Messages By: broker1

What percipitates the initial action of a man/woman to cheat? Obviously, there can be many issues  

that will cause a person to initate an action for infidelity.  Alcohol, Drugs, Depression,insecurity, and the list goes on. If a relationship is solid, the odds are that cheating will not take place.  Each person in a relationship needs to feel loved and if that is not achieved during any part of a relationhip, then it may initiate a situation where the incentive is to "cheat ".  If you in a commited relationship, obviously it is a deal breaker, but before you throw in the towel, each take a look at yourself as there is something missing in the equasion.  When you look for love (in all the wrong places) it is bound at some point to come back to haunt you.  If you act impulsively and ready to throw one or the other to the curb, then you may be acting irrationally and not taking the time to get to the core of the problem.  Forgivness is a virtue.  Yes, there is emotional pain, but if the cheater  

has to be submissive for the rest of their life and  become subordinate; as a pentice; then a relationship will not last.  When one becomes dominate over the other, it gives rise for disaster.  

In conclusion, "look beyond the surface before we pass jusdgement"  

Dear Mother:  I can understand where you are coming from and maybe as a man I can not fully appreciate your feelings as a women; however It is obvious your husband loves you and that is number one.  People who look down upon you because your not the image they expect a woman 

should be;  tells me these people lack character.  I've told my wife, "its not what's between your shoulders or between you legs that matters, but what's between your ears."  We all wish our bodies could be different, but "what you see is what you get" and if your confident about who you 

are, just feel sorry for those who lack understanding and comapssion.  With six children, it sounds 

like you have  done well.  Whatever you decide, you have my vote. Ed 

My wife and I are avid watchers; however, this young man was in a lot of pain and we watched you manipulate him to confess his guilt and accused him of immature behavior; which we agree. In his present state of mind he does have the potential for violence.  YOu sentationalized his cheating and gave her passage; yet they are not married.  Fidelity is important, single or otherwise and if there is a relationship, then fidelity involves both people.  It was distrubing to see you chastise a man who was not capable of making correct choices.  What he has been looking for is: somone to

love and he did so in all the wrong places.  His childhood was stressed, It is questionable if he was ever told that someone loved him.  It never happened to me growing up, so I've been there and can relate to him. It dawned on me one day and I realized, I was looking to be loved and if you have not  been there; you can not relate. I'm a bit older than you and I find it irritating when you know someone in his condition and you expound on his weakness.  You told his girl friend,"you should not marry this man.", What should have been said is:" You should not marry this man until he gets the  help needs and I'm going to get you that help."  Finally, you said you would help him.  Be careful how you attempt to put words in peoples mouths.  You pull no punches and that is great

in many  ways and your there to help and do not be offended when someone does not totally agree

all the time with your tact.  It still a great show.  Thanks Ed

Put your foot down and tell him like it is and do not waste another moment.  You have to earn the respect for each other.  You have to work as a team.  MY wife can do what she pleases, go where she wants, spend what she wants. She has her money, I have mine and we have ours.

We have been married twelve years and have never had an argument. Sure, we have different points of view and there are issues she is better qualified to resolve and the same applies to me. I think some of these so called men out there better take a look at themselves and to coin

a phrase from Dr. Phil, "how's that working for you?"  In many relationships one or the other

wants to be the dominant one, but sooner or later the relationship generally comes to an end.

If you want that to happen, keep doing what your doing.  Your right on Robin.

Open up your own checking account today and gradually put your money in and eventually you should have enough.  If he gives you money to buy something, buy, bring it home, then return it

and get the money and deposit it your account.  When you have enough, stand on your own two feet and tell him what you expect and that you are not going to tolerate it anymore.  You do not have to be greedy just practical and if you can demonstrate to him that  your practrical, he no doubt will loosen up, if not, pack up all you can and move out while he is at work. " If you want me back", it's on my terms and if that does not work, you do not need him anyway.  There are still plenty of good men out there.

 It  is evident this woman was angry and apparantly is not going to let her husband live it down. He will pay for indescression for the rest of  his married life.  Sometimes when a spouse cheats

the other person should take a look at themselves and ask if I contributed to the infidelity.  Provokeing or accusing the other because of jealousy can cause the other to seek someone who  will listen and who has some compassion and understanding; but unfortuately it becomes a relationship.  In this case the wife has all the attributes of a controlling wife and he appears to be passive.  For her to express herself on national tv suggests the type of person she is.  She has every right to be upset.  Getting to the core of the problem will be the solution.  For her to suggest to her children how their daddy was does not speak well of her.  His infidelity was a serious error in judgement and if there are issues that were necessary to resolve, then

appropriate steps should have be taken.  I will be surprised if his wife will ever let go of her distrust.  He recognizes what he did was wrong and he accepts responsibility for his actions.

He is paying the emotional price for indescression but if he allows her to continue to throw

it in his face at every opportunity; he should walk away from her.  There is a route to every

decission that is made and through counselling you may be able to resolve it. Ed

I think we as a society have this compulsion to accuse someone before we get all the facts.

Obviously, we want to protect the child in any way we can; however I'm opposed to creating a trial

atmosphere.  I'm against doing these type of shows where there is so much gray area.  We are

not sure who is telling the truth and we have to be careful before we make accusations that may

not hold  up.  So much of the news we get today is distorted.  Yes, locking the door raises some

serious questions.  When the role is reversed from mothers with their sons changing diapers,

do we question what they do?  If the child is  violated and there is evidence to support the allegations, then the consequences should fit the crime; but before we go off the deep end

and and with a  "hang him attitude";  Be careful and make sure you have your facts correct!

This is one of the better shows as it portrayed people for who they really were.  Most of us have

not experienced the ridicule or the harassment. The cross section of people were perfect for the

expirement which gave your guests an opportunity to look at themselves.  Our parents can be a

strong influence on how we look at people; they often condition our minds on how we look at other people and unless you have been there; we can not appreciate how the other person feels.  I'm glad you had this show.

I'm from the old school and I apalled by the action of some students today.  Teachers need to take back the schools and have zero tolerance for unacceptable behavior. Students need to be taught from the start that room for inappropriate behavior and that there will be serious consequences.  I believe teachers need to be fair and not provoke a situation and care about thier students.  Stop catering to unruly behavior.  As adults we have no one to blame but ourselves.  Administrators need to take action and move toward resolving issues.  Doing so

early on in a childs development should minimize potential problems.  When I was in school

there was respect regardless if you cared for the teacher and parents need to support the teachers.