he has for Michele.  If he didn't love her he wouldn’t care if she lost the weight, nor would he have brought his problems to the television sets for the whole nation to judge.   He could just simply leave, but he didn’t because he truly loves his wife! 

then hubby should quit the constant harping about Michelle's appearance & stop hurting her FEELINGS.  I don't care how physical, visual, & sexual men are, they have no business being abusive.  All your advice/criticism is directed at Michelle, as if Carl is totally in the right to be doing what he's doing.  BTW, you ASSUME Michelle's not working out appropriately.  You don't have enough knowledge to know that.  

I am happy to hear that you agree that his comments were not okay at all. From your original posting, it wasn't clear to me. I imagined you to not be a very feeling person. Goes to show you how we often don't get enough info about a person from computer messages (LOL!!) 

I feel that surgery is a last resort.  I don't know how much Michelle has worked out-if she hasn't it may be a good idea to do that before jumping into surgery. And I'm obviously not talking about trying a little exercise for 2 weeks and then saying it doesn't work.  If it is going to work for her (or for anyone else) it will take time to see results.   If she does work out for a considerable length of time and by chance doesn't get results, then and only then should she consider surgery under the guidance of good physicians that know her complete medical history. 

Are you kidding?  Did you notice how skinny she was?  The point -  this is not her fault.  She can't help it.  The same thing with wrinkles.  You can't help it.  How do you know that all she needs to do is work out?  Her husbands attitude towards her is breaking her spirit.  What a shame.  She is beautiful.  If he loves her than he needs to help her not have looks of disgust.  God help you if you have a problem with your body that you can't help some day.