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Messages By: cindyeb

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May 10, 2006, 5:04 am CDT

The Shock of it all!

Dear Dr.Phil- 

I have never been so completely devastated to sit and watch this VERY important show. I am a CASA volunteer, a court appointed special advocate who is the voice for a child in the courts. I was sickened by this woman's brutal attack on her son. I only hope and pray, that the authorities intervened and have removed those children until she gets help. They can be placed with a family member or a friend or neighbor, not necessarily instantly placed in foster care. What beautiful and smart children they are. They deserve a life of happiness and joy and everything should be done to make sure that happens. I get nightmares thinking of this poor child going to school after being attacked by his mother.How sad! 

Please, please, Dr.Phil, let us know how this story is going. To me, it was obvious that the father was just as much at fault with the threat of the stick( which I hope he sends you). Again, PLEASE keep us up on these children. They need to be out of this home instantly. I've seen children taken out of houses for less abuse than this. 

Thanks for bringing her story to our attention. You have hopefully saved these childrens' lives. 

 
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October 6, 2006, 2:13 pm CDT

HELP THE BOYS !!!

Dr.Phil,

I know this show hasn't even been aired yet, so I might see a resolution to some of my concerns on Monday, but I think our concerns should definitely be on these poor boys. As a CASA Volunteer (Court Appointed Special Advocate, a voice for children in the courts), these boys need a CASA volunteer in their area and/or an ad litem, to help these boys get into a healthy environment. This mother is a liar and can't be trusted and know how to play to the camera. The father will never forgive her and will continue to make her life miserable. To hear a young boy even discuss the word "suicide" is unforgiving. They should be more worried about football games,cartoons, and taking care of zits!

Dr. Phil, I know you will take care of this situation, and I look forward to see the final show. I'm worried, but hopeful. The parents are more immature than these wonderful boys. I loved how they felt a sense of relief after your chat with them. How wonderful for them to finally feel a sense of relief knowing none of this is their fault. I hope they will be OK.

 

 

 
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October 7, 2006, 12:18 pm CDT

Custody Battles Gone Bad

Quote From: davewriter

Hi Cindy.

 

I have to say that I agree with you in most of your message.  If by, "The parents are more immature than these wonderful boys", you're talking about both Todd and Jessica, then I'd have to disagree.  I've been watching this serial for every part except the first one (Shaw Cable was out all day that day, no TV, no internet) and it seems that Todd is a lot more mature than Jessica ever would be.  Come on, if she was going to have an affair, you'd think she'd at least wait until she was in the process of the divorce.  She could be compared to Sharon Newman on The Young and the Restless, and that's a FICTIONAL character of a show that entirely FICTION.  Todd may be a louse in his own right, but as far as I'm concerned, Jessica is getting exactly what was coming to her (especially with the MIL giving her hell last week.)

 

In my very humble opinion, I think Todd should receive custody of the boys, and, instead of being both Mom and Dad to them, he should concentrate on just being a Dad to them - playing sports with them, volunteering at the local Boys and Girls Club, and taking all three boys with them, helping them with homework (depending on his own expertise and attitude in certain subjects.)  Not to put down all mothers of sons, but I do not believe that all boys need to have a mother, contrary to popular belief.  Dr. Phil said it best: "The most important relationship a child will ever have is that of a same-sex parent."  Perhaps the only exception I'd make is if he meets a single woman with a son (13 or younger) whose own father is not in his life.

 

PS: Cindy, you say you're a Court Appointed Special Advocate, a voice for children in the courts.  I see you how posted messages in this and the "Angry Mom" board.  Please go to the show Archives, click on this month, and select the topic "Custody Battles Gone Bad" (dated 10/04, just this Wednesday.)  We need your expertise on THAT message board, too.

