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Messages By: shelly_80

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May 8, 2006, 5:23 pm CDT

A Mother's Rage

When I tuned into the show today I couldn't believe my eyes.  My jaw literally dropped in shocking disbelief that a MOTHER could do that to her children.  I've read so many posts on here from people who have been abused in one way or another and it depresses me.  My story is quite the opposite from most.  I have never one time had to deal with abuse.  However, a very dear friend of mine along with all of his siblings (one of which is my brother-in-law) were seriously abused as children.  That is why this topic affects me so much.    

  

I was disciplined (according to my behavior) but never abused.  Even though I dreaded every whippin' I got and deserved every one, I respect my parents so much for the way they disciplined me because it shaped into me the woman I am today.    

  

The couple on the show today had the sweetest children.  The mother's reasons for abusing her children had to stem from how she was treated as a child.  It's a shame that she couldn't break the cycle.  I've often wondered why people can't or won't "break the cycle"?  My first thought  was to get violently angry with her but the more I watched the more I was convinced she is sick.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending her.  I'm simply saying that there is something seriously wrong with her.  She needs mental help.    

  

I came very close to cying when Dr. Phil interviewed the kids.  It is such a bitter/sweet situaion for them because they wanted him to know how badly they're abused and wanted it to stop but at the same time they didn't want their mom to get in trouble.  That broke my heart.  To me, that says so much about them and I hope todays show will make that mother realized how wonderful her children really are.  As emotionally devistating as it is on the kids I think they need to be removed from the home until the parents can get their acts together. We all know the mom didn't stop yelling profanities and hitting the kids as soon as the dad got home from work.  So it is hard for me to believe that the dad didn't know it was happening.  I would love to see a follow-up show done with this family. 

  

Michelle 

  

 
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August 29, 2006, 4:23 pm CDT

Hurricane Katrina: One Year Later, Part 2

Quote From: deja126

  I have watched so many shows about Katrina and all the people suffering, it makes me mad and sad. I'm mad at Bush because he promised so much and gave so little, I'm sad to see how these people are living when they don't have to live this way if the government would get off their asses and help. I was thinking if everyone who could afford to, pick 1 family and send them money once a month until they get back on their feet, even $100.00, I think it would help them buy things they need and take some of the stress off. I know alot of you reading this think I'm nuts for sugesting  we do this but if we don't then who will. I know I would love to recieve help if I was in their shoes. The kids need school supplies and clothes . I'm not even from the states but my heart breaks for all of them and I can afford to helpif I could figure out  away to reach them one on one. I don't want to sen money to Res Cross or Salvation Army because I want to know the money I send goes directly into the familys pocket for things they need.

If anyone has any input to add, please do I need some advice on how to do this.

Likewise I have watched numerous documentaries about the Katrina aftermath. I am a Republican from Texas about 45 minutes from the Astrodome were many of the evacuee's came after leaving the Superdome.  I have to say, I wondered if we would even have an Astrodome after "they" got finished with it. 

 

I am sorry but I couldn't disagree with you more.  It is NOT Bush's fault for what happened in New Orleans. Have you conveniently forgotten that he is dealing with the stresses of the WAR ON TERROR?   He can only do so much.  Mayor Ray Nagin needs to take responsibility for his people and for the turn of events.  Instead begrudging what Bush hasn't done they need to be thankful for what he has done!   And who are you to say that our Government need to get off their asses and help you're not even from America?  Until you have in some way been affected by this situation, you don't have a say in what OUR GOVERNMENT DOES OR HOW MUCH THEY DO IT OKAY!  The people of New Orleans need to get off their asses and start pitching in to rebuild instead of expecting everyone else to do it for them.  I am fed up with all of it.  No one is helping huh?  Well, FEMA has been picking up the slack for a solid year now.  Don't you think that is ample time to get somewhat back to normal?  I realize it's going to take a very long time to completely rebuid but at the same time if New Orleans' own won't pitch in (Mr. Ray Nagin) what make you think we should do it for them.  Rita hit exactly 1 month after Katrina but did you see any of them coming to help those victims --NO!  They were living high and mighty in aparments that FEMA furnished yet they were too busy crying victim that they couldn't even help those who were in the exact same situation a month later. 

 

Since Houston so selflessly took in those animal our crime rate has sky rocketed.  Just two weeks ago a woman was viciously murdered at the hands of some Katrina evacuee's right down the road from where my niece and nephews go to school. So don't preach to me about helping evacuee's. 

