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Messages By: hillsmum

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July 23, 2006, 6:17 am CDT

a newbie from S.A

hi everyone.  

hey jazzy, small world, lol.  i live in the country adelaide hills with my dh & 2 girls.  aged 11 & 6.  i have been with dh for 14 yrs & have been married for 10yrs.  dh is a painter/decorater & we work together.  

i'd love to have a chat & get to know lots of girls here on the forums.  

terri.  

 
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July 23, 2006, 6:04 pm CDT

AUSTRALIA.

thnx for the welcomes. 

daniel has always been a painter, so even when we first met i was helping at work here and there.  but i have been permantly working with him for coming up to 3 yrs now.  by working with him and experienceing what he goes trhough everyday has given me such a better understanding of him and his ways, lol.  so we tend to get along a little better now.  don't get me wrong, he can have me in tears at work too.  lol.  we just give eachother a time out and them get back into it.  i wouldn't say it was the easiest job in the world, but it has heaps of perks that fit in with our family way of life. 

  

 
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July 24, 2006, 5:41 am CDT

AUSTRALIA.

hi ruthieg,  dh is short for darling husband.  darlind daighter (dd)  etc.  sorry to confuse you.  so far i've liked reading ur posts, ur a crack up.   

i am slowly finding my way around the place,lol. 

 
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July 24, 2006, 5:55 am CDT

"family first", book by Dr Phil

hi all.   

firstly just let me say that i am anewbie and am learning my way around the boards, so pls accept appolagies if this post is in the wrong area. 

i have recently finished reading this book, for the third time, lol.  i find that when i re-read it i pick up on little things i may have missed b4.  the book has really helped, open my mind to things i hadn't done b4 and also to confirm the things i was doing right. 

i have always had very strong (old school) values for family bonds and the book has helped me to express my parenting styles with clarity and hope for the future. 

just wanted to let you know, and for anyone else who hasn't read this 1 yet, give it a read. 

thnx. 

 
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August 1, 2006, 1:09 am CDT

is military school the answer?

i am totally at my witts end with my girls.  aged 6 and 11.


mostly with the 11 yr old. (as she is the eldest) and with the way she treats her younger sister, not just at home but at school too.   the 6 yr old  has her fair share of trouble herself, but  the 11 yr oldt  will not leave her alone.


when they were younger they had the strongest bond, but over the last 3 yrs they have become mission  impossible.  
 all they do is argue, fight, yell, lie , dob etc, u name it, they do it.
we have done all types of disciplinary actions under the sun, but nothing works. 
 i understand that this may be normal for sisters to behave this way and at home i can deal with it all well enough.  but it has been getting worse at school for over a year now.  and i can't take it anymore.
we have had many talks with the teachers and the girls , but their fighting at school is unacceptable and i'm out of ideas.  except 1.  we take the 11 yr old  out of school and place her in another school.  this would definately solve the fighting at school issue and i wouldn't have to keep being called in.  
my husband  would like to send the 11 yr old  to military school, it's a big step, but just may be a good 1.  allthough she is too young for that yet, plus i wouldn't want her be at boarding school, i'm not sure how it all works.
i can't see any other resolution for this problem.   the girls  won't curb their behaviour, so we have

to.


 i dreamt that they would be happy sisters at school looking out for each other, but it has gone the oppisite and i feel really heart broken over it.
i'm hopeing that someone will maybe have an idea of what i am going through and could offer another suggestions.
thnx for reading and thnx in advance for any help.

