Messages By: amethystic

You know.. I don't know what's more depressing.. the news or Dr. Phil..  

I cannot believe people even begin to let their lives get this out of control.. God help a man who treated my son the way this little girl is being treated.. and the rest of that sentence is extremely censored.. 

I don't care what kind of behavioral issues this child is having... its obviously a product of the chaos she's been exposed to. She needs help. Hell.. they all need help. She needs kisses and a juice box and a "normal" household where she can live and grieve and begin the process of picking up the pieces of her broken childhood.  

So sad.  

Thank you. I totally agree with you. Too many children these days don't have a positive home life or role models. They seek out what they desire from music or TV, etc. I think that's one of the major reasons for the decline in moral structure in this society. A lot of parents I know seem to look at child rearing as a passive activity. 

I see now more clearly what your original point was, and I couldn't agree more. I think its very important to teach a child how to love, accept love, treat others with respect. I also know that when children see an unhealthy relationship between their parents/ caregivers, they seek out unhealthy ones themselves as adults.  

I would like very much to talk with you more, as well.. and I also wish you well!  

:) 

I can understand your frustration here. Its a sad, sad thing .. and maddening.. to realize what some children have to face in this world.  

I wasn't really sticking up for Barbara in my post.. and I don't believe the person I was replying to was so much as she was trying to raise the point that Barbara has a position as well.. which is only fair.  

No one is doubting that this child has gone through way too much. I, like most people, have my own moral position on things such as cheating, child rearing, etc.. but I also have a moral position not to judge another human being based on my own life. I think that everyone has their own unique set of circumstances that carry weight with their decisions.. as well as their own personal backgrounds. Everything a person sees, touches, hears, feels in their lifetime contributes greatly to what their opinions in life later become.  

Unless I were able to have a one on one conversation with Barbara.. hear her opinions.. hear her life story I don't feel compelled to point a finger at her for anything she has done. The reality of life is that people do what they do.. and most people underneath everything they do are just like you and I.. trying to get through. Yes, Barbara slept with a married man.. but that doesn't make her a bad person.. it was her choice and regardless of what I or anyone else thinks about it.. what's done is done. I think the main thing here is the welfare of the child. She obviously has had a very traumatic 6 years here on earth and lost a lot more than she has gained. My thoughts for her include hoping that she will somehow be brought into a situation where she is loved, valued, respected.. and taught how to be a strong, kind, compassionate woman one day.  

First of all.. allow me to sympathize with your situation. I can imagine how difficult this is for you.  

As a single mom.. I have often been confronted with uncertainty over what to explain to my son and what to leave blank in order to help him remain innocent. One thing I have learned is the golden gift of "because I said so".. and that's that.  

My son in 9.. and I know that I wouldn't want to explain something to him like that.. at least not all the way. I think when kids learn about the bad things in life too early.. it sets them up for fear. However, I would be honest in laying a few ground rules.. such as: 

1. You're not to play at this house anymore..  

2. I am your mother, and I am responsible for you. Its my job to make good decisions for you. This is the decision I have made, and you may not understand, but that's alright. One day you will. 

Of course.. there will be fit throwing.. mostly because they are children and also they don't understand what's going on. But in my opinion, if they did have details like that, it would open up a lot of confusion and fear and questions. 

I guess you will have to gauge it for yourself.. but my advice would be to keep in mind that You are the parent, and You know what's best for your child. One day they will thank you for standing up and doing the right thing despite the difficulty of it.  

Good luck.. and I wish you and your girls the best. God bless.  

I can understand your concern for your granddaughter, but I don't think that making flyers with this man's picture and distributing them or nailing them up is going to solve anything.  

Number one, it is expressed on websites such as the one you are looking at that you are prohibited from using the information you find there to harass people. Also, another poster made the point that not all "sex offenders" are child molesters.  

If I were you, I would concentrate on educating my grandchild so that hopefully, she can avoid situations where she will be hurt if possible. Avoidance is not always possible, but sometimes it is. Also, I would consider the fact that not all child molesters are on a website.