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Messages By: monhol

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July 6, 2006, 1:43 pm PDT

baby wars

 i think  once a man inserts his private area in a lady he should deal with the consequences. since the beginning of time woman have been raising kids alone. there was not any birth control years and years ago. women were told that when you were married, you were to perform your wifely duties no matter what.even if it meant ending up with 19 or 20 children.   now we do not have to live with that fear anymore and we have earned that right. i think if a man or a woman does not want to have children, do not have sex or use protection. you can also have a vasectomy or have your tubes tied. so it is as simple as that. i raised 3 kids with no help from the sperm donor. i held up my end of the deal. i laid down unprotected so i accepted  the consequences. he did not. this man is just immature and wants to go around having sex and not taking responsibility for his actions. he is very sick to think he will win this case. his lawyers are morons. now the poor baby is going to know that daddy  did not want her or be in her life. that will hurt her and she may go into the world looking for the  love daddy did not give her. she may end up with a sorry man like him. their have been times people were told by doctors he  or she could not have a child and end up having a child anyway. so what does that tell you? this man is only going to lose a little money. as in child support. the mother of this child has lost more. one being her life. now she has to be both mom and dad.  this man can still live his life as a childless person and party all night long. mom on the other hand can not.  that is how it has been for a very long time. the nerve of that man!!!
 
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July 7, 2006, 1:52 pm PDT

sicko wife and no backbone daddy

Quote From: sandy_eggo

What a horrible father.  The father just sat there like a stupid dope.  I'll adopt that little girl -- she's been through so much at such a young age.  I was an abused and beaten child and I know the pain that the damn belt causes -- emotionally and physically.  My husband and I have a loving family and we have a lot of love to give.  If that stupid father cannot do right by his own child, then he should put her up for adoption so that she can live in a home that will give her the love she needs.  I hate it when parents put their own selfish needs for sex and companionship ahead of their own children.
 first of all he and his new wife had an affair when he was still married to the first wife. "duh" of couse the kid has resentment she has the right. daddy hurt her mommy while having this affair. it is not uncommon for the step-parent to be jealous and envious of the biological child. women are very catty. they have a bad habit of sleeping with your man and then turn around and hate you. when you have done nothing to them. she did something to you. i'm a woman myself and i see these things all the time. ed's daughter should come first not his wife. his child is his blood and she was here first. when i and my siblings were children my dad put his lady before us. he took care of her and her kids and not the ones who came out the womb looking exactly like him. he was mean and evil to us. he didn't even speak to us for some time. we did nothing to him. the lady was jealous of my mom. my mother did nothing to her. the relationship between my parents did not work out. okay things happen. everyone is not meant to be. but on the other hand my siblings and i paid a hefty price for the mistakes adults made. i hope ed finally comes to his child's rescue. if not she WILL grow up  looking for the love her dad did not give her. she will look for validation from other men. men will sense the needy child in her . these people will take advantage of her. ed needs to leave this horrible jealous woman and  put his baby first. he put his 6 year old baby out for a woman?  he is a very sorry man for that. the sex can't be that good. come on now!!! i can not stress the fact enough this woman is just jealous and envious of this child. she was most likely jealous of her mother while the affair was going on. i hope dr. phil did do some thing about this because it is the most hateful act an adult can put upon a child.
 
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July 8, 2006, 6:29 pm PDT

sick and tired

 i am so sick of these women marrying men who have children and then complain.you knew he had kids when ya met. women need to know you do not have gold between your legs. like my man says its all the same. you may think you are better than the ex. we women have that bad habit. barbara was ed's mistress. the mistress swears she is the better woman stop it ladies!!!  ed needs to put his baby first. and for those of you on this blog who have married men with kids and have to pay child support out of your money, that's what  you get when you marry someone with responsibilities. i feel sorry for none of you. i am a single mother who did not receive child support.  you should not marry a man with kids. child support comes out the household first. go to family court and the judge will tell ya that. the judge may ripe you a new butt hole if ya act stupid about it. kids come first no matter what. do not get mad at the ex because your man laid down with her unprotected and had a child or children. believe me he or she did not think the relationship or marriage would not work out. we women need to stop being so jealous of the ex and the children. if not do not marry a man with children, it is as simple as that. my man and i are not married. i have 3 kids of my own to raise. he knew he had to pay child support before he met me and guess what he pays it not me. yes we live together and he does pass off the dough. but that is what you do when you live together. if he was alone he would still have to pay bills. i do not complain about his child support payments. he should pay it. thats his job. when we get a bigger place his child will live with us. grow up ladies and stop letting the green eyed monster take over. believe me some of you are probably not all that anyway. grow the hell up for once!!
 