 

And another thing!  New Orleans wasn't the only city devistaed by Katrina.  Mississippo and part of Alabama were hit too but you don't see them whining and crying that no one is helping them.  Infact they barely even got any publicity out of the deal because of New Orleans.

 

I'm sorry for those who think I've come off as being too harsh but for someone who isn't even from our Country to say that our Government isn't doing enough completely makes my blood boil!!!

 

 

 
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October 10, 2006, 2:53 pm CDT

No Remorse

Quote From: amazingrace

If Michael wants a get out of jail free card, he should consult a Monopoly game, not Dr. Phil.  The look on his face throughout this interview said it all.  He doesn't care.  He just wants out.  Glad to see I wasn't the only one who saw it.

Is this guy for real? He's only been locked up for a few months and he's whining like a baby that he can't take it in there.  Well I've got news for him. If he's going to drink and drive he's going to have to suck it up (LIKE A MAN) and deal with the consequences of his actions.  It is plain to see that he is not a realist. Does Michael know who he's talking to?  He is very bold to even think of asking Dr. Phil to get his sentence reduced.  I am shocked that Dr. Phil didn't just burst out in laughter with a 'you have got to be kidding me' attitude.   We all know Dr. Phil is smarter than that.  Michael is crazy to think Dr. Phil would buy his lies about going to high schools and colleges to witness to kids on the same path.  Especially after only serving two months in jail.  He could n't be in a better place for a drunk!  I truly believe all drunks should be locked up.  I am so proud of the ones who have been clean and sober for so long.  I wish you all the best.

 

I agree 100% with you amazinggrace.  The ONLY place he can get a get out if jail free card from a Monopoly game.  Furthermore, if he really wants to be sucessful he needs to go after Boardwalk and Park Place rather than the get out of jail free card, ha ha ha

 
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October 15, 2006, 3:39 pm CDT

10/16 Runaway Dramas

Quote From: angeden

Today's society has been set up for family's to fail.  Too much emphasis is placed on having the right home (neighborhood), expensive designer clothes, electronic gimmicks and overcrowding in schools.  I'm not suggesting that my response is perfect because it is not.  Today there are thousands of single parent homes where the one parent has to work.  So then what happens.  Kids raise themselves.  Although they are not ready to make adult decisions they are forced into it at an early age.  All it does is mix them up.  And how does that explain two parent families.  Both parents believe they need to work outside the home and their lifestyle makes you believe that is so.  Let me see...........two cars, TV for every room, designer clothes, eat out a lot (no time to cook).  Again children spend most of their time alone.  Now what we have is young independent still not mature children raising themselves. A very good recipe for sexual perverts.  Although I consider them animals I will have to say they have very good instincts about attaching themselves to lonely, insecure, immature people. Thats where young teenagers come in. They spend too much time on their own but they are lonely,  they need help with their problems and their parents aren't around to help.  Anyway, I can tell from my rambling that this is a major problem and as a society, community, neighborhood we need to do something.  What that may be is complicated and for another discussion.  I am looking forward to hearing Dr. Phil's take on this problem. 
I completely agree with you.  It truly is pitiful the way todays society has turned out.  It really depresses me to think how things are now compared to what they were when I was little.  Keep in mind I will be 26 in a couple monthes but my mother was a 'stay at home mom'  and my dad made our living.   I guess you could say we were the exception.  My two sisters and I had both parents in the home so we didn't have the issues of growing up in a broken home.  But in most cases today the parents are split up and the mother gets to raise the kids.  Or both parents are still together but work 24/7.  In both cases the kids are forced to raise theirself. It is pathetic how both parents are basically forced to work just to make ends meat.  The cost of living has sky -rocketed even in the last 10 years.  I believe that if parents were given the opportunity to spend more time at home raising their children then we would not have as many kids feel the need to run away or get hooked on drugs and alcohol.  But then again that is easy for me to say because I'm young, single and don't have any kids of my own.  But I know what I see and  I see a society spinning so far out of control and the kids are the ones reaping the consequences.  How on earth did it come to this?  I agree, something needs to be done.  Society needs to slow down and spend a little more family time. 
 
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October 16, 2006, 4:03 pm CDT

The Ramsey Family

For those still wondering if there is a male role model in the home.  Allow me to ease your curiosity.  Kim's dad works for my dad so I can honestly say that she does have her father in the home.  He works extremely hard to support his family. He is a very respectable man in my opinion. And Kim's mom......I've talked to her a few times at car shows and she is a very sweet person.  She and Rodney are just playing the hand they were dealt and doing the best they know how.  I do see hope for this family.  Dr. Phil is a miracle worker! 
 