 
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August 1, 2006, 4:01 am CDT

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Quote From: mistyedwa

A few nights ago while my husband was telling my 6 year old son goodnight he found that our son was wearing my daughters bathing suit top under his night shirt.   Tonight, while I was tucking him into bed I found a pair of her panties hid behind his bed.  She is 10 years old and has a different dad that she spent the summer with.  When I asked him why he had these in his room all I get is an , " I don't know."  Then with some pushing for info I get an "I was just curious." answer.  Of course I asked if he was just curious and he just agreed with that as an option.  But, does a 6 year old really know why they do things?  I want to think he did these things out of just missing his sister but, there are also times that he acts girlie and pretends to be posing like a super model and other things that just seem odd.  Is this just simple curiosity or something I should be worried about?  My husband is in the Army and to even think that this is a clue to something "abnormal" is just unheard of to him and not even an option in his mind, but who knows?..right?

hi there,

i just read ur post, so i thought i'd reply now.

like u say, most 6 yr olds don't know why they do things, their brains aren't wired properly yet, lol.  maybe coz ur husband is an army man u r more conscious of how he acts, just a thought.

personaly i wouldn't stress about it a whole lot, just keep an eye on him and how he acts, make sure the lines of communication are wide open for him.  maybe get ur husband to take him out more doing "boy" things.

take care

 
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August 1, 2006, 4:10 am CDT

Your Parenting Style

to be honest with u, i use my mums parenting styles as a "how not to parent".  i learn from her mistakes she made with myself and my 2 brothers.  don't get me wrong though, she's always there for me, but she's not a good parent.

i self help heaps, web sites, books etc.  mostly dr phil actually.  i appreciate his bluntness and honesty.  he gets me thinking about a whole new side of things i hadn't thought about b4.

these forums are greaat for advice i think, we all help eachother out.

 
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August 2, 2006, 4:38 am CDT

General Advice

Quote From: wisloser

My son turned 4 in March.  He refuses to get a haircut.  He will let the dentist clean his teeth and he will give a blood sample at the doctor and not shed a tear.  The other day he had to get his immunizations.  He had three individual shots and did not cry a bit.  If you put him in a chair to get a haircut, he will screem bloody murder.  We've tried going to my sister who is a beautician, we've tried a barber shop, we had his aunt take him to another salon, we've even offered to cut it at home.  We have also tried bribing him but nothing works.  I am hoping somebody can give me some advice on how to get my son to get a haircut.  He will go to 4 year old kindergarten this fall and I really would like him to be able to see without lifting the hair up and out of his eyes.  Any suggestions?

hi there.

that's a tricky 1.

see how u go with these couple of suggestions.

have another male to take him on a barber trip to watch someones hair cut, then next time actually have ur sons hair cut.

or maybe u could cut his hair in his sleep.

 
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August 2, 2006, 10:14 pm CDT

General Advice

Quote From: mistyedwa

Thanks for your advice to my own little dilemma!  As for your's, I would suggest letting one of the daughters go to a different school before doing the drastic "Military School" thing.  I have 2 kids and when they are apart for a while they get along so good when they get back together, but when they are together for a while without a break  they start to fight, smart each other off, and just get plain bratty to one another.  One thing that helps is the fact that I live on base at Ft. Campbell and my 10 yr old has friends near by and she gets to go play or whatever and basically have a "life" of her own instead of being stuck with her brother all the time.  Breaking up the monotony (don't know how to spell that word) really helps.  Maybe you should get the 11 yr old into sports or something that she can have for herself without lil sis being there, too.  Let her have some independance without lil sis getting in on the action.  I'm sure seeing each other at school and home is just getting on their nerves and they just need some space. 

thx for the advice.  the military thing was more of a scare tactic really, which has worked it seems.  brooke doesn't want to change schools, so we have given her till the end of the year, fingers crossed hey.

atm they are sharing a room, which yes, makes things hard, we are actually looking to move to a bigger house.  we have out grown this little thing, lol.

brooke started playing netball a few months ago, which has helped, drew spends her time with dad, while brooke and i do netball.  drew also does karate, while brooke spends time with dad.  this has helped in other areas aswell, all good.

they are so much alike, that's also why they clash i guess.  hubby just wants a very large shed he can hide away too, lol.

 
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August 6, 2006, 2:59 am CDT

AUSTRALIA.

Quote From: vicjanemum

I hvae been following Dr. Phil for a long time now, but have just signed up to the website. I am from Victoria, 34 year old mum of 2. Look forward to chatting with you all.
Jane
hi jane, good to have u here.  hope to have a chat soon.
 

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