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July 8, 2006, 6:45 pm PDT

on grandparents

Quote From: heretic

For my family, grandparents are not so loving and nice. They placed themselves between us and our oldest son to the point he would not obey our wishes and even threatened to kill us at one point. He is my wife's oldest son from a previous marriage. Before we met she lived with her parents who babysat her son while she worked. When I came along, my wife's son was moving into our home with his mother. Her parents threw a major fit and convinced her to let hime stay with them for a while. When we tried to get him out of their house, we were sued for abandoning a child and her parents have sole custody of him now. He threatened to kill us if we made him come live in our home away from his grandmother. Take it from us, do not let grandparents influence come between you and your children even if you have to move several hundred miles away. There is more to this story than probably there is room to write here--my wife's mother has Munchhousen syndrome (however you spell it!) and uses any excuse to and family event to exaggerate it into something incredible. Because of her parents' interference in our lives and the lies they told against us in court, my wife has not spoken to her family since 1998.
  i too had not so nice grandparents who helped raise me my dad parents were abusive toward me. verbally and mentally. this caused me low self esteem issues. they put a wedge between me and my dad. he was abusive too. they tried to turn me against my mom. my grandmother would lie on me and get me in trouble with my dad. my moms parents , especially her mother she did not like us and we knew it. my parents were not married and she would call us bastards and mom never stuck up for us. she was mean all the time. she made us feel unwanted. in her house we could not move. we had to stay in one room with her untill my mom came from school. she let us know that was her house. so the rest of the family and the world treated us the same way. no one went to bat for us. this has caused alot of pain in my life. so i always went to bat for my kids. i let them know this is your house too. home is your sanctuary. if you can not feel comfortable there, where can you feel comfortable? grandparents are not always the best answer. sometimes, even in my case cpc should step in.
 
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July 9, 2006, 10:57 am PDT

again

Quote From: amethystic

I like the way that you stated some of your points, I thought it was a fair representation.. but I don't like the bit about spouses always coming first ahead of children. I can see where you are coming from (I think..).. but I think that in some cases, that's not appropriate.  

  

Where I'm coming from is being a single mom for years and finding someone to marry.. I love him very much.. but if he was causing or being the brunt of a certain amount of ridiculous BS from or involving my son .. letting go of my son would not even be an option!! I would either solve it or bye bye love.  Its none of my concern to wonder whether or not Barbara or anyone else in this family raises this child.. but it is obvious to me that she needs some sort of continual guidance in her life.  

  

I don't know a lot about this story, but from what I'm gathering this child has been through quite a lot and she may not be handling it in the way that an adult would.. but then again how many adults handle things that way?  

  

Anyway I want to say again that I think you posted your thoughts very nicely and that's getting rare here. :) 

 why are you women feeling sorry for barbara?? she deserves everything  she gets,. has anyone been paying attention???  she slept with a married man people!!!   she helped break up a home that the child was part of!!  i do not blame the child for hating her. barbara came into her family and disrupted  HER  life. the child was and always will be the innocent bystander in this. she has  LOST HER MOTHER PEOPLE???  she is only 6. a child not an ADULT. what goes around comes around. do you people really expect to live with a man happily ever after when you  go into the relationship dishonest, and cheating?? it is against the laws of nature for this thing to work out. they got together wrong. they both had dirty hands. the way you get a man or woman is the way you lose him or her. love does not and will not keep these sorry excuses for parents  together. pay back is a mother ain't  it  ???
 
