Messages By: elmomama

I think parents who even allow their children to compete in "beauty" pageants are wrong.  Yes, baby contests are cute, but when the child is old enough to realize that they win or lose based on their appearance, there is a problem.  My daughter is a very beautiful little girl, but I want her to get self confidence from other aspects of her life.  Her talent, intelligence, sense of humor, endurance, etc. is so much more important.  People can lose their looks in an instant.  We never know what is going to happen.  I don't think that children should think their outside appearance is what makes them or breaks them!  I feel sorry for these children.  I do think it is a type of abuse (emotional).  This could lead to depression and/or eating disorders, as well as many other negative personal issues.  When I was about 10, and I was going through the "little ugly stage" that girls go through, I remember my mother telling me that I was "an ugly duckling that was going to grow up to be a beautiful swan".  She didn't just come out and say it, but I was complaining about my appearance, and that was her answer.  That affected me for a very long time.  I really thought I was ugly then.  My mother was an awesome mom, and I don't think she realized what she was doing when she said it.  I mentioned it to her as an adult and she said, "Well, I was right, wasn't I?  You are a beautiful Swan now."  So, I guess mom still don't get it.  But anyway, girls are under so much pressure.  I would just like to encourage mothers to stray away from basing self worth on looks.  Hygeine is important, but there is always going to be someone more beautiful than your daughter(or son)....

This is a very important topic.  I am glad we are discussing it now.  This is a lead-in to drug abuse.  Believe me-I've been there.  My drug addiction in my 20s which included just about every drug you can imagine may have began with the mini thins I took at age 13 in middle school.  We used to buy bottles and take 10-20 per person, always bragging about how many we took.  I wish I would have known at 13 what I know now.  Thank God I was able to escape my miserable life of drug abuse.  If I ever had the opportunity to tell my story, I would love to share.  I went from a straight A student and a person who held a $40,000 per year management job at 22 years old to a street person.  I was on the streets for 2 years doing unimaginable things to survive and keep my drug habit up.  I am one of the few who escaped this terrible lifestyle. Thank God I am alive!  It makes me so sad to see others using.  A drug is a drug, and they are all dangerous.  People also need to realize that just because a subtance is legal, doesn't mean it is ok to ingest.  I hope Dr. Phil mentions that there is always something else behind using drugs.  It is usually because people have unresolved issues that they don't want to face.  There is some reason that people want to be high.  I think there must be something wrong that they don't want to deal with. There is a reason the user doesn't want to be "normal".  Even when people say they use drugs because of peer pressure.  I think that is caused from other issues, possibly insecurity or wanting to belong. God bless Dr. Phil for doing a show on such an important issue.  Hopefully there will be some kids watching-it could save some lives.  If any parents need me to explain what I went through to their children, I would be happy to share.  My story is unbelievable.  I now have a one year old daughter.  When she is mature enough to understand, I am going to take her to the place I used to hang out (as long as it is safe enough).  I want to show and tell her what I went through.  I am not proud of it, but I can't help to wonder if it would have changed some of my decisions.  I knew crack cocaine was "bad", but I didn't understand that I could use it one time and lose everything I owned, including my self-love within two months.  How was I supposed to understand that someone could go from the Dean's List in college and an active member of church to jail within a year?  It is so very sad.  I was one of those people who thought it could never happen to me, and people who used drugs were stupid and losers.  But, I like to think that I am stronger now, and it has humbled me.  I pray that God uses me to help others who go through this terrible sickness.  I am in college now,  again, studying to be a registered nurse.  Hopefully, I can work at a rehabilitation service to help others.  I want anyone who is reading this who is fighting a drug addiction to know you can stop.  I know that is feels like you can't, but you can.  Please get help-before you hurt yourself or someone else more.  There are people out there willing to help....God Bless You All!

Hello!  I just now realized I had a reply to my message on the message board.  Thanks so much for responding.  I am glad that people took the time to listen to my story.  You sound very much like myself!  I had problems with my step-father until I was an adult.  Then, while I was using drugs he passed away.  Thank God I had the opportunity to forgive him-for mine and his sake.  But the sad thing was, I was so messed up on drugs that I was too embarrassed for my family to see me so I didn't attend the funeral.  It is interesting that it is considered a disability.  In so many ways, it is.  I was very sick-physically, mentally, and emotionally.  But, I just wanted to thank you for caring enough to respond.  It means a lot to me.  Someone else contacted me about my experience and she is giving a speech to some young adults about drug abuse, addiction, and possible ways of avoiding the lifestyle, and has asked for my input.  I am so excited to have the opportunity to help her.  God Bless you and your family and I wish you continued success.  It is sad to hear about the loss of you career, but I am thankful that you didn't lose your life.  We are blessed to be able to share our stories.