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October 16, 2006, 5:15 pm CDT

10/16 Runaway Dramas

Quote From: sistersage

There is an easy way to control your teen-agers; think about back in the day how we were raised; much more supervision and our parents and teachers weren't afraid to take their roles as responsible adults. While I don't condone violence; everybody has to admit that stricter punishments with even, some corporate punishment kept us in check. We didn't run away from home on the most part because our parents had control. If they weren't around, there was always some cooperation. Also, about really making sure your daughters don't have sex or do drugs;  here in Montreal, most mom's I knew back in my youth and alot are still doing it today are taking them to the doctor for snap gyno examinations to ensure these girls are still virgins and give them tox screens. Guaranteed that most drugs don't leave the system for at least 21 days. It's time to stop being afraid of being responsable adults and remember the way our parents did things. Proof is we turned out much better educated, more solid work ethic and more responsable than future generations will.

I totally agree with you about controlling teen-agers.  My Mother and Father were both raised on the "Spare the rod spoil the child" moto and they raised my sisters and I the same way.  We are now 34, 31, and 25 and we live very productive lives because we not only had both parents in the home but they always agreed on our discipline. They forever told us "If one of us says no then you better not ask the other."  We respected that because we knew the consequences. Never were we abused nor did we fear it.  We just always had a mutual respect for our parents and they did with us.  Our parents have been married 35 years.  I wish more people would realize that if they want people to respect them, they first have to respect others.  Same goes for parents and their teenage kids.  It's a two way street. 

 

Unfortunately we live in a very different day and time.  Young parents are clueless when it comes to raising kids. Ninety percent of the time the kids are raising the parents. If you so much as spat your child on the hand or leg in the grocery store for whatever reason and someone witnesses, they're ready to turn you in to CPS.  The thought sickens me because most CPS workers neglect and abuse their own children.  Kind of a double standard if you ask me.  Then, if you take drastic measures to control your teens it's considered absue or assault. 

 
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October 16, 2006, 6:30 pm CDT

10/16 Runaway Dramas

Quote From: hoochie08

i am sorry i might of missed a few things.. i was only able to catch the end of the show, with that 15 year old runaway... and i completly saw me when i watched it...   i am 23 now.. and i have changed my ways.. i have changed so much, more so since i had my baby.. but things havent changed with me and my mom...   dont get me wrong, my mom wasnt into drugs like her mom is.. my mom is a very respected women in the town we live in.. she has a respectable job, and is so well known... i on the other hand, even tho i helped everyone with everything i could, even tho i would go to our seniorsitizen complecks to visit and play games with everyone... even tho i have tried to make myself as respectable as her, i never was able to.. i made mistakes, even got into drugs myself... drinkin at a younge age and dated guys who were a lot older then me.. never had sex till i was 16, my choice, and still to younge for me!
  anyways my mom and i have the same relationship this girl and her mom have.. even still.. my mom told me the same things, such as her heart had a shell around it b/c i have hurt her to much... but do you know what? it was always her fault for it.. my mom always wanted me gone, one of the times she kicked me out she stopped talkin to me for a year and a half, except once a week she would show up at my house to take me to councilling with her... the only condition i could see her an hour a week.. nothing before or after that.. just that hour.. with very little talkin...
i am gonna stop.. my point is.. everyone always makes it seem like its b/c she is 15, a child.. but from what i seen with her mom and dad.. no i think its the parents.. 15 year old "children" and younger do everything for a reason.. its not always b/c they are just being stupid.. its the parents.. it was in my case and many others i knew of too!
  i  just think that there could of been more then what meets the eyes or then what was said.. and instead of fully helping her, she is now gonna feel like everyone abandoned her.. being sent away without getting help with her and her mom together..  that just makes me feel sick.. she didnt wanna go, but her parents signed the papers, probably thinking they were doin her a favor.. i hope it was and it could of been.. if not she'll have so much more to work out!!! trust me

As a family friend of the Ramsey's I can honestly say that sending Kim to Utah was their last resort.  They made the right choice.  Maybe not from a scarred 23 year old or a rebellious 15 year old's point of view.  But had she not gone when she did she eventually would have ended up like the first girl-pregnant.  Being sent away was her help.  See when you're a minor you don't have a choice in whether or not you get treatment.  If your parents decide it is the best option then that's where you'll go.   

