Messages By: abigfanabc

I only got to see part of the show today, but from what I saw, she's doing fine.  In fact, for someone who got pregnant at 15, she's doing great.  It looks like she'll go to college, get a degree, get the job of her dreams and save her money and buy a house.  

Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her, but for someone who didn't do it "right" she's getting along pretty well.    

Now take someone like me - I graduated high school with pretty good grades, but I didn't get to go to college (I couldn't afford it - back then they didn't hand out scholarships to just about everyone like they do today).  I've worked since I was 13.  I got married and 7 years later at the age of 28 got pregnant for the first time in my life.  Then after 20 years of marriage (with financial problems the entire time), I got divorced, and now at the age of 44 (45 in one month!), I am struggling on my own trying to raise a 16 year old daughter - who has managed to get this far without being sexually active and getting pregnant - I guess I'm doing something right.   

I would love to own my own home one day, but I don't see that happening.  How do people afford houses today?  I don't understand it.  And how does someone like me, living paycheck to paycheck, do it?  I'm sure the girl "who did it all wrong" will own a house before I do.  

Yes, I agree, but why do only "certain mothers" get help?  I don't make much money, but my income is always at that imaginary line where I don't qualify for help.  And I know I could sure use it.  How does a person find out about these programs?  I would love it if I could better myself, get an education and find a decent paying job.  

I don't live an extravagant life.  My rent is 40% of my income.  Usually the safe range is 25%.  I have to tell my daughter no all of the time.  I'm sure she's sick of it and the first chance that she gets after she turns 18 in a couple of years, (she won't go to college if she doesn't get a scholarship) she'll move in with some guy with a job and think her life will be better.  Which is the same thing that I did.  I just wish I could have broken the cycle and gave her a better life.  I try to use my life as an example to her all of the time, but I don't seem to get through to her.  

Not as an example of how to go about life, but as an example of how not to do it. I've seen a saying somewhere that is something like - "If I can't be a good example, then maybe I can be a horrible warning!"  That's the point that I'm trying to get across to her.  I want to get a T-Shirt with that saying on it.   

She complains about our life all of the time.  She wasn't around when I was 19 and stupid (I had her just 3 weeks shy of turning 29), when I decided that if I was going to have to work full time to go to college, I might as well just work full time.   

You would think that she would want to do something about it though.  And she does have the opportunity to.  Where I live, the state will pay for college if you maintain a 2.5 gpa.  She's usually just under that with a 2.3.  I try to convince her that if she works a little harder (I don't have extra money for tutors for the couple of subjects where she has problems) then she'll be able to attend college on a scholarship and not have to work full time at the same time.  But she complains that it's hard.  And I tell her that it's even harder to scrub other people's toilets - which I have had to do for extra money.   

Thanks for all of the info!  I definitely will check into that.  I'm not in the Baton Rouge or Hammond area, but I'll see if there's anything in my area.  

I am hoping that my daughter gets a TOPS scholarship.  She only needs to works a little harder!  If they only had that when I was a teenager all of those years ago!  

I already own the Dr. Laura book.  It's been packed away in one of many boxes somewhere in my apartment.  I've moved 4 times in the last 5 years, so needless to say, some things stay packed.  Maybe I can find the book before she turns 18!  One day I hope to settle down permanently in one place!