hi me again, i never thought i would get a response like that..thank you for caring and giving me feed back. as an answer to a couple of questions; no i've never received help for any of this. i don't know how to ask for help. spmetimes i don't think its a big deal but other times; it makes me angry. i have daughters and if anyone would ever dare lay a finger on them i would be out of control. you'd have to put me in a straight jacket cause i'm doing some damage. actually any of my kids; i have a son too and i would be devastated if anything happened to him.
i feel that its a waste of time to get help; like its too late; and i don't deserve it.?! but its all i think about ...its 3:40 in the morning i can't sleep. i told my older sister about what happened to me. i couldn't believe she had no idea that it was going on. 'cause i told her when i was 10. we were sitting in her kitchen with her friends around. we were talking about things in that nature. nobody said anything so i didn't act on it. and she told me she was molested also, by a neighbor guy, and she was raped by a relative...she said how can it be rape when you didn't know it was wrong? i said because you didn't know it was wrong, you obviously were too young. and i know who did it. she swore me to secracy(sp?) but i am in awe...i can't believe this jerk, very close relative of ours did that to her ...i started crying. like my family was so aweful that people could do this to them....what is wrong with this world?! i don't know what to do...it'll come out, but i feel she needs help also. she now in her 40's very happy. but she'll never get over this..and i don't know how to help her if i can't help myself.
grinny
