Messages By: leekaren

This poster seems to have underlying issues with men, or insecurities within herself.  The lifestyle is for couples that are both in agreement, with being involved.  If there are issues with one half of the couple, it is not a place for you to be.  It is portrayed in open forums, to be a negative environment.  Not so.  For those possitively involved within the lifestyle, it can be very rewarding and enhance your personal relationship, emotionally and spiritually.  My wife and I have been involved in lifestyle functions for about 6 years.  We have elevated our relationship to euphoric realms.  Our open-ness between each other, in all aspects of our lives, has drastically been enhanced.  We talk openly and honestly with each other, without reservations.  As was noted in the show, there is no need to worry about one or the other "cheating".  We simply ask up front, if there is a hint of reservation detected, we drop the idea of that particular party.  We set upfront boundaries that we both honor.  This helps to avoid conflicts, overall.  The lifestyle, and the open-ness that it offers to my wife and I, transfers over into all aspects of our lives.  Although we have been married for 28 years, we hold hands as we walk down the street, or through the store.  We talk over dinner (sit in a restaurant, watch the middle aged to older folks, not talking to each other!).  We listen to each other, with intensity.  The lifestyle is not only about sex.  For example, lots of the places that we go, have dance floors.  Dancing, ugg!  Something I despised greatly.  Now, I'm up and dancing on the open dance floor with my wife.  The first time I danced in the club, she held me and cried.  Tenderly kissing me and telling me how happy I had made her.  Since she LOVES to dance!  Every once in awhile, you just need to say to yourself, "WTF!  Why not try it!  The most that could happen is that my legs would wobble!"  (But she says that I dance good!)
There is an old story about chasing a butterfly, and how it will try to elude you, but if you sit quietly and patiently, it will come and sit on your shoulder.
Love and all of its rewarding attributes, (honesty, sensuallity, respect, etc., oh yeah and SEX!!) will be had by those that embrace it, rather than try to capture and hold onto it. 
I would much rather have my wife coming back to me and hugging and giving me a kiss, telling me that she has the best guy in the world, then arguing over petty issues in a stagnated home environment.  (Not to be confused with "she might be looking" for someone else).  Besides, its much better than watching Law & Order reruns!  Our children are 27, 26 & 24, all boys.  They have dropped their hints and fished with comments, to which we just offer deflective comments.
Lifestyle friendly,
Lee & Karen