Messages By: tusmom

When is the "right" age to nudge the bird out of its nest?  I have a child that will soon be 23.  He has a full time job, pays a small amt of rent ($200/month); pays his insurance, cell phone bill, gym monthly fee...I have met a fabulous man that some day I hope to marry.  I've explained to him that he should prepare now while he has a "safety net" (ME) still there.  I have offered him a golden opportunity to maintain the house I bought where he could move in a couple of roommates (he could not afford a house for the amt the current house note is).  What amazes me is that even though he makes a great salary for his age, he lives pay day to pay day.  I've tried to show him how to budget his money (write down everything you spend money on so you will see where you are throwing it away) but he hasn't done that as yet.  Seems like each pay day he is having delinquent fund letters come to the house.  The final straw was when he locked his keys in his car and wanted me to bring them to him (10:30 pm downtown), I explained to him that he had emergency roadside service (that is free) but because it was going to be an inconvenience (he would have to wait about 30 minutes) he wanted to break out the back window; after getting angry with him, he had a friend bring him to the house to get his extra key... again, his friend is out gas money (like its not high enough right now).  I'm trying to make him responsible without totally abandoning him to make it on his own, but what does it take??????? 

Yeah, I didn't think it was much of an issue either until my 18 year old son (a junior in high school) was dating a woman that was 34 years old and had a son that was 16.  THEN, it suddenly became an issue.  Did I mention that she was also married?  Since he was 18, I gave him the choice dump her or tell her husband to move over because he was coming to their house.  If you are the older woman dating the younger man, stop for a second and ask yourself how you would feel if your son was dating a much older woman (did I also mention that she was only 9 years younger than ME?) That kind of made my stomach feel VERY odd... wouldn't it yours?