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Messages By: anon_slc

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September 30, 2005, 4:40 pm CDT

MOBBING - EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN THE WORKPLACE

It now has a name MOBBING - emotional abuse in the american workplace.  A few books I consider invaluable to my career library are:  

  

Toxic Coworkers:  How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender   

 

 

Mobbing: Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace, by Noa Davenport, Ruth D. Schwartz, Gail Pursell Elliott  

 

 

The First 90 Days:  Critical Success Strategies for ... at all levels by Michael Watkins   

 

 

Another source of information regarding some very good guidelines of rules for office politics:  

 

www.cyberpsych.com/politics1.html 

 

 

To anyone who has had the misfortune of experiencing emotional abuse in the workplace - my best wishes to your for a speedy recovery from your devasting experience. 

  

 

  

Hope it helps! 

 
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October 1, 2005, 11:42 pm CDT

BAN BULLYING AT WORK - AWARENESS

This website and campaign is the combined effort of a number of
organizations who are working to raise awareness of the issue:

http://www.banbullyingatwork.com/

This is a stand alone campaign, being spear-headed by The Andrea Adams
Trust, the world's first, not-for-profit charity dedicated to tackling
workplace bullying.

 
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November 6, 2005, 9:00 am CST

PEPTIDE YY 3-36 (PYY 3-36) REDUCES FOOD INTAKE

There is an area of research that has determined that uncontrolled eating from brain disorder is a result of a particular protein being absent from the human body.   

  

The research has been able to isolate the specific protein - Neuropeptide Y (NPY), a 36-amino-acid peptide.   

  

The protein to suppress brain disorder appetite is now available in injection and patch form but is available only through prescription.  The research website ( www.phoenixpeptide.com ) has an outstanding amount of technical information regarding this research.   

  

This direct link to the specific information to which I am referring is somewhat long but very well worth the typing and the visit  to the website :   www.phoenixpeptide.com/Catalog%20Files/NPY%20Section/PYY.htm   

  

This protein became available to the public only within the past year.  

  

Hope it helps!  

  

 
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November 7, 2005, 4:51 pm CST

XYLITOL - LOW CARBO NATURAL SUGAR SUBSTITUTE

Xylitol is a natural occurring sweetener found in many fruits like strawberries, pears and plums.  Pure xylitol is a white crystalline substance that looks and tastes like sugar. On food labels, xylitol is classified broadly as a carbohydrate and more narrowly as a polyol. Because xylitol is only slowly absorbed and partially utilized, a reduced calorie claim is allowed: 2.4 calories per gram or 40% less than other carbohydrates.   

  

Xylitol has 40% fewer calories and 75% fewer carbohydrates than sugar and is slowly absorbed and metabolised, resulting in very negligible changes in insulin. About one-third of the xylitol that is consumed is absorbed in the liver. The other two-thirds travels to the intestinal tract, where it is broken down by gut bacteria into short-chain fatty acids. 

  

Chemically speaking, xylitol is not actually a sugar, but a sugar alcohol. It differs from other sweeteners such as sorbitol, fructose and glucose because the xylitol molecule has five, instead of six, carbon atoms. Most bacterias in mouth are unable to make use of such sugars. This is one reason why xylitol helps prevent cavities.  

  

Xylitol tastes and pours like regular sugar, but provides 40% fewer calories.  Xylitol mixes and dissolves readily and is heat stable, making it the ideal sweetner for hot beverages, baking and other cooking applications unlike artificial sweeteners. 

  

Xylitol looks, feels, and tastes exactly like sugar, and leaves no unpleasant aftertaste. It is available in bulk and many forms.  It can be purchased at health food stores and over the internet.   

  

Hope it helps!  

  

Xylitol was approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 1963. 

  

 
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December 24, 2005, 10:25 am CST

KINDNESS and COMPASSION WTH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Quote From: cinful963

Hi, 

I was so glad to have caught your show yesterday...I have had so many people tell me that I am to nice and because of that I let people walk all over me.  Its okay to be nice, but it's not okay to let others take advantage of that.  But I also find that easier said than done for use who where our hearts on our sleeves, and tend to want to believe the best in people and just want to be like by everyone.  I find that when I do assert myself and tell just how I feel about something that doesn't make me happy, It ends up biting me in the a--. I find it hard to understand, why when I assert myself , and tell it like I see it, or try to even take notes from others that do have that leadership quality and try to assert myself in there example...it never works...I get the total opposite reaction. Even from my children.  They are great kids, but believe me they would never talk to there father the way they speak to me at times, but we do teach people how to treat us as you said.  I could go on and on..but I just wanted to let you know I enjoyed the show, and I understood what you were saying, but I also think that people who don't have a "backbone"  as you put it maybe need more than just the words "Stand up for yourself" its not that easy.  I think that the salon girls know how to push her buttons and get what they want now and its not going to be easy for her to just suddenly be "in charge" she needs to get herself into a managerial course, and learn how to be assertive ( is that what the scholarship was for?).  It stinks being the "leader" sometimes, it makes people not think fondly of you at times, and thats hard for a person , like me, to handle because I am a people pleaser, and for some reason feel like I need people to like me...And I think thats what I got from the salon owner...she  is afraid of losing friends, and making enemies. Also I so relate to the crying deal, because I have a really hard time controling my emotions, esp. during any kind of conflict.  It comes over me like a wave and I have no control, I think its probably the one thing I hate most about myself...I wish I could control that., so Dr. Phil how do I control that?? Because I think that would solve alot of the  problems if I were able to just control that one thing.....Well, this went on longer than I anticipated..but again I enjoyed the show.  Thanks! 

