Quote From: captain225When I watched this program, I had no idea what I was in for. When I saw the way that mother was beating, yelling and degrading her son like that, all of my pent up anger and agression at my own parents instantly boiled to the surface. I was watching the fathers reaction while he watched the footage for the first time, I did not see enough surprise and disgust from him as there would have been from me if that was my wife treating my children that way. When Dr. Phil asked the father what he thought of the footage and his reply was "I had no idea, I'm kinda shocked", I was so full of anger at that point that I was yelling at the TV at the father.
I was beaten and abused as a child very much in the same way as that boy, but from my father and I had a few broken arms and ribs to live through, the awful thing is that my mother would instigate it. I admit I was not an easy child to deal with. When ever I got in trouble my mom would say to me, "just wait until your father gets home" which always meant a sever beating. A beating with, fists, belts, feet, stairs...it was loads of fun <sigh>. The crazy thing was that my mother would stand in the back-ground and be yelling to my dad to stop and once he was done, she would console me by saying "it was my own fault and for my own good" (what a load of crap). After awhile when she would try and console me and I would let her know that it was her fault that dad beat me and that I blamed her.
This actually began when I was a baby, but became more sever as I got older, once when I was 15 my father came after me and I had had enough, he struck me across the face and I just looked at him, no tears, no pleading, just stared into his eyes. This made him even more pissed. I saw him clenching his fist and he began to swing a punch at me, I grab his fist before he could hit me and I smashed him back and back and back ( it felt so good), he began to swing back and the next thing I remember is waking up with a suit case in front of me with a note telling me to move out and never come back. Before I left I went to my father (which I was no longer afraid of) and told him that if he ever laid a hand on my younger brothers and sisters that I would be back and he would pay dearly for his mistakes. My mother said that his temper was never as bad after that day and that he never got after the kids as bad as he did me.
It took me many years before I wanted to try and have a relationship with my dad again and it is minimal at best. I know he feels bad for how he was, but I have never told him how it made me feel. After watching this program and noticing how quickly my anger, hate and rage came to the surface, I realize that I am not ok and that I need to have a good long talk with both my parents...which may or may not ruin what relationship we do have, but at this point, I dont care.
I always swore that I never wanted to be like the dad I had, but sometimes I feel him coming through me and I hate him and her for that. I am such a kind person by nature, but I was beatn' so much that its almost like a natural reaction to feel such agression towards my own children. I will let you know that I have never beatn' my own children and never will, it is a battle within me that I fight all of the time, but I am winning the fight and my kids will never see the father that I knew.
I dont know if I should thank Dr. Phil for having this episode or not, because of this program I know now that I am not over the hate and anger for my parents as I thought I was. But I guess this is good because now I can seek the help I need.
This woman, on this episode, should have gotten help, long before 5 kids! Her husband is actually teaming with her against the children. She's a very selfish woman; she chose not to get help.
Although, I have never been abused, I have two close friends that were, often.
They, like yourself, are intelligent and know there's no "Fine Line" between right
and wrong. What's wrong is wrong and it was never their fault. They were the
babies, they were the children. Where were their caring role models?
They also know they didn't deserve to be hit, no one does. Absolutely nothing was
their fault, they were babies, they were children.
Their parents were supposed to protect them from people like this.
Both friends chose not to have relationships with their mothers and fathers. Their parents don't
deserve the piece of mind that comes from having a son or daughter, closeby.
My friends now have peace in their lives. They relocated, one has many wonderful friends,
the other has wonderful friends and in-laws.
They're happy and trusting and most of all, at "Peace".
From your letter, I can tell you're strong. Bless you for stopping the "Domino Effect", and not
hitting your children. They sound like they have a great Dad with a great head on his shoulders.
I hope you will move away from anxiety and continue with your own children and friends that deserve your time and attention, and bring you happiness and peace.
Best Wishes for you.
