Messages By: mmbbsmom

I've been through this hell before in my 2nd marriage and it's a miserable life. Your never sure where he is and you lose your life tring to figure out what he's doing. You get consumed with the lies and you will never trust him and that ruins your relatioship. I'm also in a 8 yr relationship that I thought I could trust, but it seems men can't be happy with one partner.

I understand the stuck thing. My boyfriend of 81/2 yrs admitted he had a fling. I had left him and he thought I was gone. So did I, we were talking long distance and 5 mths later we decided to get back together. I really don't blame him for the "fling" because I had left, but he is very secretive since I've been back ( 5 mths) and I am constantly checking his voice messages and the cell phone calls, It's maddening, I am somewhat disabled from degenerative disc , we built a business together and I cannot work with him anymore. He was very dissapointed about this, so was I, I am now just hanging in there because I love him and need his financial support.

I've decided that since I'm 51 and have been married 2x before not to mention I got married whe I was 16 and pregnant, I don't want to date and I don't want to be alone (even tnough my 14 yr old is still with me,  a girls friends become so important at this age I can't expect her to keep me company). My partner and I started a landscaping business together and I do the office work, so I do have that financial security, somewhat, he thinks the business is all him cause I had surgery 4yrs ago and can't help him with the phisical work. I was doing everything he does including lifting 80# bags of concrete, plus taking care of my daughter, fixing meals ect. He got real upset that I coul'nt work with him and he has to hire someone now. I got fed up with his attitude and left to Ca for 5 mths, we would talk on the phone regulary and he flew me back for Thanksgiving. Then we started talking about me coming back, so Christmas I loaded up all my and my daughters stuff and drove to what I thought was going to be the way it was. Needless to say during those 5 mths he enjoyed the company of at least one girl (that he admitted to) .I did'nt blame him I thought and so did he I was gone permantly, as long as it was over. I added a cell phone to his and when the bill came I saw phone # repeated at late hrs. I intercepted his voice mail and it was a girl that we both knew kinda. I know this is long but I'll be glad to tell the rest of the story if anyone wants to know.

what does anyone think of checking your husbands cells phone log and calling the numbers that are frequent and late at night

I did start calling the numbers and so many were disconnected, I talked to one girl who said she did'nt know my husband and asked me to discribe him, and she asked me who he knows I said some names and she finally said does he know so and so and I said yes that was the guy that works for him, then she said "i know who your talking about now, I don't know him but I've met him once and didn't like him at all " then the next day my husband called me and asked me why I was calling so and so's people and asking questions? I said I told you no secrets I wiil find out so too bad. That was the end of that. But now so and so's mothers friend and I stated talking on the phone when she called to ask if my husband knew where so and so was because a family friend had died.  well I was snoopy and looked at the phone # and called back to ask what they wanted (we have a home business and she called on the home phone) the lady and I started talking(it was late and we had both been having some drinks, she was alone and my husband had gone to bed). But we sorta struck up a phone friendship and have talked 3 times since. Last night she called and wants me to go have drinks with her, I thought that was neat, but she started asking me about how I get my husbands phone log, and told me so andso told her not to hang out with me, I was bad news. I fix lunches and deliver them to my husband and this so and so and welcome him into my home and feed him almost everyday. Last night when my H got home I told him to not ever ask me to feed him again.  I still don't know if I'm going to have drinks or not I don't trust anyony anymore, but I was thinking I should go and say a bunch of stuff to see if it comes back.  please comment

I am in that same place thinking I have nowhere to turn, but you know what, if your honest with yourself  you do have someone and his name is Jesus, even if your no a beleiver just the fact that your asking for help means you are open to a deep down love for youself and that love comes from the holy spirit, otherwise you you be doing something to get revenge and trust me I just did that and all it got me was more angry and hurt. Last night was total hell for me my partner and I haven'nt been getting along sice I came back to him (at his pleading). He treats me like a whore and won't tell me he loves me. I found out why,the other day when I acsessed his voice mail and a familiar womans voice saidm"you forgot your sticks" slang for needles. He had told me he was working and only had his male helper with him and had been nowhere else. It was a direct lie. H es been useing meth for a while but I did'nt know he was shooting up. This changes everything because sex is out now. When I confronted him he said "so what if I am" well this is why all the strange phone #s are on the cell bill and all the secrets. Powerful drugs like that are just as bad as an affair, and they act just like they don't care because they don't love themselves. someone please reply, I am disabled am depend on him , Hes gone now and I don't know if hes coming back and really I am ok because all we do is fight. I still love him and I am not interested in another relationship, It hurts too much to fall in love.

Well I guess it's finally over, my boyfriend of 81/2 yrs has told me I need to find a new place to live, he dosen't want to live with me anymore. We started a business together  Landscaping and I had surgery 3 yrs ago which prevented me from working with him on the job. But I did alot of work from home for him and prepared food for him and his employees and cooked  and cleaned so we had a nice home. I am devistated, I receive state support for my 14 yrs old daughter and I. But I am termed disabled because of chronic pain. When we met he lived with his mother and did not have a vehicle or a drivers licence. I took him to work and picked him up as well as getting my child to school and myself to collage where I was taking Culinary Arts. He would come over to my apt and instead of going home I would say just stay with me, well we fell in love and about a month later my mom and dad bought a nice house for me and my child. I didn't really think too much about it when he was helping me move and hanging out. His sister had too move in with his mom because she was pregnant and got kicked out out her home by the father, so she took over his bedroom. He asked me if he could stay until he found an apt, I hesitated saying yes because I knew my parents wouldn't aprove (even though I was 40 yrs old, they are very moral). But I did say yes and we lived there for 7 yrs buiulding a new business. Money was very tight and all my parents asked for was we pay the property taxes. That would have been fine except the bill went to them and my mom would call and say there due and it's $3000.00. we didn't have that kind of money. We would pay $100 on the bill but it got out of hand and my parents decided to sell the house, so we had to move. It seems ever since then most of the probelms in the relationship escalated. I could work He was struggling and it was very difficult to find good labor workers. This is a long story I know but it helps to get it all out. I know now what happened , my boyfriend started using drugs to help him work the long hard days that was needed to pay the bills. He is addicted to meth and is using needles. He is not the man I fell in love with who said I was the woman he had been looking for all his life and we planed on getting married. That's my story