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July 9, 2006, 11:10 am PDT

07/07 The Final Ultimatum

Quote From: purplepain

"Otherwise the spouse comes first.!!"

Your priorities are sickly out of whack. Kids always come first. Any healthy adult would agree. Any healthy marriage puts all kids first; step, bio or adopted.

I assume you are young or you never grew up mentally and I sure hope you don't have children. Kids always ALWAYS come first. If my husband ever told me that I came first over my daughter I would be angry and disturbed at him. My daughter comes first before either of us and that is the way it is supposed to be.
 i agree with you. when we have kids we make a choice. when you lay down with someone and have unprotected sex, you have made your choice. kids do not ask to be born. you made that choice. abortion has been legal for years now. there are also adoption agencies. forster care. some places have a safe haven where a person can drop off the child no questions asked. there many, many, types of birth control.  a person can have her tubes tied, the pill, condoms, even the foam. a man can get FIXED too. in this day and age there is no excuse for this kind of behavior towards a child. my kids come first. i  did not abort. i did not take  any precautions. but i accepted the consequences for my actions. i now have all teenagers. i do not want anymore children and i am taking the right precautions. i will not let any man talk me into starting  all over again. kids should always come first.
 
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July 14, 2006, 3:07 pm PDT

crazy women

 why do women pay their man's child support?? how stupid can a person be. he knew he had kids before he met her. he also knew he had child support to pay. why can't he pay it himself?? when you marry someone your debts become their debts. that is if you both work. he has no job. why pay a man's child support if he has no job? i am a woman myself and i refuse to pay my boyfriends child support. he was married to this woman and it did not work out. things happen but take care of your kids point blank. i was the woman who did not receive child support on the regular basis. i may have received 2,500 dollars in a matter of 19 years. but guess what my ex's stupid girlfriend paid to make sure he did not go to jail. but you know what? i enjoyed spending that money!!!  so take it from me his ex is enjoying  HER money. so women  wake the hell up and do not let your man use you.
 
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July 14, 2006, 3:34 pm PDT

07/11 Domestic Dollar Disputes

 clint is just selfish. he feels because he works he can spend what he wants, no it does not work that way. he wanted her to be a stay at home mom. so he is suppose to  take care of ALL her needs. he is using money to control her and to keep her dependent on him so she will not wake up one day and smell the daisies and leave him. he is very insecure. i believe he thinks because her ex pays child support and  it is great this man does his job, that he should not give her anything. he feels hey let her ex pay some bills in here. her ex does not live there. his kids do. i was in a situation similar to that. i to had a child with a man and he did not want to give me anything or help with the bills even though he lived in the same house with us. we broke up because of it. years later i never forgot how he treated me amd left me with bills and i had no money for myself. he had 2 jobs and paid only HIS personal bills. how selfish is that?? these men want to have all the benefits of marriage but do not want the responsibility. "oh by the way", in some states if a man  wants his wife to be a stay at home mom, if they get divorced, he will have to pay her alimony. there is a song it goes like this "it's cheaper to keep her" "oh  he'll also  pay child support too"
 
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July 16, 2006, 6:40 pm PDT

06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

if your gay your gay. it is not a choice. my child is gay. she told if she could change it she would. by the way people who talk bad about gays or gay bash, are usually gay themselves and are afraid to "come out". these same people most likely have already been having a gay relationship. they are trying to hide and justify themselves by taunting gays. there is something called "the down low" something that so-called straight people do to hide their homosexuality.  by day he or she is with the opposite sex, "hey" sometimes he or she is married,and by night he or she is having a sexual relationship with the same sex. some of these people have children.
 
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July 27, 2006, 5:39 pm PDT

fighting styles

 mr gerald has done something or is doing lots of things to make her act like a complete fool. men love to see us women belittle our selves for them and than tell friends, family, and the woman he is cheating on us with that we are crazy. there is alot more to this story i bet. did he meet her through cheating? did he tell a whole bunch of lies to get her?? are her hands dirty as well?? listen up ladies the way you get a man is the way you lose him. when you go into a relationship filled with deceit and lies it will end that way. one of you could have clean hands but if your partner does not he or she will make you unclean too.
 

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