Messages By: shelly_80

You totally missed the point.  "Think about it," Dr. Phil DID NOT give her a trip on the first episode for beating her her precious kids.  He gave it to her and the kids only after she proved she could and did change.   Man, when are people going to wisen up to the fact that it shouldn't be about her beating her kids anymore.  It should be about about the changes that where made. 

Apparently you've missed my point as well.  NO, a child that does his chorse and gets reward  with extra play time, or candy or a special trip into town is not the same as a woman that finally stopped beating her children. I didn't use that scenario to make them sound like they have anything in common in the physical sense because they really don't.  My point was on the principle..... (READ THE BOLD LETTERS VERY CAREFULLY) WHEN YOU CORRECT YOUR MISTAKES, WHATEVER THEY MAY BE, YOU DERSERVE TO BE REWARDED, ADULTS AND CHILDREN ALIKE. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE MISTAKE WAS.  YOU PEOPLE FOCUS FAR TOO MUCH ON SOMEONE'S FAULTS.  AGREE OR DISAGREE.  I REALLY COULDN'T CARE LESS.  And if Dr. Phil feels the desire to send her and her family on a two week cruise in another 8 months after they've made more progress ........ Well, I guess that his business.  By the way, the trip wasn't for her it was for her kids.

Don't get me wrong, I HATE child abuse, it angers me more than you know, but when someone who has been guilty of it tries to change and seeks help on national t.v. , I don't know about you but I can't help but give her the benefit of the doubt. All I can say is she's proved her self "TO ME." I choose not to focus so much on people faults that they are trying to correct.

Furthermore, it isn't yours, mine or anyone else's forgiveness that matters....... It's God's!  He is the one that truly knows her heart and knows in what dirction her relationship with her kids will go.  If she asks for forgiveness from Him then she will be forgiven, no questions asked.  Colossians 1:13-14 states:  "For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption,  the forgiveness of sins.  So you see we are all sinners, not just her, and to God, there are't any different degrees of sin, it's all the same.

"Oh why? an infant has no ego or developed personality. Essentially you can not be cruel to it. You can potentially hindering or manipulating its brain development by neglecting or hurting it, but there isn’t actually anything that suffers here."

A baby feel pain inside the womb.  Not to start a whole different topic but that's what gets me about abortion.  Do babies have an "ego" absolutely not but the ability to feel inflicted pain ABSOLUTELY!  Let me ask you this.  What age does an infant/child have to be before they do feel the pain of a beating, huuuuum?

joydivision, if you are really that convinced that infants do not have developed personalities, in wich to feel pain YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN! Before they are even allowed to leave the hospital after birth they have to have a series of shots and everyone knows they scream and cry.  If that is evidence of being able to feel pain then I guess I don't know what is. 

And what do you mean by "what is it?" ?  Just curious to know if you made those comments soley to get a rise out of us or are you really serious? 

Yes, I agree with you,"one is labeled "punishment" and the other is labeled "discipline." They are both just different degrees of the same thing."  You've heard of the saying, "there is a very fine line......"  Most certainly there is.  You would think it would be up to the parent(s) discretion as to "where and how hard" but I guess in scenarios like this where the parents are abusing their authority it totally blows that theory out of the water.  Then a more responsible adult NEEDS to step in.  Anyway, the difference in a spanking and a beating to me is whether or not you leave any lasting marks. There wasn't a spanking that I received that I didn't deserve.  I deserved every lick I got and probably deserved more.  NEVER did either of my parents leave any kind of marks or bruising on me, that's why I state what I believe to be the difference between the two.  I had a strong tendency to embarrass both of my older sisters, infront of their boyfriends, no less.  I guess I thought it was funny until they would call for dad, then I knew I was in big trouble.  Both of my parents were very controlled in their discipline, like I stated above, they NEVER abused me. I firmly believe that the discipline I received as a child is what shaped me into the respectable woman I am today.  Discipline, when used properly, teaches you to have respect for others in the long run. I also believe in controlled discipline if a child does not do what he/she is told and most definitely when the child could harm his or herself.  I do believe in a spat or two (on the hand), 6-9 months to 1 year of age or at whatever point they are able to get into to things they shouldn't.  But it's anyone's guess what the right age is, that's just my preferance.  I think, by the time they're capable of plainly speaking, they're also big enough to get a spat or two on the rear or leg-just enough to make it sting but not leave any marks.  However, not to contradict anything I've just said but I have tried Super Nanny's techniques on my nieces and nephews also and I find they work just as effective.  She is a God send!

No, Jennifer is not by any means innocent concidering the fact that she had a affair BUT it must not have bothered him too bad because she's the one that wanted out after she got caught and he's the one going to EXTREME lengths to keep her.  Maybe it was all payback for the affair.  Maybe not!  It seems to me that all of his acctions point to him just being a "out of control" control freak (ironically enough); nothing points to him resenting her for cheating.  If he had HE would sought the divorse, if he were not having serious mental issues.

Judge me if you like but all the sadistic things he did to her is far worse than what she did.  I am very much against cheating on your spouse but everything he did to her for revenge DOES NOT  JUSTIFY.  An immediate divorse would have and most would cheated back but I've never in my life heard of going this far.

I was sort of shocked too when Dr. Phil said he was going to ask Jennifer to hold off on filing for divorse.  Then I thought what if they went through a bitter divorse, he moved on to another woman and did the same to her.  There are thousands of women on these boards that have been through the same or similar situations I neveer have so I can't say really, but I do think he needs serious mental help regardless of her filing or not.  I do know that Dr. Phil got Jeffs word and he won't let him harm a hair on her head.  I agree with those that say it's going to take a lot longer than two weeks to cure him of behavior that he has taken a lifetime to build.  I'll be very surprised if he makes it  the whole two weeks and really does change. 

True, no physical abuse was ever brought up but did you conveniently forget the segment where he admitted to locking her in  the basement, wiring her car with GPS and a mic so that he could listen to her conversations with friends, if anyone so happened to be in there with her.   Oh yes, we can't for get the time(s) he took nude photos of her in the tanning bed, and shall I mention the part where she said she would go to bed fully clothed and wake up the next morning wearing nothing, how twisted is that?

Furthermore, she DESPERATLY needs to get those kids out of that sick situation before they turn out the same way. 

I hope he does get help because if she were to file for a divorse and he eventually realize that he needs to move on, no other woman would deserve that either.

When I saw the show today I couldn't believe my eyes.  How could ANY ADULT treat a child that way?  That is abuse in more ways than one by both "parents!"  Then the more I watched the more I was convinced that the mother isn't "all there" either.  My mom was watching with me and brought to my attention that the son was just as disrespectful to the step dad. RESPECT IS A TWO WAY STREET! It doesn't matter who it is, which ever one wants respect needs to learn to give it as well. No one can honestly demand respect and not be willing to give back. NOTHING justifies child abuse but now I can understand why the step dad goes balistic- I would to if I were in that situation.  He would be smart to get out.  I do not agree with his intimidating tactics toward those children, especially the step daughter sitiing on the couch in the fetal position, I might add.  She deserved none of that. 

They have been together for three or four years, married three months.  I have a hard time believing that in those three or four years she didn't know that he had a short fuse.  Likewise, in that same time, he had to know that she would never be the type to back him up, if he really was sincere in the first few "controlled" attempts to discipline them.  That is a prime example of being "unevenly yoked." 2 Corinthians 6:14