 David-this show made me ill! Speaking as a human being, not even as an advocate, what was the judge thinking? I couldn't stand to listen to one word that came out of the father's mouth. I didn't even trust the attorney! This is a perfect time to have used a CASA in the courtroom. At least in Texas, the judges value their opinions and really do listen to our findings. We have access to records, visitations, Dr.'s records and can go to medical appointments, visit schools, talk with teaches, etc... This little boy was too young to be in school, but I do fear for him. I'm not sure running and hiding is the answer, although, Lord knows what I'd do if faced with that situation.
I do think this man is evil and could hurt the grandmother to get to the child.
Again, what was the judge thinking? He has been away from his "son" for so long, how does he know he can parent. If this man works, who will take care of the boy during the day-daycare or a sitter? Right now he lives in a loving environment with Grandma who only has his interest at heart.
SAD,SAD,SAD! This man didn't even receive adequate punishment for KILLING his beloved son's MOMMY!
That's my opinion.(For what it's worth!)
 
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November 6, 2006, 2:03 pm CST

Call the Authorities!!

As I have written before, I am a Child Advocate. I only hope and pray that this show ends with this father being taken into custody. Legally, Dr.Phil HAS to report this and this report can't be any bigger than national T.V.! This guy shouldn't ever have access to his daughter nor his new baby, but that's my opinion.

I don't know what this video is about, but this guy should definitely be arrested after the show. Pretty slick how he tried to fool the test. He's not so stupid after all!

Dr. Phil, do what's right, and put him away.

 

Cindy

 
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November 6, 2006, 2:10 pm CST

11/06 The Lie Detector

Quote From: schnik1508

I don't know what the truth is but what i do know is that lie detector tests are not admissible in court. If you are a sociopath you can fool a test and if you are extremely anxious you can fail a test even if you aren't guilty.
Please, if you don't think this guy is being deceptive, you need to rewatch this show. This guy wouldn't know the truth if it hit him in the face! It was quite obvious he was trying to mess with the polygraph. For someone who claimed to not know a lot about computers, he had a pretty disgusting e-mail address!
 
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November 28, 2006, 2:06 pm CST

Oh MY GOSH!

I am stunned! I can not believe what I'm seeing. This man is incredible. He wouldn't know how to tell the truth if his life depended on it. I would be curious to know if this judge is elected or appointed. Why would he agree to supervised visits on the show, but when it came down to it, he declined. To me, this shows his character or lack thereof.

As a CASA , voice for a child in the court, I have encountered both helpful and lousy CPS workers. In Texas,as everywhere, they are swamped. It's the judge in this case that concerns me.

I also have to say, I am a bit concerned about Mom and Grandma. I feel they are stirring up trouble and it might backfire. It's obvious that the Grandma has had issues with the police, and I hope they're not "cutting off their noses to spite their faces!" As for the idea of a billboard, I think that is a terrible idea and does put the little girl in a spotlight that she has not asked for.

I just found this show almost more disturbing than the earlier ones because these adults are not being trustworthy and are fighting each other and not FOR Kalie. Please, find a CASA in their area or as Dr.Phil said, an ad litem. This child needs help. Now the truth is as clear as mud! I don't trust the father and feel he is guilty of some wrong-doing, but I'm starting to have doubts about the mom and grandmother. I feel they're becoming huge troublemakers and trust me ladies, it's not going to help your case. It could hurt it!!

 
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November 28, 2006, 2:14 pm CST