 

Yes, her parents have to take responsibility for their part in the situation but you make it sound like it's all their fault and it isn't.  Kim needs to own up to her part too.  She isn't guiltless by any means.  So before you lay all of the blame on the parents consider "both" parties involved.

 

I do believe there is more than meets the eye as to why she acts the way she does but that's no ones business but theirs.  Kim has been home from treatment about a week or two and I've heard from people that have since been around her, she has made remarkable changes due to Dr. Phils treatment solutions.  She's not the person she was before the show.  And I doubt her parents are either.

 

 
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October 16, 2006, 10:27 pm CDT

10/16 Runaway Dramas

Quote From: masonsmom

You can be a very sweet person but when it comes to parenting you have no excuses.  You decided to have children and you have to step up and do what is best for them  if that means working less so you can be with them every minute of the day you do it,  even if you have to sacrific things in order to cut back at work.  You are suppose to do WHATEVER IT TAKES NOT JUST WHAT IS CONVIENT TO YOU AT THE TIME  that is what a true parent would do.

I never said they did have an excuse.  Let's be realistic shall we?  If he were with them "every minute of the day" they wouldn't have a roof over their heads, a car to drive, food on the table or clothes to wear.  It 's not like he works 24/7 becuse he can't stand the turmoil at home.  He provides a good living for his family.   A man doens't work enough and he's concidered a dead beat dad, a man works hard and he's accused of neglecting his kids.  Where do you draw the line?  I remember when "a hard working man" was a good quality.  And your little spill about working less so that you can spend more time with your kids, it's a crock because my dad worked hard, long hours and he still found plenty of time to spend with us.  I nor my sisters or my mother ever felt neglected because he worked too much. 

 
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October 19, 2006, 10:33 pm CDT

10/16 Runaway Dramas

Quote From: bear_ta

You are the one that is off base. Teenagers decide to have sex all the time. Like it or not that is the truth. When I was that age no one could have swayed me, or manipulated me like that. I decide when (when I was a teenager) to have sex. Have you been to a high school lately? Have you read what "children" are putting on their msn myspace? Leave it to Beaver was many many a cynical moon ago. Children are different then young adults.

You hit the nail right smack on the head.  THANK YOU!!!  I honestly can't see how someone could actually think that young teens are just innocent by standers in all of this.  Yes, 15 is still concidered "a child " leagally but mentally they should be cooncidered adults.  Especially ones that are capable of doing things like this. It is inexcusable what any older man does with them whether or not they "BEG" for it BUT at 15 they have already gone thru puberty and they know what sex is.  They know all about "the birds and the bees".  So to me they are just as guilty as the older man.  Hence the phrase, IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO!

 

Ya know, it's funny, the parents get blamed for the way their kids turn out and the men get blamed for "taking advantage" of them.  Well, what about the girls?  Why shouldn't they be held partly responsible?  Please, someone tell me!  Don't get me wrong.  I think every pervert needs to be locked up and the key thrown away, but they're not the only ones guilty in the matter.  And furthermore, it's only RAPE if the potential victim says NO!  I am well aware of the fact that it is statutory when a minor is involved but still.....

 
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November 2, 2006, 5:52 pm CST

11/02 Gorgeous Isn’t Enough

Quote From: amani_santana

 Not to have an argument with you but i completely disagree with your statement about overweight people getting treated differently.---Although it may be true that at first glance we tend to look at the slimmer (Fit) person first, but if an overweight person comes in for an interview and has all the confidence and personality in the world, walking in like they know they are  gorgeous and any  one would be happy to be with them( and dress appropriately) i would be more drawn to the overweight person then the Fit Club.  I don't believe with our society the way it is that we put as much emphasis on weight so much as style how they carry themselves, how great they get along with other people. Now a lot of overweight people come into a building with a miserable look on their faces, and have the attitude of " you better not tell me anything about my weight" and want special treatment because they feel they don't get the same breaks as skinnier people and everyone owes them something. Now you know as well as i do NO BODY is going to want to be around someone who has a" I hate the world" attitude. Monique from the show The Parkers is a perfect example of what i am talking about. Any body can pull of being big, it just depends on how Gracefully you do it.
I agree!  I don't think being hired for certain jobs has anything with size.  It has everything to do with a good attitude,  self- image and presentation.  If you walk in for an interview and automatically think "They're going to hate me" then you more than likely won't get the job.  Even though you may not realize it people can read your body language and attitude.  However, if you walk in with your head held high then you'll get it unless you're just not "qualified."
 

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