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Messages By: kcmomom

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May 3, 2006, 11:39 am CDT

I have been there

I got married in 2000. I had known my husband since we were children. A week before we got married he choked me and I told myself that it was just because he was stressed about the wedding.  

  

Through out the marriage the violence progressed. While I was pregnant with our son, he pushed me into a wall and then kicked me over and over while I was stuck between the wall and the floor. This caused me to go into pre-mature labor. I was in pre-mature labor from 22 weeks until 35 weeks when my water broke and they could not do anything further to stop it. 

  

My son was born with some breathing problems from being born early. When he was sent home from the hospital he was put on an apnea moniter because he would stop breathing at times. 

  

One day, after my son had been home for a few weeks, just an ordinary day, I got him ready for work, made him breakfast and packed his lunch. The day was seeming to go off without a hitch. My husband came home from lunch saying he didnt want a packed lunch and wondered why I didn't have anything else prepared for him. He left mad and continued to call and yell at me through out the afternoon.  

  

When he arrived home from work I was holding our son feeding him in a chair. He told me to get out of "his" house. I said ok. My friend Brenda had started staying with us just a few days before so since I was still sore from my c-section and I was feeding our son I asked her to get his car seat. My husband said "You're not taking him." He then tried to reach to get him away from me. I placed my arms around my son in a way that he could not touch him, just because I knew he didn't know his own strength when he was angry, and could not take the risk of him hurting our child. He grabbed and empty bottle of Parrot Bay Rum that we had on display in a glass cabnet. He kicked  me in my right ankle with his steel toed boot, hit me in the left knee with the bottle, then kicked me in my right ankle again. He then cut the phone cord to the phone. 

  

The next day when he left for work I got my mother to come help me get the hospital. My left knee was broken in three places. I filed for an order of protection, and then filed for divorce a week later. 

  

My exhusband just didn't have control when he was angry and I had been ok with risking myself but I could not handle the thought of him hurting my son. 

  

We have been divorced for a few years now. My ex is on meds and sees a psychologist on a monthly basis. He is a wonderful father to our son, and we get along very well as divorced parents. Now and again I find myself thinking "Now he is the man I loved again. Maybe we should try it again." I never will though. I can not risk doing that to my son. 

 
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May 3, 2006, 11:45 am CDT

Love Being Single

I have to say that I have been single for some time now and I enjoy it. Its not binding. I am not downing relationships just saying that for me right now this is the way to go. 

  

I have a son to raise. I have school and work to worry about. When I have free time I get to choose what I want to do with it and not what someone else wants to do with it. 

 
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May 3, 2006, 2:08 pm CDT

Living with Chronic Pain

My mother just a few years ago was diagnosed with Rhematiod Arthritis, Soritic Arthritis, fybromialgia, and there is another type of arthritis she was just diagnosed with on her last appointment. 

  

My sister and I both live with her to take care of her. It also keeps her close to her grandchildren. 

  

It is hard to see her in so much pain. I have to give her injections every week, and make sure she takes her other medicines every day.  

  

My sister and I have forgotten what it is to get a full nights sleep. There are things she needs in the middle of the night. Some nights she can not even get up to the bathroom with help so you have to get her a bed pan and then clean it afterwards. Otherwise you just have to wake up to take her. 

  

Alot of people around think that my mother is just a wimp but being her daughter for all the years I have been alive I know how strong my mother is. She is a nurse and used to pull 4 to 6 tweleve hour shifts at a hospital a week so that she could give us fancy vacations. She has survived her husband leaving her after 17 years of marriage which crushed her world. She has survived watching her grandchild die of a critical heart condition, and helped me go through the loss of my child. She lost her mother at the age of 16. Then went and lived with a father who was never around and a stepmother who hated kids. 

  

My mother is a strong woman which has taught me to be strong. It gets hard though. 

  

In 16 days we are all taking her to Disney World. We already have a wheel chair requested for her. She can not push it herself because of the pain in her hands so we will have to take turns pushing her. It will be worth it though. She wants to see her grandchildren enjoy it.  

 
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May 3, 2006, 3:06 pm CDT

05/04 Violent Love Intervention

Quote From: bluedane2

Thank you for having the decency to put your child first.  And for the love of God, don't take this guy back.  Continue the good relationship you guys have now, living apart and leave it at that.  Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!
I was just saying that I have thought about it. I would never do it. I know that he is doing great now but I wouldn't want to have my son envolved if he would to stop taking his meds or something. Its just too dangerous. Its kinda like the whole burning your hand thing. If you touch something and it burns your hand you are not going to reach out and touch it again.
 

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