Messages By: lstnspce

When I saw the sad man and the lovely gal yesterday, they were like the friends I have only dreamed to meet.  They spoke my heart.  My house was so bad my friends came and helped my husband.  When my husband cleans the house I go to bed and cannot help him, as it creates such confusion to me.  I don't know where to start.  I have everything I have ever owned, except clothes.  Well, a few years back I did unload, but now have the same mess.  I hate it, but can't seem to change it, as I never really was aware of it.  I too save jars, boxes, burned out light bulbs, bags of peanuts from packing.  I keep old  clothes from loved ones, and I don't even have kids. I regret ever cleaning out when I do.  I also go through the trash to make sure nothing has been thrown out.  It was so wonderful (misery loves company) to hear those people and relate to their emotions.  I tell you I have really tried and cannot overcome this, except for brief periods when I am "trying to be good".  I am more like the sweet gal that was on there. (not sweet, but her story is my story)  I have been this way all of my life as I have everything from my childhood and can remember losing almost anything I have lost. I have many medical problems and thought perhaps I just didn't feel like cleaning it, it was so overwhelming.  Now I am wondering if something truly is wrong in my brain.  When Dr. Phil said that, it was the only thing that sounded like it made any sense to me at all in years about this situation.  How my husband can love me is beyond me. 

My husband and I have no children and for many years we have "adopted" children and been Aunts or Uncles.  With so much abuse from so many sick people we no longer ask children to stay over for fear we would be accused of something wrong. It's a sad world when normal people cannot have normal friendships for fear of being falsely accussed.  I don't trust any neighbors and now believe we never know what goes on behind closed doors.  Before all of the bad things that 24 hour news has made us aware of, we were so happy and had wonderful times with our generous friends who shared their children.  Now we stay close to home.  It's very sad, but one cannot live with their head in the sand and when you pull it out of the sand, you realize no one is immune from false acusations.  If I had children, I would not let them go to sleep overs at others houses.  Whatever fear I have, I wonder if the children sense the fear we have.

I think saying the "N" word is pretty stupid.  I thought we buried the word and it was never to be used again.  To me it is no more than a word that the slang used for any other word.  I believe anyone who uses this slang word is a racist, whether they be black or white.  It proves they judge others in life by color.  The issue of race is hard enough, especially for the person in the minority position---which the white person is almost the the minority, which angers others. So then will "whitey" be a really bad word. Are we going to call it the "W" word?  I see the "N" word equal to the "W" word or the use of the word cracker.  If we continue to use the slang, then we cannot as adults have a real conversations about each other and the hardships that come from in our lives.  Whether it be as a black, white, red, yellow or tangerine color.  Let's just be people, discussing the hardships we have encountered in our life due to whatever caused them  and try to see where the other is coming from.  If a person has any empathy at all, knows history, they do not even have to discuss these topics.  They just need to respect each other as brother and sister, regardless of race, religion, gender or nationality.  I think we need to get over ourselves and go help others who are in need.  As long as we stay hung up in the muck of these outdated words we can never learn to love each other. It would be like speaking to each other using the language and words used in the 1700's.  We sure would sound pretty silly.

It makes me very sad to learn how many women do know how to put their children first.  Most and I mean this, most Mom's that I know that are in their early 30's think they are to be best friends with their children.  They do not dress age appropriate (which does not mean they need to dress like an old woman).  They enjoy the attention from their daughters boyfriends.  I wondered what our generation (born 1952) did that was so wrong that these young Mom's think this is Mothering.  I cannot believe women have to put their handbags beside the baby seat in the back seat in order to remember their child is in the car.  Our lives were just as pressured and hectic.  We had jobs, children, gardens to hoe and food to can, cleaning, shopping, pumping our own gasoline and none of the kitchen conveniences this generation has, and I did not know anyone who "forgot" their child.  Perhaps the "Party Mom" comes from where we talked too much to our children and they refuse to grow up and want to stay children with their children.  I do not know,but it's sad.  One gal I know is having a baby and is expecting her 8th. grade daughter to home school to help her stay home and take care of the expected child.  I just have to say "what is wrong with these women"?  It must have something to do with needing attention and getting it in one of the most sick ways.  When young women show this side of themselves to me, in order to save conflict, I must remove myself from these ladies.  They do not even know they could be ladies.  They describe themselves as being "hot".  Attractive and cute, but save the word "hot" if used at all, for a man to say to his wife in private.  The term "muffin top" came from the 30 some gals dressing like their daughters with their little roll of fat hanging over their "skinny jeans".  When I was in my 30's, no one had to tell me how to dress when I was a bit overweight.  The saga continues, and again, I think they party to win the attention of the young men and play "party buddy" with their daughters.  It is selfish and it causes gals to do stupid things like loose their children and give them sleeping medications.  I am so thankful for my properly dressed Mother, who worked, and I always knew I would have a homemade meal on the table when I came home from school.  She taught me right from wrong and gave me the privacy to have my own friends, while in turn she had her own friends. I did not party with my daughter and if she parties with her daughter, I will speak my mind.  If she looses her baby, I will pray for her, but hope no one connects the dots and realize that I failed to do my job as a mother.  This generation is not the first generation with career mothers, busy mothers, and I don't think it has anything to do with fun. I think these women are sick.  I do not know what is lacking in their lives, but can they not read a few good books on motherhood and then make up their own minds as to what a proper mother should be.  I hang my head in grief and shame for them and my heart aches for their children who will learn nothing about motherhood from their own mothers.  I am ranting, but it is so sad.