Messages By: cathym1

All my life I struggled with my weight.  While i was never fat, I was always chubby.  I was always hoving around 20-25 lbs overweight.  My life revolved around food.  Being Italian, family gatherings always centered around cooking, eating and washing it all down with wine.  At my fattest, i was a size 10.  (I'm 5 foot and a petite frame) so thats not good.  Like Dr. Phil says, Stop making excuses, own up to it.  So I did.  I stopped making excuses for being Too tired, or too sick to go work out.  I started getting up at 5 am to go running.  I signed up for a 1/2 marathon and stopped focusing on food as entertainment, but as fuel for my body.  While I was eating, I constantly imagined a little gas tank gauge.  The more I ate, the more I filled up, and when I was comfortable, I stopped eating, regardless of how gooood it tasted. 

Most importantly, I am a busy woman.  but I stopped making excusing and stopped putting EVERYTHING ahead of myself.  The dishes came before me, my husband, the laundry, the dog, etc.  Everything had to be done before I could take the time for myself.  Well forget that.  I get home from work, and I take the time for myself.  My running is my chance to get away and just run.  Leave my problems behind and just run away from them.  I ate a healthy dinner, but with portion control, and went to bed everynight at 9:30 - 10 so that I could have a full 8 hours before tomorrow's run.  If the dishes weren't done and the laundry wasn't done, so what?  Put yourself back on your priority list.  You first, your husband next, your children third, and the housework should fall somewhere behind there.  I also gave myself the greatest gift I could give myself.  Flexability and forgiveness.  If the alarm went off at 5 and I was still feeling like I REALLY needed another hour, I slept in, but damned if I wasn't going to run after work.  and Forgiveness that sometimes, I have a bad run.  Sometimes, I just can't get out there and hit the pavement.  and thats ok.  Days off are always good too. 

As soon as I took the time for myself.  I foudn that I had more energy to tackle the things I thought I would be too tired to do.  After I shower, I usually get intimate with my husband, and feel empowered by the way my body is changing.  I've lost 15 lbs with just another 10 to go, and I will be exactly where I want to be.  Like Nike says, Just do it. 

I've surfed the site and I find it appauling.  No one should be publicly bashed like that.  Aside from that point - that site makes me realise just how stupid women can be.  What poor decisions we make.  I surveyed about 30 posts and of those 30 posts, 25 of them stated that he had a girlfriend/wife at the time.  Wow.  Come on, Ladies!  How stupid do you get? 

I know I know, you make it okay by saying his situation is "different"  but its not.  Only 2 situations are possible, If he says that he has a girlfriend/wife and that they are having problems and been for a long time, blah blah blah.  either: 1.) hes lying and according to his wife/girlfriend -things are just fine.  or 2.) his current relationship is banging on the rocks...either way, the only thing hes showing you right now that his needs come first and he runs away from the issue instead of dealing with it.  

Like Dr.Phil says.  He he'll do it with you - he'll do it to you. 

Sue his first wife?  What the hell is wrong with you, Lady?  Since when isn't your husband responsible for his OWN actions?  He left you and I'm sorry but thats not HER fault.  She doesn't owe you anything, she has no loyalty to you...why should she be responsible?  Shes not the one who is committed to someone else!  Sure, she might have emailed your husband behind your back..but guess what...HE EMAILED HER BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sueing the lover is crap.  I've been cheated on before.  Not once did I blame her!  She knew about me..she believed his lies that our relationship was banging on the rocks.  It doesnt' matter what she told him.  He was the one in the relationship, not her!!! 

I understand.  You don't really want to blame the responsible party...so you blame the other woman...who is most often referred to as a "Wh*re"  Shes not!  Your husband/boyfriend/S.O is!  Even if she repeatedly calls after he broke it off with her....guess what again, open your eyes!!! She wouldn't be calling him if he wasn't encouraging it in some way! 

I don't usually post but I just had to share my story.  The best thing my father ever did for me is to MAKE me do things on my own.  For example:  I bought my first car when I was 16.  The next day, it would start.  I whined to him that I couldn't get the car to start.  He said, "ok, we'll take care of it. "  We hoped in the car and drove to the library.  What?  The Library?  Yes!  He walked in, checked out the service manual for the car, plopped it into my hands and said, "if you have any questions, I'm here, but you should be able to find all the answers there." 

I learned through trial and error that it was the carborator.  He drove me to the pick-a-part and paid for the part after me, and only me, was allowed to take it out of another old car.  After we got home, I put it into my car, and viola!  The car started.  He taught me how to change my own oil, change my own flat tire, change my brakes, and rotate my tires.  His tough love forced me to learn enough about cars that when I did need to take a car in for service - no mechanic could put a fast one on me. 

This tough love attitude applied to a lot of things.  and for that, I turned into a independent woman who needs no man to change a flat.