11/28 Jeremy Returns

Quote From: psyche97

I agree that it is important to not rush to judgement because in America one is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty.  However, Jeremy's behavior on the Dr. Phil show is not helping his case if he is innocent.  He is being evasive, hostile, and uncooperative which makes his arguments seem less credible.  He comes across as arrogant and my gut tells me that he is a smooth talker who has learned from years of experience how to be manipulative. If he was really innocent then he would voluntarily agree to supervision during his visits.  This issue is not about him and his ego.  I actually feel sorry for Jeremy.  I do believe that he was abused as a child even though he denies it. I think he is in an arrested state of development and that he was never able to move forward emotionally due to the traumas that he endured as a child.  I believe that he is attracted to young children and girls because emotionally he is on their level.  He is stuck emotionaly at the age of 12 or 13.  He is still a wounded child but he is refusing help.  Maybe because it would be too painful and scary to face what he has been through.  But, unfortunately, I do believe that he is a danger to his daughter and that he will always be a threat to children.  It is too bad that something more dramatic and horrible will have to happen in order for their to be concrete evidence against him.  He is relatively skilled at hiding his sexually deviant behavior.  It is his daughter who will continually suffer until he makes a big enough mistake that will demonstrate that he has a problem.  All we can do is pray that it happens quickly so that his daughter does not have to continue to endure this abuse.   I wish that CPS workers were all required to have professional licenses in order to perform their jobs.  So many of them are not well trained and they don't have the ability to know when situations need to be taken seriously.  If Jeremy ever is found guilty of these charges then the CPS worker on this case also needs to be held accountable and maybe the judge as well because that would be an indication that they all have very poor judgement.  After all, in these situations CPS and the courts are the only hope we have in terms of protecting our children.  If they don't have the insight and proper judgement to protect our children in cases that are not always clear cut then what are we as parents to do?  We rely on them to be able to make good decisions and air on the side of safety when a child's well -being is in jeopardy.  I don't think they are doing that in this case. 

You said it beautifully.  Very profound and intelligent!

Thank you!

 
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November 28, 2006, 2:25 pm CST

CASA Viewer

Quote From: leeanna

I'm a CASA and, even though all the facts are not at my feet,  my gut tells me that something is truly amiss here. With nothing more to go on than what I have seen on this show, I would recommend to the court that supervised visitation be ordered. If there is a question, Kali's safety must come first.

Would love to hear from you CASA's out there.

Hi!

I am a CASA Viewer and have written in today, I just haven't found it yet. I completely agree with you. To me, how could there not be supervised visitation. If there is any doubt at all, it's better to be safe than sorry. To me, the judge is a HUGE problem in this case and that's where the big problem lies. The mom and dad can fight all they want, but this judge should find in favor of what is safe for that child.

 
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December 4, 2006, 4:19 am CST

Tragedy in Houston

 Dr. Phil,
I just wanted to share a sad story that I read in our paper over the weekend. As a CASA viewer, I agree with your feelings about most CPS workers. Most are good and try to do the best they can under awful circumstances. I hate when I read these messages where people generalize about ALL CPS workers. My experiences have been mostly positive.
I read with horror about a 20 month old baby who was terribly abused. The CPS workers begged and pleaded with the judge to not put the baby back in the home with the mother. The judge said he felt it was the best thing for the baby. Do I need to tell you what happened? I believe it was 6 weeks after the baby was returned home, she was killed by her mother!! She suffered from multiple broken bones and bruises.
The judge did say he felt terrible. Well too little too late. Why are these courts not using more ad litems or more CASA volunteers. In Galveston, the judges really listen to the Casas and they respect their opinions.
So tragic!
Cindy, CASA viewer
 
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January 16, 2007, 5:29 am CST

01/15 The Dr. Phil House: Teen Intervention, Part 2

 I'm sorry, i can not for the life of me understand what Enza's real purpose is in this intervention. I find it hard to believe that her ranting and raving, screaming and pointing her finger in Kim's face at all times, is what is needed at this time. I really want to know her real agenda. Is it me, or was it obvious that she's doing everything in her power to turn Alex against her mother and grandmother. THAT is not what Alex needs now. She needs to rebuild a relationship with her mom. The back-stabbing and secret talks about Kim to her own daughter by Enza, were totally inappropriate. If she wants to help as much as she claims, maybe she should back off and let Dr.Phil get help for the mom and daughter. Enza shouldn't have brought all of this negativity and hostility into the house.
I've heard it a million times- as mothers, we sometimes do the best we can with what resourses we have or what we know how to do. I think if Dr.Phil can get Kim the parenting tools she needs and she stops her partying, maybe she and Alex can reconnect and Alex will settle down. It's so obvious that Alex is looking for love in all the wrong places. It needs to come from mom and grandma, and not the bitter, nosey aunt. If she really wants to help Alex as she screams that she does, then back off and let them work on their family!
 

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