My husband had an affair 20 years ago. I had confronted him when it was going on and he denied it. Then when the women he was having the affair with got Aids he told me. I stayed with him thinking that he made a mistake and we had 20 years invested in our marriage and didn't want to throw it away. Eventhough he had told my 18 year old daughter (at the time that he was having this affair and I was depressed as well as not getting along with him,) that I was sick and she should talk to me.
Well history repeats itself, and eventhough he is not having a sexual affair, he had or has a female friend that they are very close. I asked him to give up the friendship 2x, it came down to he left , didn't say anything to his children no good byes just left.,sending me and them an email while I was at my daughters house . He moved to another state, set himself up in a senior trailer park in May.
I got sick in Nov. that same year and he drove 17 hours back to be with me.
We decided to try and make it work. I was honest and upfront with him telling him that this female friend could not be in the picture and he would have to end the friendship. He agreed.
That was in December on my birhday, now I find out that he had let her stay at his place in Jan and Feb. He told me that she was down their , however he neglected to tell me it was after he said he would not contact her and he wanted to work things out between us.
We are married 41 years. He still thinks I'm sick and should see a dr. ha ha ha
I'm back at my daughters, and his(female) friend called me Looney Tunes. I just told him I agree with her, I got to be sick to think that he loves me like he says.
Bottom line is I think I should have left the first time. Now that we are married 41 years I see it as there is nothing there. A marriage take two, who need trust, loyalty, compassion, understanding. Love can take you so far, but with out the basic building blocks, it can't hold.
