Messages By: princess27

First off, I want to say that one mother who bashed her daughter by treating her so poorly and the other one like a princess all I could do is feel for them b/c that mom was REALLY CLUELESS, and they are going to grow up with a lot of problems. I swear Dr. Phil is putting on horrible moms lately just to get me going! She was one of the most shallow people ever, and she obviously DID NOT CARE about it, like there was a piece of her brain missing where smarts should be. 

Now, I want to say that, at times, I'm sure when I was a teen, I was a bit vain and shallow. I only went out with guys who were big, toned, and model-like. I placed high importance on my looks and most people said I looked like Madonna and/or Sharon Stone. I didn't spend hours in the mirror or anything, but I thought looks got people somewhere. I would be embarassed to be in somebody's shoddy-looking car, if my hair wasn't "perfect" and this and that. Somewhere in my twenties I got over it. I knew what I could get from guys just being a girl, my shoes tied even, free lunches, etc! I'm not that kind of person anymore!!!! 

First, I had to get over that when I had my daughter and got stretchmarks. I decided not to stress out over something so trivial. They are like a symbol of my daughter, and I love her more than anything, so they don't bother me, and they've never bothered any handsome men, either! (LOL). Then I got a thyroid problem in my mid-twenties, and ballooned up 80 lbs. Was I still cute? Yes, but overweight (and not my fault). Again, how embarassing to have people think that I gained all that weight sitting around eating cake or something when, really, I've always been an athlete. It forced me to look at myself differently. I don't place high expectations on looks. I have gained, then lost with my children (weight) and overall it just makes me FEEL better about myself than anything. I did used to love showing it off, how good I could still look to people from my past, but I don't do that anymore or think about that stuff anymore.  

Since I had a history of dating men who were of model-status, I have actually found my husband, who I am very attracted to, and who is no model by any means. He is probably the opposite of what I would've ever normally picked, tall, thin, and will lose his hair early, etc. So I think I've gotten over these "looks" stuff, and now I can see the REAL BEAUTY in life. I also realized it, when my mom who is very overweight, got over the embarassment of wearing shorts, now she wears them (and heck, she's cute in them), and she runs into people from her highschool all the time, and she has no apologies for them, she is not sorry she looks different. She got over it..good for her! 

I believe it takes a health issue, some type of problem that can really ruin someone's looks to get them to finally realize that that isn't what the world is made up of.  

I also used to judge people a lot, I totally don't do that now. Oh my gosh this woman needs to get this done and that done, etc. Now would be mad if someone looked at me that way. No more judging, etc. for me. I probably placed a lot of high-priority on it b/c I was the girl everyone called "beautiful", gorgeous, and complimented me 30 times per day (my sister, my mom, my aunts, my friends, complete strangers..) and I lived for those compliments. Until I was in my 20's those kind of compliments stop abruptly. I was actually living superficially on compliments by strangers and attention from men. That daughter who was on the show that is treated better, is really getting set up in life for when people no longer think she's cute in her 20's b/c she has to go to work in the real world and it's considered sexual harrassment, she is going to feel bad about herself! 

and, I should mention my sister also tears herself apart when she is thin, looks great, her hair is wonderful, etc. Looks better than any 34 year old I know and yet if you talked to her, she would tell you she was some hideous creature and that I am the gorgeous one, huh? Now I think she has body dysmorphic disorder to some extent! 

I also believe it is your perception of yourself. I bet you are not as unattractive as you think you are but that you have told yourself that so much, you actually believe other people think that about you!  

Some people are just photogenic and some are not, trust me. My husband is way more handsome in real life than in pics. I always joke around with him that if he were to try to have picked me up thru online pics, I would've went, huh? And the other way around, my ex is absolutely gorgeous in pics, (he is in person, too) but he never has a girlfriend b/c of his personality (it's actually quite sad).  

Haven't you ever known people who weren't that good looking, but they radiated so much confidence that others thought they were too, and they got lots of dates, and were very happy with life?  

Or haven't you ever been NOT attracted to someone, only to get to know them a little while and become attracted to them?