Messages By: cindyeb

Hi Cindy.

I have to say that I agree with you in most of your message.  If by, "The parents are more immature than these wonderful boys", you're talking about both Todd and Jessica, then I'd have to disagree.  I've been watching this serial for every part except the first one (Shaw Cable was out all day that day, no TV, no internet) and it seems that Todd is a lot more mature than Jessica ever would be.  Come on, if she was going to have an affair, you'd think she'd at least wait until she was in the process of the divorce.  She could be compared to Sharon Newman on The Young and the Restless, and that's a FICTIONAL character of a show that entirely FICTION.  Todd may be a louse in his own right, but as far as I'm concerned, Jessica is getting exactly what was coming to her (especially with the MIL giving her hell last week.)

In my very humble opinion, I think Todd should receive custody of the boys, and, instead of being both Mom and Dad to them, he should concentrate on just being a Dad to them - playing sports with them, volunteering at the local Boys and Girls Club, and taking all three boys with them, helping them with homework (depending on his own expertise and attitude in certain subjects.)  Not to put down all mothers of sons, but I do not believe that all boys need to have a mother, contrary to popular belief.  Dr. Phil said it best: "The most important relationship a child will ever have is that of a same-sex parent."  Perhaps the only exception I'd make is if he meets a single woman with a son (13 or younger) whose own father is not in his life.

PS: Cindy, you say you're a Court Appointed Special Advocate, a voice for children in the courts.  I see you how posted messages in this and the "Angry Mom" board.  Please go to the show Archives, click on this month, and select the topic "Custody Battles Gone Bad" (dated 10/04, just this Wednesday.)  We need your expertise on THAT message board, too.

I agree that it is important to not rush to judgement because in America one is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty.  However, Jeremy's behavior on the Dr. Phil show is not helping his case if he is innocent.  He is being evasive, hostile, and uncooperative which makes his arguments seem less credible.  He comes across as arrogant and my gut tells me that he is a smooth talker who has learned from years of experience how to be manipulative. If he was really innocent then he would voluntarily agree to supervision during his visits.  This issue is not about him and his ego.  I actually feel sorry for Jeremy.  I do believe that he was abused as a child even though he denies it. I think he is in an arrested state of development and that he was never able to move forward emotionally due to the traumas that he endured as a child.  I believe that he is attracted to young children and girls because emotionally he is on their level.  He is stuck emotionaly at the age of 12 or 13.  He is still a wounded child but he is refusing help.  Maybe because it would be too painful and scary to face what he has been through.  But, unfortunately, I do believe that he is a danger to his daughter and that he will always be a threat to children.  It is too bad that something more dramatic and horrible will have to happen in order for their to be concrete evidence against him.  He is relatively skilled at hiding his sexually deviant behavior.  It is his daughter who will continually suffer until he makes a big enough mistake that will demonstrate that he has a problem.  All we can do is pray that it happens quickly so that his daughter does not have to continue to endure this abuse.   I wish that CPS workers were all required to have professional licenses in order to perform their jobs.  So many of them are not well trained and they don't have the ability to know when situations need to be taken seriously.  If Jeremy ever is found guilty of these charges then the CPS worker on this case also needs to be held accountable and maybe the judge as well because that would be an indication that they all have very poor judgement.  After all, in these situations CPS and the courts are the only hope we have in terms of protecting our children.  If they don't have the insight and proper judgement to protect our children in cases that are not always clear cut then what are we as parents to do?  We rely on them to be able to make good decisions and air on the side of safety when a child's well -being is in jeopardy.  I don't think they are doing that in this case. 

I'm a CASA and, even though all the facts are not at my feet,  my gut tells me that something is truly amiss here. With nothing more to go on than what I have seen on this show, I would recommend to the court that supervised visitation be ordered. If there is a question, Kali's safety must come first.

Would love to hear from you CASA's out there.