Maybe it is not your sense of kindness and compassion that is the problem but your ability to sense where your boundaries begin and another person's end.  Some great resources on this subject that may be of interest to you: 

 

1. Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier  

  

2. Why Is It Always About You?:  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss and James Masterson  

  

 

 

3. Boundaries:  Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine  

 

 

 

 

4. Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life:  Dialectical Behavior Therapy by Scott E. Spradlin  

 

  

 

Hope it helps! 

 

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

 
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January 14, 2006, 8:31 am CST

LOTS OF WAYS TO CURSE OURSELVES

Quote From: popptart

  There are lots of ways of being cursed, I belive we can curse ourselves and not even know it. We can curse our children, without meaning it. My life has been less then charmed, but about 10 years ago I started to 'belive in carma' sort of like the new show 'My name is Earl' and began to try to live my life as honest and true as I could, nothing has changed nothing in my life has got better, yet I continue to try to live honestly and continue to get dirt kicked in my face. 

   I even tried to re-start my life, I got married, had a baby and thought I was finally going to live happily ever after, far from the truth, I had EXTREAMLY bad post pardom and befor my daughter turned one my husband of only 2 years had heart surgery and has had complications since and been out of work. 

   My real mother left me when I was 5 months old, my father the same, and my aunt who I knew as mom dumped me in 2002. My husband was a healthy sane man when we married, and I cant help but think looking at him now, sick and at home, that I am cursed and have been since the first time I was left . 

I hope next time Dr Phil does another show on the topic of "being cursed" I hope he includes an expert on the SUBJECT of PROBABILITY.  Often when a person considers all the factors involved and how each of the factors affect one another - the results are not so surprising.   

  

Some of my favorite books on the subject of LOTS OF WAYS WE CURSE OURSELVES, that may be of interest to you:   

  

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward 

  

Why is it Always about You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of ...  by Sandy Hotchkiss  

  

Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem (Self-Worth)  

  

Behind the Masks:  Personality Disorders in Religious Behavior by Wayne E. Oates  

  

The above books are my favorites for approaches to combining modern psychiatry, the wisdom of the Bible and dynamics of family systems. 

  

Hope it helps! 

  

  

  

  

  

 
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February 5, 2006, 11:02 am CST

Divorcing Family Dysfunction

Some of my favorite books which provide a great introduction into the subject of family systems and dysfunctions are:   

  

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward  

  

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss 

  

Divorcing a Parent:  Free Yourself from the Past and Live the Life You Always Wanted by Beverly Engel  

  

The decision to divorce another person is never easy.  As painful as it may be, there are birth families that are so destructive that the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Leave to begin a life of healing and recovery so that you can eventually live a joyful and peaceful life.  

  

 
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February 9, 2006, 8:17 pm CST

SIBLING ABUSE & UNHEALTHY COMPETITION

As painful as it may be, there are birth families that are so destructive that the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Some of my favorite introductory books on the subject of family systems and dysfunction are:  

     

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss  

  

What Parents Need to Know About Sibling Abuse... by Vernon Wiehe  

  

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward  

   

Leave to begin a life of healing and recovery so that you can eventually live a joyful and peaceful life.   

  

Hope it helps! 

  

 
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February 12, 2006, 9:27 am CST

CHILDHOOD RAPE - MOTHERS & PARENTAL CONSENT

Probably one of the most disturbing facts about child sexual abuse and incest, is that in 80% of reported cases, the mother of the victim is/was aware of the sexual abuse inflicted on the child, yet did little or nothing about it.  

  

Just how responsible is a parent for failing to report or stop the sexual abuse of a child or family member.  There was a recent article in a local newspaper (The Sale Lake Tribune) about a women who was aware her husband was sexually abusing her children yet did nothing about it until he began sexually abusing the neighborhood children, then later raping her.   

  

The article was promoting the local rape center for WOMEN.  Who is effectively dealing with the recovery and rape of innocent and unsuspecting children. 

  

Go figure??? 

  

  

 
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February 12, 2006, 9:58 am CST

DESTRUCTIVE BIRTH FAMILIES

There are birth families that are so destructive that the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.   

  

Some of my favorite books which provide a great introduction into the subject of family systems and dysfunctions are:    

   

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss  

  

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward  

  

Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman OR Understanding the Borderline Mother Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson  

  

As painful as it may be, make a promise to yourself to leave so that you can begin a life of healing and recovery so you can eventually learn to live a joyful and peaceful life.   

  

 

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