Messages By: amethystic

First of all, I would like to say that I whole-heartedly agree that fathers and mothers should have equal rights in the aspects of concieving, bringing to term, and or raising children. I also believe that at present, they do. At least as far as conception goes.   

When two consenting adults decide to make love, they both are hopefully aware of the consequences and or choices that may follow logically. They BOTH can decide to either use a condom or not, they BOTH can decide to either use other methods of birth control or not. Granted, a woman is able to be dishonest about something such as taking birth control pills, but a man is able to be dishonest about having reproductive capabilities as well.   

Bottom line in my opinion, if a man does not want to make a baby, he has many options available. First and foremost being the obvious abstination from sexual intercourse. Secondly the choice to either wear a condom or not. With the former there is no chance whatsoever that he could possibly make a baby, and with the latter, the chance of still creating a conception are roughly the same as with the "pill".   

As far as my emotional opinions go, the man obviously does not want anything to do with the child he created along with his former partner. A fact that is otherwise known as a FATHER. Perhaps somewhere between wanting good sex and using good judgement, he fell off of the responsibility wagon. Surely, he was not violated in the sense that his sperm was taken into her womb without his knowledge or consent. Perhaps she was dishonest. I couldn't possibly say being that she did not defend that particular aspect herself; but even if she was, that is a question of character. And character raises yet another aspect of this situation where he had complete and total freedom of choice. For whatever reason either he was unaware of her true character or we are unaware of his. That leaves me with no ideas that he has any right to ignore his genetic responsibility.   

When you boil out all the body fluids, you are left with a simple choice. Fire, being hot in nature, can easily burn one who chooses to play with it. The oven-mitt was invented for a reason. I wonder what would happen in the American Judicial System if I sued Emerril Ware because I chose to pick up a hot pan handle without one? Would I be able to sue Mr. Emerril because I got a boo boo????? I certainly hope not.  

Although I can understand your perspective on the STD issue (which by the way is certainly far from hypothetical) I disagree. It is a personal decision to have unprotected sex. It is also a personal battle to win when you become sick, pregnant, or otherwise unhappy due to that choice.  

The only way that I would consider a person responsible for making another person ill due to an STD would be a rape or otherwise unconsentual situation. Other than that, it is not your partner's responsibilty to keep you well.. its YourS.  

I just wanted to take this opportunity to further add to my original post in giving those of you interested a slight background from which I base my ideals.  

At 17, in a bad relationship, where I showed lack of character judgement as well as emotional maturity... I had unprotected sex and concieved a child. Realizing that I would wind up as a Lifetime Movie statistic if I stayed with him, I left upon finding out I was pregnant. When prompted to obtain child support.. I DECLINED across the board. I didn't want it, I still don't want it. I prefer to raise my son alone and in a morally structured environment as opposed to a few lousy bucks richer and putting up with corrupting behavior.  

Thanks.. :) 

Props.. Props.. triple props double props.. oh and a kudo for flavor! lol.   

 :)  

Ok.. First of all.. that's not a very well thought out opinion. Going on that logic.. just for starters.. $500 a month would even pay rent. Sorry.. Lets continue.  Suppose it is a FACT that this woman lied to Matt.. which by the way, is not fact, only hearsay in the court of law. But lets pretend since that's what we are doing here, and say that she did in fact lie without possibility of being found truthful.. She produced an egg that month like most women of childbearing age do.. and that egg in and of itself would be on a feminine napkin somewhere if he had not added his sperm. You see.. without his contribution.. microscopic as it may be.. there would not be a baby.  

I also disagree that women have much of anything to do with men not paying child support. There are good men in this world.. and there are other men in this world. And if a man does not Have to take responsibility and he chooses furthermore not to have the morals to take it... he is not going to pay child support. If on the other hand he does have personal dignity and responsibility.. he will.. or even more ideally.. he wont have to because he will protect himself from making an unwanted child, along with his partner.  

And continuing on the non-factual aspect.. even if she did lie.. she is the only one who is taking responsibility. She is raising that child which he refuses to so much as touch. She is undoubtedly paying for the things that the child needs. She is giving the child love and or compassion and or bedtime stories.. not Matt.  And if it disgusts you that a woman could possibly lie.. I have a hard time understanding how a man refusing to be a M-A-N could possibly win your vote. In my humble opinion.. if one is going to have morals.. one should just go ahead and buy the whole package. Selective morals are 99% of the reason why in this country, you are given a life without work, bills, debt for committing a serious crime. Its the reason why we have homeless people, starving children, foster systems filled with babies and children who will never know a mother or a father. Its the reason we argue about things like who should win "American Idol" instead of who should be in control of our military. Quite frankly.. all of the half-way thought out opinions, in my opinion, will be our end.  

I can see your point.. and I would have the same view of that as I do of this. It happens every day. Meanwhile.. the baby (or fetus as it were) is in the woman's abdomen, not the man's. So I really don't see how a man could force her to carry the baby any more than a man can force her to have an abortion. But hey.. with all this science and technology maybe a man can find a way to carry the baby, go through abortion or labor, etc. I can think of a few women who would be happy to see that.  

I guess that question is similar to if I say my neighbor's hand might smack me, should I be able to make him cut it off? Or should I stay away from my neighbor in the first place? Male or female.. if you don't want it.. you know what not to do.  

I totally agree that men should be able to participate in a choice over something such as abortion, adoption, etc. And to my knowledge something like that is in place somewhere, but the problems lie in the same area as everything else. First of all, we have a very inadequate judicial system. Case in point: a cat fight over whether or not a living, breathing human being deserves to be loved and taken care of. This is not a baby in utero, a fetus or any other such abortion jargon. Its a child.  

Secondly,  If responsibility were taken in the first place whether you wanted a baby or not, and whether your partner wanted a baby or not, unwanted babies would not be a reality. And really, when the baby is unwanted, the abortion may be physical, the drop off may be horrible, but there is surely at least an internal death that child will have to live with, if nothing else. It all comes down to character character character. If you know who you're sleeping with, and you both want the same thing, and you both act in a responsible manner to attain that thing, then you will not have an issue.  

Hey, maybe we can just start forcing genital restricting devices on all these men and women who obviously need to take some extra time to think.. mature.. THINK?? I mean.. if we can't just abstain, and we can't wear a condom, and we can't take a pill every morning, and we can't even get along on issues like abortion... ; yet we insisnt on sleeping with one another for some dumb reason.. maybe we should find a way to take genitals out of the genetic code until some level of intelligence and maturity gets woven into the general population?